Out of the Rabbit Hole
by Sum1cooler
Summary: Logan was abused and locked in his basement for eighteen years until the police recused him. Scarred, he needs to learn to trust people and who is better to help him than the head policeman's son? T rating. Cargan/jagan/Kames
1. Happy Unbirthday

This is the story I've been trying to start. carlosgarcia (my Boo, not the real guy although...) helped me with flushing out the start of the story.

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><p><strong>Happy Unbirthday<strong>

A darkly camouflaged officer quickly juts through the pitch black hallway, a pistol-flashlight in one hand and a taser in the other. He couches behind a fern, scouting the area for the Mitchell. Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell are two of the most deadly child sadists in world, known for their acts of cruel torture to kids. They escaped many leads and avoided the police forces for the last twenty years but luckily an anonymous tipper heard cries and screams from the house he is currently investigating. The leader waves his two fingers, signaling the troops to close in. He continues down the hallway and down the narrow stairwell. The small light beaming from the pistol reveals horrid images of a single boy crying, tied up and whipped. The officer tries to avert his eyes but with each passing framed image, he sees the life of a progressively growing boy who lived a life no boy should ever suffer. _What a sick couple of parents?_

At the end of the steps, the five men pile at the wooden locked door. Trickling with the locked knob at first, the officer does a few hand signs of the plan and to turn off the flashlights, receiving sync nods from the other. He counts down with his fingers from three.

_Two._

_One. BAM! _

"Freeze! Minnesota PD! Put your hands up!" He yells. Five red lasers target the spacious room. The small rays of light from the entrance unveil snapshots of unspeakable things in the room. "Someone, find the light switch!" The other lower ranks scramble the room, feeling the walls for a switch. _Click_.

"Sick fuck!" He yells, eyes widen at the furnishings. The grey brick wall enclosed a table of leather bounds and chains, a pole with blood smeared handcuffs and other unmentionables.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Kevin?" He lifts the glass cover of his helmet to see the speaker.

"Mr. Garcia. We found two bodies, a man and a woman, hidden by the boiler. We have identified them as the Mitchells'."

"Condition?" He walks to the three cops crowding over the bodies. He shutters, the sight of dead bodies still sends chills down his spine even after twenty years in the force.

"Stab wounds to the heart." One of them points to the fireplace poker in the man's chest and a knife in the woman's.

"Search for a reason or trail of the murderer." Mr. Garcia commands, walking around the room as the other four quickly assemble their forensic gear. _Knock. Knock._ His ears perk at the faint tapping sound. It disappears but the experienced man trusts his gut feeling. "Kevin." He whispers, seeing the police stand up. He does another sequence of finger symbols, pointing to the wooden closet. The two silently pulls out their guns, flashlights off. Slowly, they creep to the closed door. Signaling a countdown, Mr. Garcia rests his ready fingers on the sliding door.

"MPD! Hands in-" He stops his lectured line, looking at the sickly, naked boy sitting with his knees to his chest in the dark cabinet. He stares into his brown eyes, wondering where he seen the boy before and then it hit him, this is the boy from all the pictures.

"Don't..." The boy hoarsely sounds before collapsing onto the police's leg. Mr. Garcia picks the fainted boy in his arms, handing his gun to his partner.

"Sir?" The cop whispers with concern to Mr. Garcia.

"Get back to work. I want to leave this place as soon as possible."

…

Back in the station, Mr. Garcia paces the long hallway, eying the naked boy through the one-way mirror. He studies the boy frightened boy has brown eyes matching his short brunette hair. His scrawny body heaves long breath, each exhale showcasing the unhealthy sharp rib bones. Luckily, he doesn't have any deep, fresh scars although in his conditions, can anything be called lucky?

"Mr. Garcia." A slightly nervous, twenty something year old lady calls, holding a clipboard to her chest. "I have the bag you wanted."

"Miss. Collin." He takes the bag, turning his head to face her. "What do you see?"

"Um…" She raises her eyebrows as if this is a trick question on a test. Just as hard and studious as Mr. Garcia, she focuses on the details of the brunette in the other room. "I see a naked man with a lot of turmoil and pain, both mental and physical."

"A man?"

"Well yes, I mean he seems like he is over sixteen." She stutters her unsure voice.

"Look again. Stare at his eyes and his hunched shoulders." She shakes her head, still confused. "That is a baby in there, afraid of the world."

"What are you going to do to him then? We have no protocols on interacting with a boy with a mentality of a baby." She asks, having only a year worth of experience interning. The tall man turns and walks briskly across her. She follows until he opens the door and walks in. She jerks back, quickly jumping to the window to observe.

"I am Mr. Garcia." He sits down, sliding the brown bag across the metallic table to the boy. The brunette finches, a mousy shriek slips from his lips as he covers his scared eyes. "Don't worry. I won't hurt you." He babies, cooing as if the boy his is own son. "Open it. Go on. Open it." He continues, inching the boy to trust him. Slowly, the boy reaches for the bag, eyes glowing with childlike happiness. He pours the content of the bag onto the cold metal table, watching the gummies bounce and the chocolates roll. The mousy shriek changes to sounds of excitement that bring a smile to the officer's face. "Logan?" He calls, reading the case files on the table. The boy looks up with his filled cheeks, a gummy worm dangling from his closed lips. The smile on the cop's face grows larger as he continues studying the boy.

"You must be cold." He points to the clothes on the floor. Logan crooks his neck. "You don't like clothes. They are good." Logan continues his stare. "Clothes keep you warm." Logan tilts his head to the other side. "Can you talk? Please say something?"

Logan smiles almost about to open his mouth until a loud slam echoes the small room. He jumps and runs to the corner, facing the vertical dent.

"Mr. Garcia! What the hell are you doing?"

"Mr. Griffin!" The Latino officer jumps to his feet, straightening his back at his boss. "Please lower your voice. Logan is shy."

"And is not a CRIMINAL!"

"Ah sir-"

"GET OUT, AMANDA!" He yells at the intern who quickly jumps back out. "Nerve of some intern to talk to me like that. People like her need to learn her place. Garcia!" He calls the distracted officer.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He turns his eyes back to his boss after seeing Logan jump at every raised voice coming from Mr. Griffin. "Sir, if I may?"

"No, you may not." The strict, strong headed boss says. "I do not want you wasting my budget on your kind-hearted quest to save everyone. Babies and kids, sure save them. That is good for publicity but an eighteen year old? THROW HIM TO THE CURVE!"

"SIR!" He yells back. "How dare you talk of him like that? He is the Mitchells' son."

"All the more reasons to throw him out. If news come that we, the police, are wasting tax payer's money on a sadists' child, we will lose our credibility and the budget."

"Who cares about the money if we don't save every tortured soul? Aye!"

"Don't use Spanish expressions with me. I will fire you!" The two of them quarrel, back and forth with raising volumes, unknowingly causing Logan to weep.

"Dad?" A short Latino boy enters the room, regretting that he did when he notice his father's face. "Sorry, is this a bad time?"

Suddenly Logan's ears perk at the soft voice and he turns his head at the young speaker. Unexpectedly, at quick speeds, he runs to the son, jumping him to the floor.

"Carlos!" Dad reaches his arm but is too late. "Wait! Shhhh. Don't shout. Logan is very fragile."

Carlos trembles, having the brunette's body resting on top of him. "Wh-what is he doing and wh-hy is he naked?" Carlos cries softly as Logan purrs lightly, beaming his hazel eye as the scared Latino. But once Carlos sees Logan's swirling big brown eyes, his body stops shaking and he lays openly for Logan.

"Frrr." Logan sounds, curling into a ball on top of Carlos' chest.

"What did he say?" Mr. Griffin yells.

"He can speak?" The dad exclaims. "What did he say? Carlos, did you hear? What did Logan say?" The dad excitedly asks.

"Logie?" Carlos says, trying to be friendly, patting his brown spikes. Logan looks up, smiling at the name and Carlos' touch. "What is frrr?"

"Friend." Logan speaks, loud enough for the room to hear. The boy rolls gently and nuzzles his dimple on Carlos' pec, enjoying his time on Carlos' chest.

"Dad?" Carlos whispers. "How am I his friend? I never met him."

"Um… I think because you're a young boy and he is a boy, Logan connects with you."

"Actually, Mr. Garcia." Amanda pops back in the room. "It's because of Carlos' sweet, angelic voice." He blushes, covering his face. Amanda blushes at her frank comment. "Sorry Carlos but Logan responded to soft voices. In the beginning your dad had a soft voice and Logan was comfortable until …" She mumbles the rest of her sentence, fearful that Mr. Griffin will fire her.

"What did you say?" The boss demands. "SAY IT!"

"You and Mr. Garcia's loud fight scared him and he ran to the only thing that he thinks can save him, Carlos." She covers her face just like Logan did, afraid of her crazy boss.

"That's it! I had it with your psychology degree, annoyance and he's got to go!" The boss yells, grabbing Logan's arm.

"No!" The boy cries, snatching back his arm. He wraps himself around Carlos; his arms encasing around his body and his legs tightly fastening around Carlos' thighs.

"Dad" Carlos cries as loudly as he can, which is practically as softly as possible because of what Amanda said about Logan and soft voices. "Logan's thingie is rubbing on my thingie."

With her eyes opening as wide as humanly possible at the sight of the two boys, Amanda covers her scarlet red cheeks and runny nose. "OH-OH GOD SEXY NO! I CAN'T WATCH THIS!" She yells, dashing from the door.

"Get him out of here!" Mr. Griffin commands Mr. Garcia. "I don't care what you do with him but he annoyed me enough for one night. Get him out and if I see you waste a single dollar of my budget on him, I will cut you from the budget, PERMANENTLY!" The stubborn boss yells, stomping out the tense room.

The father and son share a content sigh when the boss left. "Dad? What do I do?"

The dad shrugs his shoulders, kneeling down to Logan. "Logan. You have to get off Carlos." The dad gently pries.

"No! NO! Carlos! Friend!" Logan thrashes, tightening his hold on Carlos.

Carlos groans, thinking of how his night turned from visiting his dad at work to having a naked boy wrapped around him. 'Dad, he is doing it again."

"No Logan. Bad Logan. No rubbing… I can't do it." The dad throws his hands in the air in defeat. "This is so wrong because he is eighteen and you're eighteen but never mind. I have to find him a place to stay for free."

"Where?" Carlos says, patting his head again. Logan's scowl turns into a smile at the touch, purring lightly as if he is preparing to sleep. "He is so cute if you forget he is my age."

The dad watches Carlos giggling, patting Logan affectionately, as a light blub blinks on his head. "He can live with you."

"What!" Carlos yells unexpectedly loud. Logan covers his ear from the harsh word, beginning to cry. "No, no Logie. I'm sorry. See. I'm nice. I'm friend." Carlos pets his hand down Logan's bony back, realizing how lithe and skinny Logan is. _Poor thing._ "But dad. I can barely keep a goldfish alive, much less a … Logan."

"Son. Remember I love you and I rented that expensive house so you can have your 'independent' for college?" The dad sweetly asks, guilting his son.

"Yes." The son whines. "But-"

"And everyone has to do their part in helping the community? Please Car?"

"But Dad, I can't take-"

"Please Car." The father begs on his knees. Carlos sighs, knowing that his father only begged on his knees once; the only time was when he asked his mother to marry him.

"Ok papi. I'll take care of Logan." Carlos submits, agreeing to the dad. The dad jumps up. "Now, I have to figure out how to get him home without people see me carry a naked boy."

…

Luckily, the streets are empty at ten at night, allowing him to avoid an embarrassing moment of him dashing down the block with a boy in his arms. Not only would people think Goodie-Two-Shoe Carlos is not so good anymore, sneaking around in the night with a naked boy but they would think he is also a raging frat boy too. How weird would it be for him to meet his neighbor after that? But luckily, awkwardness averted and that is how Carlos wants it.

"Ok Logan." Carlos gently puts Logan's feet down in his home. He releases his arms but Logan instantly wraps his noodle-like arms around Carlos. "No, no Logan. No more hug." Logan continues his affectionate ways, opposing to Carlos' pleads. "Please Logan. I have to cook dinner."

"Dinner." Logan perks up, tilting his head again like a lost puppy. "Food?" He asks; his stomach growls and squeezes.

"Yep. I haven't eaten all day and I am starving. You like dinosaur nuggets?"

"Nuggets?" Logan repeats innocently. "Dino?"

"Don't worry. They are so good. I'll make…" Carlos stops his speech; a light blub blinks in his head now, wearing the same look his father made. "But you have to wear clothes first. Deal?"

"Deal?" Logan uses the same "I-don't-know" voice.

"I'll take that as a yes." Carlos holds Logan's hand, pulling him to his closet. "I think we are almost the same size." He throws a shirt, pant and underwear at Logan. "I know they are my boxer but-"

"No!" Logan pouts, throwing the three articles at Carlos' unamused face. "No clothes!" Logan jumps, throwing a tantrum.

Carlos slaps his forehead, the raging headache starting to form. This is not what he signed up for. "Logan. If you wear them, I will make you food. I promise to make you a lot of food."

"Promise?" Logan says, surprising Carlos. He thought the boy had limited understanding of English but maybe Logan is just shy.

"I promise."

After teaching Logan how to put on clothes, which is another hardship of its own, Carlos finishes baking the platter full of nuggets in the toaster. "I hope you are hungry." He says, placing the plate on the table in front of the clothed boy and turned to the kitchen counter for the sauce. "Because I made-" He drops the bottle of mustard onto the floor, watching Logan gobble everything in sight. Pieces of chicken fly to the edge of the table as Logan dives into the bread crumb crusted dinner. Carlos is about to yell, scold Logan but after Logan speaks, his angry suppresses.

"Thank you Carlos. This is best. Carlos' nice." Carlos chuckles, shaking his head. He doesn't quite understand it, but somehow Logan's babyish accent or his baby-like innocence stops his rage. If this was anyone else, Carlos would have exploded but Logan is different and Carlos doesn't understand it.

"No problem Logan." Carlos crawls into the chair, looking for an untouched whole piece of dinosaur for his own dinner. Logan smiles and walks around the table, taking his seat on Carlos' lap. He wraps his arms around Carlos, nuzzling his nose into his neck. "Logan, what are you doing?" Carlos squeals, never having someone climb on him during dinner.

"Hugging Carlos. Carlos is nice to me. Hug is nice. I never get hug." Logan says, causing Carlos to lower his nugget holding hand. He recalls talking to his dad on the way out that Logan is the son of two horrible parents whom beat Logan up constantly. That is why Logan is who he is, a child.

"Logan is nice too." Carlos puts down the food, wipes his finger on a napkin and wraps his arms around Logan, rocking him slowly. "I'll give you as many hugs as you want."

"Thanks Carlos."

…

"Ok, time for bed." Carlos tells Logan after giving Logan a bath; the brunette dashes before Carlos can dress him. Carlos sighs, not having enough energy to chase him after skipping dinner. He cleans the rest of the bath tub of the suds before walking to the bedroom. "Logan. Time for bed. Logan?" Carlos calls, furrowing his brows. He walks around the room, hoping the boy is not playing a game. "Logan, where are you?" _Knock. Knock._

Carlos turns and faces his closet, thinking 'no, he can't be.' Another thing he remembers is his dad saying he found Logan in a closet and that is probably where Logan slept and lived. "Logan, are you there?"

"Yes." Carlos sighs again, realizing he sighs a lot in the past evening. "I am sleeping." Logan responds to Carlos opening the door.

"Not in here." Carlos swiftly picks Logan up, one arm under his head, the other under his bottom. "You are sleeping here." Carlos gently rests Logan on his bed. "And at least wear this." Carlos begs, handing him a pair of boxer. He knows that his boxer is big on Logan but wearing something is better than nothing.

"No!" Logan yells, throwing the article back at Carlos. Carlos hands him it again with a stern face. Logan mimics and throws the underwear across the room. "No!"

"Fine!" Carlos gives up, peeling off his shirt; he normally sleeps shirtless. "But you have to sleep facing that wall. I don't want your naked body touching mine." Carlos pulls the cover over Logan before slipping in himself. Logan, against what he was told, snuggles closer. "Logan! No!" The Latino pushes the brunette to the edge of the bed. Full of shock, Logan's eyes wells up as his lips quivers. Short breaths and sounds shriek out of Logan's mouth. Carlos rolls his eyes. "Fine, you can come but no funny business." Carlos says, making Logan bounce back to his happy self.

Logan squeals sharply, waiting for Carlos to lay down. After Carlos climbs back into bed, Logan wraps his long arms around him, nesting his head on Carlos' back. "Good night, Carlos."

Carlos' lips curl even though he tries to resist it but the same something, the same somehow gets him. Why is he so easily manipulative by Logan? Ending the night with another tried sigh, Carlos turns around, facing the boy. He wraps his arm around Logan, pulling the boy toward him, their bare chests pressed against each others'. "Good night Logan."

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><p>I hope you like the first chapter. I have the whole story planned, so it should be fun to write =]. The story will build. Drama will come. And Logan will learn to trust more people beside Carlos. But one thing is unclear; will Logan wear clothes? ;]<p>

Please review. =]


	2. Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts. =] Ok, so before I continue the story, I want to say that the inspiration for the story is Mochi No Yume's story, "The Galaxy Storybook." Sadly, he deleted when he left and it was my favorite. So you might notice similar strings (small details) but concept, plot, etc is of my own. I want to honor his greatest with this =].

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><p><strong>Tweedledum and Tweedledee<strong>

Why? Why is first word Carlos thinks of waking up this morning. Normally his mind would be clouded with school, work or the typical "what's for lunch?" but today, "why" taunts him, literally. Like why is there a naked boy in his bed? Why is one of his legs clamped between the said naked boy's legs? Why is he curled up in Carlos' arms sleeping fetal position like a helpless baby when he is eighteen? And why is Carlos not freaking out?

He stares down; the placid purged lips tucked out the contours of Logan's boney face are millimeters away from his bare pecs. The ticklish, warm breaths slide down his smooth chest in the most comforting way. Why? Why is Carlos not exploding or even remotely peeved? Why is he blatantly studying the little boy when his job was just to provide food and shelter? He doesn't understand what is going through his head for the last twenty minutes of confusingly observing Logan.

"Mmm." Logan sounds, moving closer to Carlos.

"Eep!" Carlos shrieks, feeling Logan slides his leg farther through Carlos' legs, unknowingly hitting his privates with his thigh and rubbing his exposed privates against Carlos' thigh. He buries his face into the pillow, not noticing that Logan is flicking his eyes to the new morning.

"Carlos?" He yawns, poking the Latino's ribs with his boney index. "Wakey, wakey?"

"Yes, I'm awakey." The mumbled voice vibrates through the feather filled pillow. He turns his red face, seeing a bright smile on the boy who is "innocently" spooning under the sheet, wondering if Logan is "pretending" to be a victim just so he can cuddle nakedly without consequences.

"Why are you red?" Logan leans in, inches from Carlos' face and, more noticeably, his lips.

"Because I am hungry!" He tries to scoot away but Logan's adamant leg grip keeps him in place. Plus, the jerking motions Carlos makes and the full body giggles Logan rolls don't help Carlos' redden facial situation nor the situation under the cover. "Logan, I got to make food."

"But we eat." Logan's squeaks, playfully poking Carlos' nipples. The discomforted boy grabs his finger.

"Logan, we do not touch other guy's body. That is wrong." Carlos sternly addresses but Logan giggles the problem away, coiling his body. Carlos rolls his eyes. "And we didn't eat yet. You ate dinner last night."

"We ate dinner."

"Right. Now it is time for breakfast." Logan furrows his brows. "You don't eat breakfast, do you? How times do you eat a day?"

"Once, after mo… they and me play games." Logan whispers somberly as if it's a secret, the timid voice confirming Carlos' suspicion. _Those assholes!_ "If they win, I get dinner. I never win." He cries, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

A sharp pain pierces Carlos as he thinks about what horrible people Logan dealt with. Logan was beaten to death and food was the consolation prize of their sick, twisted games. And here Carlos is, getting annoyed that Logan poked his body. "Well, here you get breakfast for waking up from a good night's sleep." He wipes the round dimples of the trails. "You had a good night's sleep, right?" Logan nods, releasing Carlos from his hold. "Good, I'll make us some breakfast."

"Do I have to wear this?" Logan waves the boxer in the air like a flag, catching Carlos' attention.

"Ye… No you don't have to." Carlos wants to say yes but the moment he turns back to face him. He couldn't bring himself to deny anything from the brunette. He sighs. "For today only. You have to practice wearing clothes." Carlos groans and turns.

"Carlos?"

"Yes?" He responds to the soft voice.

"Thank you."

He does it again. With short lines, two words this time, he is able to relief any tension Carlos built up. The annoyance, the anger, the whatever, Logan can clean Carlos of all of them. "No problem."

...

"Breakfast is ready!" Carlos calls half an hour later. He finishes preparing two plates of pancakes well before Logan sits down. Hopefully, this time he can eat too. "Logan!"

The called boy dashes down to the kitchen, wearing nothing, as expected, staring at the foreign smorgasbord of puffy cakes, fruits and juices. He eyes the plate in front of Carlos, wondering how to eat it. Cutting the sweet treat into pieces, Carlos finishes dividing his pancakes into ten bite size pieces.

"Food!" Logan exclaims, figuring out how to approach the meal. He throws himself onto Carlos' lap, making him groan at the shock, and grabs one of the triangular slices. "Like dino nuggets." Logan pops one of them into his salivating mouth. He hums joys at the warm, sweet melting goodness on the roof of his tongue. "Thank you, Carlos." Logan continues throwing piece after piece into his mouth.

"No problem." Carlos says with his strained voice, holding his aching pelvis. He wants to scold the boy but that would require too much energy. It would be easier just to let Logan eat his food and starve; like yesterday's dinner.

_Ding! Dong!_ The door bell rings, surprising the Latino this early in the day. Logan continues chewing, unfazed by the sound. _Ding! Dong!_

"Shoot!" Carlos yells, quickly picking up his friend in both arms, carrying him to the bedroom. He positions Logan on his messy bed, holding his hand out to tell the boy to stay. "Logan, stay here ok? I have to get the door." Logan nods, smiling his puffy, adorable cheeks, which cause Carlos to ogle a second long than he should be.

_Ding! Dong!_

"Coming!" Carlos dashes to the front, opening the door to his guest.

"Carlos. I've been ringing for the last five minutes." His friend walks in, eyeing Carlos up and down. "Aren't you cold without a shirt? I mean I know you sleep without one but Minnesota is not the warmest state."

"I'm fine, James." Carlos briskly walks to James' side, the side closer to the bedroom door. "Wh-what are you doing here? Don't you have fun stuff to do today?"

James turns around, raising his thin eyebrows. "No, I am here to start the day with you, my best bud." James jabs Carlos' shoulder playfully before arriving at the kitchen table. "Wait. Why are there two plates on the table?"

"Um. Um. Gotcha!" Carlos rolls his head. "I knew you're coming so I made you breakfast."

"But you finished your breakfast without waiting." James skeptically states.

"I got hungry." And he still has been for the last half day. "I was so hungry that I couldn't wait for you."

"Carlos." James hammers his hands on Carlos' shoulders, wearing a smirk. "I know what is going on and I approve."

"You what?"

"I approve. You don't have to hide anything."

"Hide someone. I'm not hiding. What makes you think I am hiding someone?" Carlos speeds through his lines, his hands getting clammy and sweaty.

"I got the clues. You don't want me here, you ate, there is a full plate of food, you're naked and nervious. You're hiding a girlfriend in your bedroom and she didn't wake up yet. The bow-chick-a-bow-wow-wow must be that good?" James chuckles, walking toward the bedroom door.

"No James. I am not hiding anything. I don't have a girlfriend." Carlos jumps in front of the wooden entrance. With his strong biceps, James easily pushes Carlos to the side, turning the doorknob.

"You are hiding a secret girrr-boy..." James' eyes meet the naked boy jumping up and down on Carlos' spring bed. James' hazel pupils widen, staring at the boy and other things bouncing up and down. "What the-"

"Carlos! This is fun." Logan gleefully shouts. James slowly closes the door, staring at Carlos biting his fist tensely.

"You want to tell my about this gorgeous boy with a huge package jumping on your bed like a five year old?" James points to the closed door, where Logan would be.

Carlos exhales loudly. "Follow me." He leads James into the living room where he explains the situation of how Logan came into his life, emphasizing that they did not have sex.

"So, you did not jump that?" James asks for the tenth time, not grasping Carlos' declination to having sex with someone he just met.

"No, I didn't have-"

"Carlos!" Logan dives into Carlos' lap, folding his arms around Carlos neck, nuzzling his button nose into Carlos' jaw line. "I'm bored, can I come out?" Carlos' hands awkwardly shake, himself not knowing if he should stoke Logan's bare back or not. He blushes, stammering his lips. "Is your mouth ok?" Logan asks, poking it.

"So I'm guessing you didn't do it and he is nott an exhibitionist?" James stands up, fixing his jacket.

"Wait James!" Carlos calls, standing up as well with Logan's wrapped legs around his body.

"No, no. I don't want to intrude on your obvious 'not' doing it." James puts on his shoes and walks to the front.

"No James. I need a favor from you. Please." Carlos begs, laying Logan on his back on the long sofa. He sprints to the front of the house, grabbing James' arm. "I don't have a lot of clothes so can you give Logan some of your. I know they don't fit and mine don't either but Logan needs something until I get money to buy him clothes."

"But he is your boyfriend."

"Please Jamie. You said you need to throw some clothes anyways. And he isn't my boyfriend." Carlos begs with his pouting eyes and pouting lips and pouting-

"Ok fine! I'll help you! Geez!" James rolls his eyes. Carlos jumps with a fist in the air. "Get him dressed. I don't want the four blocks to my house to be filled with stares of 'why is James walking with a naked boy with a big-"

"Don't say it!" Carlos covers his ears, acting like he is a child; like he's Logan. James laughs. "I'll go convince Logan to follow you but be gentle. Logan is really shy and fragile"

"Geez dad! You make it sound like I am going to-"

"James! No bad words in front of him. He might pick it up and I don't want Logie to learn bad words."

"Logie?" James folds his arms, a smirk on his face. "You named him Logie like you would a puppy or a boyfriend?"

"Shut up, James. Please just help me?" Carlos begs again, running down the hallway to grab Logan and a set of clothing.

James chuckles, hearing tantrums being thrown in the bedroom; mostly from Logan yelling I don't want to go or I don't want that. "Carlos owes me."

…

"This is my room." The tall brunette announces to the trailing boy meters away. He turns around, seeing Logan tucked behind the door frame like a scared boy checking a closet for the Boogey-man. "Logan. I am not going to bite you. Just come inside." The silent boy shakes his head, thumb in his mouth. He's been like this for the four blocks it took to walk from Carlos' house, silent and fearful. He only agreed to go because Carlos promised him something about letting Logan jump on his bed or hugging of some sort. James didn't want to dive into Carlos' detail.

"Logan, Carlos told me you will behave. So come in." Logan tucks farther from the door. "Logan, if you come in and do what Carlos said, I'll tell you stories about Carlos." That perks his interest; the head pops back, eyes gleaming with curiosity. So that is how you get Logan's cooperation. James opens his drawers and the doors to his walk-in closet. "Go in and pick a couple of shirts and pants and jackets and shoes, and underwears." He whispers the last articles, sliding down at the base of the king size bed. Logan skeptically stares at the tired boy on the floor. "Shirt, three. Pants, three. Jacket, three. Do you understand?" James asks harshly, getting annoyed.

Logan steps back, biting harder on his thumb. "Carlos." He cries. James leans closer, pretty sure but wants to make sure of what he just heard. "I want Carlos." Definitely as expected. Logan is such a baby, crying for mommy Carlos.

"I will take you home to Carlos after you finished getting some clothes."

"I-I wa-want Carlos." The cries get louder and to James, more annoying.

"If I tell you a story about Carlos, will you stop crying?" James barters, fisting the strands of white fur his carpet dons. Logan sits down, crossed leg, wiping his cheeks. A smile brims the wet dimples. For a second, James mirrors the smile, unknowingly affected by Logan's charm. "Carlos is a nice friend."

"Best friend!" Logan yells for the first time he stepped into James' house. James sighs.

"Right, best friend. He once jumped into my pool in the backyard from my balcony just to make me laugh." James chuckles, the memory fresh in his head.

"Pool?" Logan creeps closer to James. "Balcony?"

James watches as Logan resumes sitting, his knees touching James' spreaded out legs. "You never seem a pool or been on a balcony?" James points to the sliding door to the side of his room. Logan crooks his head. "Never mind. Just know Carlos is a nice friend. I was dumped by a guy I really like and bad things happened." James curls his knees to his chest. "I guess after Dak, I thought nothing can cheer me up or at least make me smile. But Carlos proved that wrong. I guess I just needed a friend."

"Best friend! Carlos' best friend!" Logan says, bouncing his body. James giggles, smiling at Logan's childish behavior.

"Carlos is my best friend too." Closing the gap, Logan finally does something James thought was impossible. He's hugging him. Confused and shocked but accepting the gesture anyways, James wraps his arms around him. "What are you doing, Logan?"

"Hugging. Hugging makes me happy. James is friend now. I want James happy." James laughes. If it isn't the way his hyperactive voice squeals glee, it is the warmth Logan's body presses on him like something James can only dream of.

"Umm..." James pushes Logan back, a slightly forced grin on his face. "Um I think we should pick out the clothes, ok Logan? You want to go home to Carlos, right?"

Happily, Logan pulls James to his feet, waiting for the tall boy to lead the way. James stares at his hand for a second longer, blushing a tint of tickle-me-pink. Definitely this time, something jolts through the connected hand.

"Oh god." James whispers mindlessly to himself, breaking their hands apart. "Let's go get you some clothes."

…

_Ding Dong!_ Carlos looks up at the clock from the kitchen table. He made sure this time to eat something incase something, or Logan, will not let him eat.

"Hi Carlos!" Logan bounces into Carlos' arms, wrapping himself around Carlos like a pretzel, as usual. "James is very nice. I like James."

"That's great, Logie." The host ushers his friend and carries Logan into the living room. "Thanks a lot, James. I wish my dad gave me money to buy him some clothes but he said that he has no money after paying for my rent and stuff."

"It's no problem." James throws the two bags of clothes onto the floor, feeling a prick in his chest. Definitely, it's not a stomachache or heart burn that cause that sharp tenth of a second of pain but looking at Logan bouncing on Carlos' lap energetically does something, something strange. "A-hem."

"Oh sorry James!" Carlos blushes, peeling Logan from his body. He places Logan to his side on the couch but Logan springs back. "Logan, we have guest."

"James is best friend. And you promised to let me hug you today." Logan whines, making James feel uncomfortable and confused. It's been like this for the past few hours of picking and trying clothes. James doesn't understand what Logan is doing to him. The way he felt when Logan touched his hand or the way Logan sentimentally hugged him. Or now, how he is feeling when Logan is blatantly hopping on Carlos innocently although it seems other wise. Jealousy? Envy? Something, but James can't put his finger on it.

"Actually Carlos. I got to go." James stands up, a fake plaster of a smile on his face. "I have a ton of stuff to do and Logan can make a mess of my wardrobe without knowing how to clean up." He gives a chuckle that quickly disappears when he notices Logan nuzzling his nose into Carlos' neck, taking a long breath of his friend's natural scent.

"Are you sure? I just made dinner." Carlos doesn't register the affectionate breath taking from Logan or the lip biting from James. He just stands up automatically, pouting at his friend. "Logan would want you to stay."

That might be true if Logan responds or stops rubbing his button nose in circle on Carlos. "Nah. It's ok, Carlos. I have food at home. I'll see you soon. Bye Logan." James quickly walks, not waiting for his friend to show him the door. And just as he jumps the porch and is a block away, James leans against the nearest lamppost, clutching his chest. "Damn it." He kicks the cold air, confused at what effect the tiny brunette has on him.

...

"How was James' house?" Carlos asks Logan who's sitting in his arms again. The brunette gobbles the chicken nuggets as fast as yesterday. "Logan, stop eating so fast. That is bad for your stomach."

"But I'm hungry and Carlos cooks good." Logan turns his head, speaking to Carlos with his crumb covered lips. Carlos sighs and wipes the dirty lips with his thumb.

"Logie, it's 'cooks well' and you have to eat slowly or you'll choke." Logan swallows the heavy load in his mouth, luckily. Carlos thought he was going to have to give him mouth to mouth… and the red blush is back. "Never mind Logan, just eat one nugget at a time, ok? For me?" Carlos pleads.

"Then Carlos eats too." Logan presses the half bitten golden brown piece to Carlos' lips. "Eat it!' Logan commands. The tan boy opens his mouth, feeling Logan shoving it in forcefully. He chokes and coughs a bit. "Carlos is a good boy." The kid giggles, grabbing another dinosaur. For the rest of the meal, Logan continues the same cycle. He eats the head and stuff the rest into Carlos' unwilling mouth. Eventually Carlos smiles, thinking what's the point in resisting Logan feeding him. If Logan is happy, then he is happy. At least this time, Carlos's not starving.

...

"Time for bed, Logan." Carlos announces, finally finished dressing the reluctant boy in James' clothing. The clothes, to Carlos' expectations, are too big, like five inches too big. The hole for the head alone is deeper than any labeled "extra deep" crew neck and it was James' fitted slim shirt, sames with the pants and James' boxers; they are sagging. Everything is too big but what can Carlos do without funding? "Let's go, Logie."

"Sleepy time!" Logan runs ahead, leaving Carlos in the bathroom. The Latino groans at how energetic Logan is.

"It's sleeping time, Logan." Carlos repeats, hearing the springs of his bed creek, which means Logan is jumping again. "Logan, go to sleep."

"No! I have clothes. No sleep." Logan crosses his arms and blows up his cheeks. "No clothes."

"Logan, people have to wear clothes sleeping."

"Carlos doesn't wear shirt!" Logan hammers the blanket. "Carlos is meanie!"

"Fine Logan. You don't have to wear a shirt too."

"No! Logan doesn't not like underwear. Underwear bad!" Logan whines in a high pitch voice. Feeling tired and out of breath like a single father, which he kind of is right now, Carlos gives in and nods his head. Logan smiles, stripping away his bottom articles. "Thanks Carlos. I like you."

Carlos quickly blushes and turns around. He doesn't know why. It's not the sight of his naked friend that does it this time. For some reason, those three words did it; makes his face into a tomato. Still thinking and wiping his face, Carlos feels Logan suddenly jumping on his back.

"What are you doing?" Carlos yells, hopping foreword to catch his balance.

"Hugging Carlos' back this time." Logan innocently says. Why is everything so innocent with him? Why can't Logan see if another man of his age does the exact same thing to another man, without clothes on too, is illegal? "I like Carlos."

Sigh… There is that sentence again. And feeling Logan's squeezing his arms around Carlos' neck, the soft hairs of his head resting on his shoulder and his warm breath traveling down his bare chest alleviate his tensions again. How does Logan do this?

"Time for bed, ok Logan? Please." Carlos leans backwards for Logan to fall on the bouncy bed; a giggle erupts from Logan's lips. Carlos slips into the bed, turning off his lamp light. He scoots into the middle staring at Logan with the little light coming from the window. Stunned, he notices how beautiful Logan is with his eyes closed, on the bed, and under the heavy sheet. His dimples curl a perfect circle on his cheeks, the overbearing shirt crumples and wrinkles on Logan's form in the most adorable way and the sight of Logan not wear pant or underwear is … The terrible blush returns, making Carlos cover his face. He moans until he feels Logan rolling into his frame.

"Logan?" He peeks through his fingers, seeing Logan folding into his arms and legs. The brunette's breathing face buries into his chest.

"Carlos is sad. Logan doesn't want Carlos to be sad." Carlos chuckles, his hands fall from his face and onto Logan's sides. He gently caresses the fluid cotton sleeve before tugging the boy closer into his body.

"Carlos is not sad, not when Logan is here." Carlos babies, kissing the top of Logan's head. "Good night."

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><p>Please review =]<p> 


	3. Swimming in my Tears

Sorry that my updates are slow. I have huge school/future related issues that have to done by tomorrow. Please bare with my crazy schedule.

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><p><strong>Swimming in my Tears<strong>

"Carlos." Logan nudges the body he is lying on. "Carlos?" He pokes the cheek, playing with the pudgy dimples on the caramel, soft skin. "Carwos!"

"Mm... I'm sleeping." Carlos groans, tightening his full body hold on the pillow. He rolls his body, loving the feeling of warmth and softness the pillow provides, especially at his pelvis. He rocks and rolls his hip, enjoying the silky smoothness.

"Carlos is tickling me down there." Logan giggles. Carlos jumps up abruptly, rolling to the edge of the bed. He blushes, face completely red with both embarrassment and sad to say, arousal. Logan points to his own organ under the blanket. "Carlos... why is it-"

"OK LOGAN! I think it is time to brush your teeth." Carlos points to the bathroom door, burying his face into his pillow, the real one. God knows how red his face is picturing what Logan was about to ask him.

"But Carlos. My thi-"

"No question until after brushing teeth. I will make breakfast." The Latino jumps out of the bed, dashing straight to the hallway. He quickly slides against the wall, peeking to make sure Logan does what he is told. With an eye stealing a peek in the room, he sees Logan skipping to the small door of the marble bathroom, humming a familiar theme song. A smile brushes on his face, remembering the time Carlos used Barney, his favorite TV show as a kid to distract Logan from hopping on his lap. Unfortunately, Logan bounces more rapidly, excited from the adventures and teachings the purple dinosaur has.

But luckily Logan brushes his teeth, making Carlos smile that Logan is slowly learning what normal people do. Now if only Carlos can teach Logan that people wear clothes, sit still in a normal chair and not bounce on Carlos' lap every minute of the day.

Throwing on the random t-shirt he left on the back of the kitchen chair, Carlos scouts the refrigerator for the ingredients for pancakes. But after heavy finding, Carlos concludes that he is out of eggs, milks and butter.

"Carlos. What are you doing?" Logan says, jumping on his back. Carlos doesn't even flinch this time or blush with Logan's naked body pressing on his back. It became second nature to him although the slight tint of pink on his face can be caused by Logan's warm breath on his neck, the tightening arms around his shoulders, Logan's obsession with playing with Carlos' nipples through the thin fabric and Logan thrusting his pelvis into...

"Ok Logie! No more jumping on my back." Carlos sits him down on the kitchen chair. Logan pouts his big doe eyes, looking as if he is ready to cry. "Logan, please don't do this to me. If you cry, I will be very, VERY sad." Carlos begs, wondering again for the umpteenth time, why Logan makes him feel like he has to always please him. Why? Why does Logan, a boy, have such a control over him like a girlfriend?

"Carlos doesn't like me!" Logan cries, the high pitch voice snaps Carlos out of his thought. "Carlos is mean. Carlos no like me anymore."

"No, no! Carlos likes Logan a lot, the most." Carlos shakes his hands in front of the weeping boy, seeing the tear rolls slowing down. "Logan is the best thing that came into my life." A shock surges through his body, now wondering why he said that. It wasn't a lie but is it extreme to say Logan is the _best _thing? And yet, he doesn't think that _best _is an exaggeration.

"You mean it?" Logan weeps, sinking his host into a whole lot of guilt. Carlos groans and turns around, crouching on his knees.

"Go ahead, Logie. Hop on."

With a gleeful shriek, Logan pounces on his empty back, pointing to the living room. "Full speed ahead. Faster! Faster! Faster!"

Carlos does as he is told, making airplane sounds to fuel Logan's excitement and unexpectedly a smile grows on him. He was supposed just do this to stop Logan's sadness but now he's actually enjoying the close proximity they share.

"Ok passenger Logie. It is time for landing." Carlos points his back to the couch.

"Awww! Do I have to? I like bouncing, being on top of Carlos."

Thank god, Carlos' face is no where in Logan's sight. Logan needs to learn word choice or else Carlos will be stuck with a permanent problem down there. "Yes Logan, you have to land but I'll let you watch Barney."

"BARNEY!" Logan falls back, jumping in his seat, waiting for the TV to turn on. Carlos does so, grabbing the remote and plays the famous hyperactive show.

"Logan, I have to do some work ok? Can you promise to sit here and watch TV?"

"Promise. Go! I want Barney!" Logan shoos Carlos away, waving both of his hands, giddily bouncing on the leather couch. Carlos only laughs a smile, walking with his cellphone in hand.

"Hey James." He speaks into it softly.

"Oh hey Carlos. Umm... What's up?"

"Nothing much. Just everything is great and fun and great and hey! You want to come over?" Carlos stammers, desperate for James' help.

"Umm... I don't think I can, Carlos." James unsurely answers.

"Ok the real reason is I need you to baby sit Logan for awhile so I can run to the supermarket and buy some groceries."

_That means being with Logan, alone. _"Umm..."

"Please James. You get some alone time with Logan and I know he misses you. You're like a brother to him."

That doesn't help. For the past couple of days, James has been having mix feeling of the little boy. More and more he thinks about it, whatever _it _maybe, James feels an attraction to him. But that is wrong. That is borderline pedophilic even if Logan is technically their age and what about Carlos? His best friend seems way too friendly with Logan. Like who sleeps naked with someone and not have a physical or otherwise emotional bond with that person? And by the way Logan jumps on Carlos, that can't be all innocence and fluff. They are something.

"James? James!"

"Umm, what? Sorry Carlos. I was um... fixing my shoes closet."

"Then you have time. Please James. I don't have anyone else and you're the only one close to Logan. Give me two hours, three hours tops. I promise I will be home as fast as I can."

"Carlos, I really-"

"The friendship code. I an evoking the friendship code where you help me and I will go shopping with you. And Logan wants you. Please James."

"Fine." The brunette slaps his head, not understanding why he answers yes so quickly. Well, yes he does. Logan. Even though he can practically hear Logan giggling and laughing happily in the background, James knows Logan is happy with just a TV or Carlos' lap. But for a split second, James really thought Logan would be happy because of him. Maybe Logan wants him as much as he wants Carlos and more. "Fine Carlos, I'll do it but you owe me big time."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I don't want Logan to be alone and god knows what Logan might do if he is alone." James hears Carlos chuckling.

"No problem. Umm... I'll be over in a sec."

...

"Carlos?" James finally tip-toes into the open home after ringing and knocking the door five times. He creeps closer to the wall, the conversation between his friends getting louder with each step.

"No! No! NO!" That is definitely Logan's high pitch voice, followed by thumping sounds.

"Ow Logan! You have to be a good boy." And that is his other friend's voice. "I can't take you to the market."

"I want Carlos!" James winces, the words are haunting just as much as if Logan is confessing that he hates James. Wait. Why is James thinking this? "I want to go with Carlos." James tucks his head into the door way, observing the two. Logan is bouncing on Carlos' lap, go figure, hammering his chest with his fists. He snickers and smiles with a quick second until he realizes his enjoyment of Logan's scowl at Carlos. Why is Logan's temporary hatred toward Carlos comforting?

"Logan, you will be home with James. You like James, right?" His ears perk and his head creeps an inch into the room, waiting for the answer. With fingers gripping on to the frame and body pressing into the wall, James gets impatient from the second of wait.

"Hi guys." James dashes into the living room, having enough of the hurtful wait. He wants to believe that Logan would say yes but in the recesses of his mind, he knows Logan is saying, screaming no. Rather keeping the hope alive than hearing Logan, James had to jump in. "I hope you don't mind that I walked in. I saw that the door was open and thought why not." He gives a hard, fake laugh.

"No problem at all James. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much." Carlos frantically lays Logan onto the couch, stumbling to James. "You don't know how much I need you!"

"It's fine Carlos. I'll watch Logan while you go to the store."

"I want to go!" Logan punctuates every word, puffing his cheeks and crossing his arms. James smirks. The sight of the boy's dimples jutting out and the eyebrows connecting in the cutest way imaginable.

"No Logan please." Carlos jumps to the boy, kneeling on the floor, holding his arms; beating James to him. "Please don't be mad. I want you to go but I don't want to have you get in trouble." Logan sharply shakes his head once and holds his breath. James rolls his eyes at Carlos, thinking what a bad parent he would make. "No Logie. Don't do this to me." Carlos begs, watching Logan's cheeks turn a shade of blue. "I promise to umm, to umm... let you sleep naked tonight even though I said you have to practice wearing clothes."

The taller friend standing up shakes his head again. _Carlos is a horrible dad. __I give him a day before Logan chooses me. Wait! Again, why am I thinking this?_

"Promise." Logan finally gives in, pointing his pinky to Carlos. The Latino lightens up, links their fingers. "And I get to touch your body with my body." Carlos' body jerks a bit, his cheeks glowing with embarrassment. He doesn't want James to hear this demand nor does James want to hear it too. The brunette, even though he knows to the best of his knowledge that Logan said this with absolutely no knowledge of the meaning behind his words, bites his lips, wishing Logan is not so blunt with his affectations toward his host.

"Umm... Logan."

"NO DEAL!"

"Ok fine! Deal!" Carlos gets knocked to floor from Logan lunging himself at him. Luckily, this time Logan is wearing something or this would be just as blush inducing as in the police station.

James coughs, folding his arms and tapping his foot. Instantly, Carlos jumps up, face redder than a tomato with Logan purring, head against Carlos' burning red cheeks. "Well this is awkward." James shifts on the balls of his feet, feeling like a third wheel.

"Sorry James. You know Logan." _No I don't._ "He's likes to touch people."_ He only likes touching you, Carlos. Not anyone. Not me! Just you. _

"Completely. I know Logan." He awkwardly laughs, watching Carlos peeling Logan's arms off of him.

"Thanks again James. I really need to restock my fridge. Logan is picky. He only wants pancakes for breakfast." Carlos turns on the TV to distract Logan long enough to dash to the hallway closet. "I bet I'll be bad as a parent in the future." He laughs, hopping into his boots.

_What a horrible parent, indeed. Carlos is bad at a dad or a boyfriend. I bet I would be a better boy... wait. What am I thinking? _

"James?" Carlos waves his hand in front if his face. "I got to go so I will see you in a couple of hours?"

"Oh what? Oh yeah. Yeah, sure. Take your time. I'll make sure Logan is safe and in my arms. I mean he is safe in my hands!" James corrects himself, slapping his forehead.

"Don't worry James. I trust you." Carlos jumps the steps of his porch, grabbing his car keys from his front pocket. "Bye James."

"Bye Carlos." He whispers faintly as if he is guilty of a secret. He shakes his head of his thought, wondering why he is so messed up and why he is so uncomfortable with Carlos being so touchy-feely with a boy they both only know for four days.

He sighs and returns to the doorway of the living room. He leans on the wooden frame, watching Logan gleefully staring at the purple dinosaur on the TV screen. A smile swipes across James' lips and a content feeling breezes through his mind as if Logan can stop all negativities and just make the world happy, or at least make him happy.

He takes a seat at the opposite side of the couch to Logan, staring as intensely as Logan is watching the TV. He notes the button nose, the natural dust glowing dimples and the hazel eyes. If perfections had a son, that boy is named Logan.

"It's under the table, Barney! Look under the table." He giggles, the skin on the cheek bunching together adorably. James smiles, sliding closer.

"You sure like-"

"Shh!" Logan glares at him, a scary demeanor on his face. "No talking!"

James huffs, leaning against the sofa. He studies how engrossed the "adult" boy is to a five old's show, noticing the playful expression Logan dons. He chuckles.

Suddenly, the room turns pitch black, the TV flashes off and Logan yelps a loud scream. It takes James a full second to register the unexpected blackout before he swiftly dashes to contain the boy in his arms.

"No!"

"Logan! It's fine. It's just a blackout." Logan flails in his arms frantically, pupils dilating to the darkness. "Stop it Logan!" He yells.

"Don't hit me. You win! You win!" Logan cries.

"What are you talking about?" He feels Logan's pulsing heart beat faster, almost erratically. How can just a small blackout cause this?

"Don't tie me up, daddy."

"Logan, I'm not your dad."

The smaller brunette thrashes, pushing away from James' hold. "No daddy. I'm your son!"

"LOGAN!" James yells, hands gripping tightly on his arms. Through the limited light from the curtain and blind covered windows, James stares into Logan's overfilled eyes. "Your dad is not here."

"Carlos." The fanatic, scared boy stutters. "Carlos will save me. He will come."

"Don't worry Logan. It's just a blackout."

"Carlos!" He loudly calls, looking around in the dark with his giant eyes. "Where are you? Save me!"

"I'll save you!" James screams, lunging his face dangerously close to Logan's, forcing the kid to stare back at him. Stunned, Logan sits there motionlessly, afraid of everything. "Logan, I'll protect you. Nothing with hurt you." He whispers softly, his grips softening on the trembling shoulders. He pulls the boy into his chest, wrapping his arms around him.

"But, but Carlos is my best friend." Logan stammers against James' heart. James winces as if words can stab through.

"He is my best friend too and I promised Carlos that I will protect you." James says, unexpectedly feeling Logan hugging back. "So you trust me now?"

Logan nods, purring slightly. The soothing hums from Logan make James smile; he never heard a better lullaby in his life. "Do you want to hear a story?" He asks, not knowing why he broke this blissful silence.

"Can Carlos be in it?" Logan looks up. Again, the pain stings, cutting through like a razor blade. But Logan's soft eyes swirling in the faint light melt away James' feelings, suppressing his surface depression.

"Sure." The weak answer makes the boy giddy, bouncing on the same cushion with James. The pretty brunette smiles, thinking that with the vibrating of their seat, maybe this is how it feels when Logan bounces on Carlos all the time.

"Three years ago, I found out I like boys the way I'm suppose to like girls and my so called friends didn't take it well. They called me fa-" James coughs, remembering Carlos said not to use "bad" words. "Mean things and they were supposed to be my friends."

"They aren't your friends."

"No. They aren't but they are all I had. I was fat and ugly three years ago. They always beat me up because I am fat and unpopular. So being gay is like having a sign saying beat the shi.. poop out of me." James breathes a deep breath, the flashes of memories coming back to him. Suddenly, a pair of arms brushes around his waist and a head perches on his chest. James cracks a grin and hugs.

"I'm not fat or ugly but my daddy and mommy beat the poop out of me." Logan cries. "I don't know what unpoop-u-ler is but I don't think I have it but my daddy and mommy beat me up too."

James rubs his back in circles, feeling the trembles. "I'm so sorry, Logan. I didn't mean to make you cry too. You should not be sad. Everything turned out fine. You have a house to call your home. You have food and you have friends. Don't cry, ok?"

"You too." Logan responds, looking up. "If I don't cry then Jamies, you don't cry. Deal?"

James chuckles happily that Logan is striking a deal with him. "Deal. I won't cry."

"Good but Jamie?"

"Yea?"

"I want a story with Carlos." James wants to groan but Logan's soft voice subdues his surfacing emotion.

"Why do you want a story with Carlos so badly?" James jokingly rustles his head of hair, matting the silky spikes. Logan laughs it off.

"Because Carlos saved me like in the happy stories. The prince saves the princess from the evil stepmother. Carlos saved me from my evil mommy."

"Sounds like Carlos is perfect."

"Yep. That is why Carlos is the hero in all of the stories in the whole big world."

To that, James couldn't contain his laughter. His grin grows. "You are cute, Logan. But don't worry, Carlos is the prince in my story too. No one wanted to be my friend and every single friend I had thought if I am gay then I might be in love with him or want to do make up or girly stuff with her. No one cared about me until Carlos found out that I am gay. I didn't want to tell him because everyone else hated me so I didn't want to lose my only friend. But one day, Carlos came over and saw me crying on the porch."

"But James said he won't cry."

"Wait Logan." James rustles his hair again. "I won't cry, I promise. Back to the story, Carlos just stared at me and I knew I was losing my last and only friend but Carlos said 'I know and I don't care.' He hugged me and gave me a cake, his famous five layer cake."

"What is that? It sounds weird." Logan makes disgusting expressions, scrunching his face.

"No, it was the best dessert I ever had. It's like five pancakes with a layer of strawberry jam, blueberry jam, cherry jam, ice cream and whipped cream. It was the best cake I ever had. Carlos is my prince."

"Can I some five layer cake?" Logan abruptly asks. "I want pancake cake!"

"No Logan. I tried getting Carlos to make me his famous cake but he said his five layer cake is for when I am feeling really down. He doesn't make it anytime actually; I've only had it once."

"Aww, I don't get cake." Logan whines softly into a silent yawn. He blinks numerously, nesting his head into James. "I'm sleepy."

"Then sleep, Logan." James offers, letting Logan climbing on to his lap. He wraps his long arms around him, letting Logan curl himself into a ball. "I'll wake you up when the prince comes home." He chuckles, noticing Logan is already fast asleep in his arms.

Blissfully, James coddles him, taking in the warmth from the tiny boy. He watches the dimples swirl on the pale cheeks; even through the pitch darkness, Logan looks god-sent. For the next hour or so, James just watches him, forgetting the time, forgetting where he is, and understanding more about himself, he's falling for Logan. Blushing from the realization, James covers his face into the said boy's soft hair; wrong move. It soothes him, the shampoo's "calm water rush" fragrance. He doesn't get this sensation when he hugged Carlos. The Latino in his arms, wearing the same scent never affected him before like with Logan.

He stays still; time lost in his thoughts of what may be and what comes of it. Unexpectedly, the lights flickers back on and the chirps of digital clocks and TV stir the sleeping boy. Logan moans, worming in James' lap.

"Hi Logan." James whispers into his ear. "You had a good nap?" Logan nods lethargically before looking up with his brown eyes.

"Thanks James." Logan says, content returning to his once tear stained face. "I was scared but you protected me. Thank you." Logan adds, making the widest grin possible and his dimples as big as the world.

"No problem, Logan." James whispers, still mesmerized by the boy's innocent face and the wafting smell of the calm ocean. Unknowingly, James starts tilting his head down, inching closer to Logan's face. He doesn't wonder, doesn't care about Logan's confuse stare, just acting on the pure wants of claiming the boy's lips. Another inch closer and James can taste the sweet breath; so close to ravaging.

"Hey guys!" Carlos yells, walking toward the living room. James snaps back, blushing while Logan lights up gleefully. The boy stammers off of James' lap, dashing as fast as he can to capture Carlos in a hug. "Whoa Logan! I was only gone for two and a half hours." Carlos chuckles, feeling Logan tightening his hold.

"I was scared of the dark and now Carlos comes to save me."

"The dark? What happened?"

"We had a small blackout. It wasn't long but Logan had flashbacks and started to panic." James explains, brushing the wrinkles off his shirt. He somberly watches Logan nests his head into Carlos' chest the way he's supposed to do with James' chest.

"There wasn't a blackout at the store. I guess it was only this block. Are you ok, Logie?"

He nods against the hoodie Carlos' wearing. "James protected me. He promised to protect me from my mommy and daddy." James looks up from his position, surprised at his answer. "James made me happy." James lightly chuckles, rubbing his nape.

"James is a good friend." Carlos wraps his arms under Logan's thighs, hoisting him into their usual position of Logan wrapped around his front, cheeks rubbing against one another. "Why don't I make you my five layer cake? I bet you will love it."

"But Carlos." Logan pulls his head back, pouting at Carlos. "James said you only made it when he is sad."

"Well this time I'll make it for my Logie." He inadvertently answers with hints of strong affections, making James' stomach churn.

"Hey Carlos. I think I am going to head home. I have... stuff to figure out." He drags the sentence monotonously; the emotional nausea intensifies with Logan returning his head to Carlos' shoulder, caressing his cheek on Carlos'.

"Are you sure? It's your favorite and I rarely make it." James shakes his head, thinking that Carlos would make it again even if he said he isn't but it won't be for him, it would be for Logan. And it hits him; the realization. Carlos likes Logan and Logan likes Carlos. The uneasy nausea hits even harder now.

"I'm sure. I need to go. Bye Carlos. Bye Logan." James lingers his words, speaking them to the back of Logan's head, hoping Logan would turn around and prove him wrong, that Logan likes him more, but that doesn't happen. So James runs to the door faster than Carlos can say bye.

"Thanks James." Logan waves to the empty hallway, head still attached to Carlos'. "I want five pancake cake!" Logan bounces his pelvis against Carlos, causing the Latino to moan and forget about James' abrupt exit.

"Logie. Stop hopping. Only good boys get cake."

"I am a good boy. I am your good boy." Carlos groans again but waddles to the kitchen.

"If you keep says things like this, James will think things about us."

"What things?" He asks, sways his hips, making Carlos blush.

"Ne-never mind. Let's just make the cake."

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><p>Please Review =]<p> 


	4. Humpty Dumpty

Thanks for being patient with my updating.

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><p><strong>Humpty Dumpty<strong>

_"Time for bed," Carlos tells the boy after wiping him dry with a towel and dressing him in a fitted pajama, even though he knows Logan is just going to rip it off in the bedroom anyways. _

_It's been a routine for the two over the last few days. Logan would giggle as Carlos tickles him into the two-piece night wear. Then the Latino would give a stern face, pointing his straight finger at Logan's chest like an authoritative parent. Logan ceases his laughter, waiting for Carlos to say the three words, "time for bed." That is his signal for Logan to dash to the bedroom, to rip the clothes off and to jump on the bouncy spring bed. _

_It, even though Carlos knows if he ever ran around naked or jumped on a bed would end with him getting grounded, brings a smile to his face. He doesn't understand why rules don't apply to Logan but watching Logan being happy is more than enough to keep him happy. _

_"Are you dressed for bed?" Carlos asks as he walks into the room, knowing certainly that the boy is naked. _

_"Who is this?" Logan shoves a wooden picture into Carlos at the doorway. It takes him a second but he instantly realizes the picture Logan is pressing into his face. _

_"Where did you get that?" Carlos yells, grabbing the memory from Logan's fingers. He clinches his teeth, face turning a deep red at an alarming rate. _

_"Um..." Logan pouts, sensing he did something wrong. "There." He points to the open night stand drawer._

_"Who do you think you are, going through my stuff? This is private." Carlos slams the picture in, scaring the brunette with the loud noise. _

_"Sorry." Logan plays with his fingers. "You look very happy with the girl and I wanted to know." _

_"Logan. This isn't your business to know." Carlos yells, fixing the knocked over contents. "This isn't even your home. You can't go through my stuff, do you understand?" _

_Logan shifts his exposed toes against the rough carpet. _

_"Do you understand me?" Carlos yells once more; this time Logan nods. "Good. Now go to sleep." The angry owner throws off his shirt and crawls under the blanket, staring at the petrified boy, who looks like he is about to break down into tears in seconds. "Go to bed."_

_"Sorry, Carlos." Logan fearfully grabs the pajama shirt off the floor and throws it on. He walks into the bed, curling his body and legs into a ball, waiting for Carlos to react. Luckily Carlos wraps his arms around his frame instead of the slap Logan dreadfully feared. "Good night, Carlos."_

_Consumed with his anger, Carlos doesn't answer back._

_..._

Rustling, Carlos groans on the cold sheet his body rolls onto. He blinks, steadily opening his lazy eyes to the green printed wall. He shakes his head, noticing he is on at the left side of the bed where Logan normally is sleeping or was sleeping. The empty space has an indent of the boy's figure and the gray fitted shirted Logan wore is messily placed on the pillow.

He checks the side fixture alarm clock before he groans again; six thirty A.M. Who would wake up at this time? It's too early for anyone to function or too late for party goers to stay out but seeing his friend is up, Carlos thinks he might as well start breakfast.

"Logie, go brush your teeth!" He screams in his surprisingly quiet home. He ignores the tranquility, thinking finally after last night's happening Logan needs to learn his place in his home. "I'm going to make pancakes."

No answer. Now it starts to concern him. Pancakes are Logan's favorite. The boy can eat two plates full of the fluffy dish, sometime stealing Carlos' meal just because of his affinity for them. Something is wrong.

"Logan, where are you?" He calls, walking through the various rooms. He isn't in the kitchen waiting for the food, the bathroom brushing his teeth or even in the living room after Carlos taught him how to turn on the TV. The boy is no where to be found and it is scaring him. "Logan, if this is a joke, ha-ha! You win! Now come out."

His heart beats faster, arms spazzing with nerves. "Logan! I'm serious. Where are you?" His tan skin flushes a pale complexion as he rechecks closets, empty rooms and the front porch. It is then he concludes Logan left, hopefully not too long ago or maybe Logan ran to James for something, maybe to return clothes. That's a possible reason. Yes, Logan is returning clothes so he can be naked. That is right.

"Come on James, pick up." Carlos taps his foot impatiently after just the first ring.

"Hello?"

"James!" Carlos screams into the phone as soon as he hears a sleepy moan. "Is Logan with you? Please tell me he is with you. He has to be with you. Is he there?"

"Carlos, it's like six thirty in the morning."

"Is he there?" Carlos yells into the phone, annoyed with his friend.

"No, he is not here."

Carlos slaps his head, even though he expects as much that Logan is not to be there.

"He isn't with you?" Carlos hears his friend rustling out of bed, putting clothes on.

"No. I woke up and, and he was gone." Carlos says, folding his hand on his sweaty forehead; a few random strands of raven hair stick to the skin.

"Why did Logan leave like that? Isn't he happy living with you?" James asks.

"Well, yesterday I know I shouldn't have but I yelled at him." Carlos whispers, guilt and blame filling his thoughts. "It's my fault, James. It's all my fault that Logan ran away."

"No it isn't." James comforts even through Carlos knows his friend blames him a bit if not for the whole problem. "Give me five minutes and I'll be over. Get your bike ready and meet me outside. We will find him. Don't worry."

"Ok, thanks James."

...

Riding his way down the short path, James couldn't help but think of how callous Carlos is; how thoughtless and cruel he is for yelling at a poor baby. If he was in the same situation he would never yell at the boy. Even though James had no idea what sparked the problem, he is sure one hundred percent, he would never do anything to stress Logan.

Slowly, Carlos' house comes into view, the said boy straddling his bike ready to go.

"Thanks James. I don't know what I would do without you." Carlos smiles, tightening his helmet on his head. James nods.

"That's fine. So how should we do this?"

"Well Logan is naked so we have to find him fast before anyone sees him. I don't want to explain to my dad or to the neighbors why I have a naked boy running around."

James crooks his eyebrows judgmentally. He couldn't help it but blame Carlos more for causing the helpless boy to run in the cold state. Thank gosh that the weather today is warmer than usual.

"I think we should split up and meet at the park. Logan is shy of people so he should be hiding in open, empty places and hopefully not in other people's homes."

James nods, agreeing with his plan. "I take left and you take right?"

"Ok. Keep your phone on in case I call." Carlos commands, preparing his foot on the petal. "And James?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks for being my best friend. I really need you this time." James smiles, guilt clouding him for thinking Carlos is careless or a horrible for losing Logan. He shakes his head.

"You can thank me later when we find Logan. So go now!"

And with that, both boys diverge in opposite directions, eyes focusing on places Logan could hide his lithe body in. Carlos speeds, eyes shaking as fast as his trembling hands firmly grasping the handles. He bites his lips, knowing if he opens his mouth a slew of yelling will erupt, waking the whole neighborhood.

The park was thirty minutes away from his house by bike therefore Carlos believes that Logan could not have ventured that far. They only went to the playground once, a couple of days ago but Logan couldn't have remembered the directions on how to get there, can he? Carlos starts sweating beads, wanting to deny Logan's intelligence but he knows Logan is smarter that what he is perceived to be no matter how innocent and young at heart Logan is.

...

_Walking through the mall, Carlos has a couple extra tens he is willing to spend on buying clothes that would fit Logan. He thinks that maybe the reason for Logan's aversion toward being dressed is because the clothes don't fit. _

_The mall is not too crowd, a couple of high school kids here and there but with the college vacation still in effect, mostly the mall remains scarce. Looking at the various stores for places that would sell clothes to fit Logan's size, extra slim and tall, Carlos loses track of where the boy is. _

_"Logan!" He calls out once, back tracking his way down the hall. Luckily, Logan has not traveled too far away, stopping at the pet store. Carlos observes with his face scrunched, wondering what the boy is doing. "Thank God I found you."_

_Logan pouts, eyes welling with tears. He stares through the clean, glass window at a puppy running in circle, chasing his wagging tail. Reaching out for the dog to only be stopped by the dense hard glass, Logan sniffles. _

_"Logie, are you ok?" Carlos asks, slouching down to Logan's level. _

_"He's sad." Logan declares, lips quivering. Carlos takes a second look at the animal, noticing the brimming smile on the golden miniature dog. _

_"No he isn't Logie. Look. He is smiling, having fun." _

_"He's in a cage." Logan cries. "He is sad. His parents hate him and left him in a dark cage." _

_"Logan." Carlos says softly, pulling Logan's head away from the shop. He forces Logan to stare at him. "His parents didn't hate him. Look, he is happy."_

_"No! He is sad. His parents locked him up and beat him. He is sad. That is why he is locked in the cage." _

_The pain throbs in his chest, knowing exactly what Logan is talking about; Logan's projecting his inner pain. "Logan, do you know what this is?" _

_Logan takes a look at the store sign before shaking his head no. _

_"This is a pet store where people buy puppies and take care of them, making a new friend." _

_"But Doggy doesn't have a family. He doesn't have one for a long time."_

_"He does now." Carlos squeezes Logan's hand. "Logan. You are my Doggy . I will take care of you and become your best friend. I will make you happy because you make me happy."_

_"Thanks Carlos." Logan grins, taking a peek at the cheerful animal. "Carlos? Can we buy Doggy? I don't want clothes. I want Doggy." _

_Carlos grits his teeth at the pout, wanting to say yes but knows he can't. "I'll tell what. I will buy you a dog but not a real dog. But you can still hug it and play with it, ok?" _

_Instead of answering, Logan throws his arms around Carlos in a tight embrace. "Thanks Carlos. I get a new friend?" _

_"Sure Logan." Carlos smiles, caressing his back as he tilts his head down into the crook of Logan's shoulder. Suddenly, he blushes, noticing something about the boy. Through his loose, oversize jeans, Carlos realizes Logan is not wearing underwear; those round curves sticking out at him as clear as day. _

_Quickly, Carlos breaks from the hug. "Co-come on Logan. We have to buy you some clothes." Carlos directs, walking awkwardly like a penguin from his suddenly tightened and filled pair of skinny Jean. "Come on Logan, before someone sees us." Carlos mumbles the last part. Logan giggles, observing Carlos' waddle. Not caring why Carlos is walking this way in the first place, he copies him, waddling excitedly. _

_"Carlos is funny."_

_..._

Dodging the trees and mailboxes, Carlos speeds faster. Every second of not see the little brunette hurts more than the last; the thought of losing his friend after that memory makes his emotions more unbearable.

He holds his tongue, wishing he can just shout out that he is sorry and just wants Logan back until he finally reaches the park, seeing a pale body scaling a tall oak tree.

"Logan!" Carlos calls, catching the said boy's attention. Logan, frighten and surprised, climbs faster, hugging the trunk for support. Carlos jumps off of his bike.

"Carlos!" The Latino turns his head to his left, watching his other friend jump off of his bike.

"Logan is in the tree." Carlos runs towards his tall friend. "He can fall."

"We have to get him."

"No!" Logan yells as the two boys walk closer to the base. "I don't want to come."

"Logan, that is not safe. Please come down."

"No!"

"Please come home."

"I don't have one." Logan whimpers, making Carlos twist in pain. "Carlos does not like me."

"I'm sorry, Logie!" Carlos cries. "I am very sorry, Logan. I didn't mean to yell at you. I was just mad and I didn't want anyone to see that picture. But you mean more to me than that picture. Please come home."

"No!"

"I promise never to yell at you again. I promise to be your best friend. I'll make you pancakes everyday and my five layer cake whenever you want. Please Logan." He begs.

"No!"

"Logan, please." James joins. "I promise to play with you more and make you happy. Just come down before you get hurt."

"No!"

"I promise to be your family!" Logan opens his clinched eyes. "I am your family. I care about you. I know I am not your mom or your dad but I will never hurt you. I will never make you sad. You are my family."

"You mean it?" Logan whispers silently but Carlos can read his lips.

"Yes! We are a happy family. You, me and James. We are the best family and ... and I will never make you sad again!"

Logan calms down, his arms loosening around the rough bark.

"That's good, Logie. Just come down slowly." Carlos coaches, watching Logan descending slowly until his hand slips. "Logan!" Carlos calls, watching the body fall.

James freaks out. "Carlos, run! You're closer!" The Latino sprints foreword, dashing as fast as he can, using Logan's cry as his motivation to move faster.

And the falling boy cries loudly, his eyes shut close as his limbs flail in the air. "Save me!" He cries, seeing the darkness of his closed eyelids until he feels the impact of something hard beneath him, knocking him unconscious.

...

Twitching and blinking, Logan gradually opens his heavy eyes. His pupils adjust to the dim light in the room. He feels around, the softness beneath him and a warm source to his side. He tries to sit up but the warm source moves with him, pulling him back down.

"Just, just lay down with me." Logan recognizes the voice, forming the body in his faint eyes.

"Ca-Carlos?"

Shh. Please don't talk." Carlos whimpers almost as softly as a baby's cry. "You've gone through a lot this morning and I can't let you get hurt anymore."

Logan shifts on the bed, his eyes fully accustomed to the light. He notices his tall friend sitting in the seat next to Carlos. "James?"

"Shh Logan." James repeats with a finger to his own lip. "Just get some rest. You must be tired."

Logan nests his head into the pillow, stiffening a couple of tears.

"No, no Logie. Please don't cry. James and I are here for you."

"I am a bad friend." Logan stutters. "I made Carlos mad. I made James sad. I am bad."

"No, no Logie. You are not bad. This is what friends and family do." Carlos solaces.

"No. Go-good families don't make each other sad or mad."

"No, but good families worry about each other." James adds, taking a seat on the bed. "We worry. We care for you, Logan. That is what families do. We want you to be safe and happy."

"You promise you are not sad, Jamie?"

James laughs at the nickname, knowing Logan is getting better. "I am never sad because of you. You make me happy."

Logan smiles until he turns to face Carlos; the grin falling from his lips. "Do you not like me anymore, Carlos?"

"I always like you, Logan."

"Are you mad at me?"

Carlos thinks for a second, remembering the picture. "No. No I am not mad anymore. This is your home now and I want you to feel welcome. I would miss you too much."

"Miss?"

"That is when you want someone but the person is not with you anymore." James defines. "I will miss you too."

"Miss me?"

"Don't ever run away from me again, ok Logan?" Carlos pulls the boy in closer, his head nesting in Logan's hair. "Everyone will miss you. I'm not happy if you run away from me again."

"I will miss you, too." Logan cries. "I promise to never run from you again, Carlos. I will miss you."

"Hey, hey. Don't cry, Logan." Carlos scoots back, reaching under the pillow. "You know who else will miss you?"

"Who?" Logan asks before glee and surprise wash over his face. "Carlitos!" He grabs the hidden dog shaped doll from Carlos' hands and coddles it against his chest, squeezing tightly.

"Carlitos?" James snickers at Carlos. "He named it after you?"

"Carlitos, I miss you." Logan interrupts Carlos before an explanation is given. He wiggles closer to Carlos, resting his naked body in Carlos arms. "Carlitos wants to hug his family."

Carlos chuckles, wrapping his arms around both of them. James sighs silently, standing up from the bed. He watches the two and the doll like a fourth wheel, unwanted and distanced. He blinks the collecting tears back in his eyes as he slowly backs away to the door.

"Um... I guess I'll be going." James says questioningly, hoping his friends would see him but they don't. He sighs again, leaving the house and leaving Carlos to cuddle in bed with the one he wants.

* * *

><p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I hope to post the next chapter soon.<p>

Please Review =]


	5. Off With His Lips

I know a lot of people won't like how this chapter ends but trust me. Read the A/N at the end for details. I don't want to spoil.

And I know a lot of people are asking about Kendall. Kendall is my hero of this story. He is very important and same as all good hero, Kendall will come at the darkest or when he is most needed. Please be patient. Kendall will save the day. ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Off With His Lips<strong>

"Logie, come back." Carlos whines, a towel in one hand and a pair of Speedo in the other. "You have to wear this if you want to come with me to the beach."

"No underwear!" Logan screams, jumping on his bed without clothes on. Carlos groans, wishing he did not oblige to soaking the boy's pancakes with maple syrup. He basically gave hyper juice to a hyper boy. It's seven in the morning and Carlos barely has enough energy to stay awake let alone control his roommate.

"Logan. This is not underwear. It's loose and stretchy. It won't feel bad to your... thingie." Carlos babies, holding the stripe bottom and pulls on the elastic band for Logan to see. Logan shakes his head, huffing loudly.

Carlos tries to convince him again until he feels his phone vibrating. "Hello, dad," he greets, siding on the edge of the bed.

"Hola hijo. How is everything going? I hope Logan isn't too much to handle."

"No, Logan's-" He stops midway, feeling Logan stepping on his lap. The brunette plots himself down, balling up with his cheek nesting in his neck. He purrs, rubbing his soft nose into Carlos' adam's apple. "He-he's great."

The blushing Latino peels the phone from his mouth and stares at Logan. "Logie. My dad is on the phone," he whispers as if Logan is a secret boyfriend he's trying to hide. "You can't make weird sounds. My dad will think bad things."

"Carlos."

"Yea, dad?" Carlos returns his attention quickly to his dad's voice. Logan shrugs off the warning, continuing to purr against Carlos' and playing with the hem of Carlos' shirt.

"Did you buy a cat?"

"What! No! You know I can barely keep a fish alive. How can I raise an animal?" Carlos counters, failing to push Logan off of his lap. The brunette has a tight hold on Carlos' belt, yanking and trying to pull it off. "Stop pulling on my belt."

"Underwear is bad."

"I'm not taking off my clothes."

"Hijo! What are you doing?" His father yells into the phone. "I can't believe you're in bed with some strange woman while Logan is somewhere in the same house. Do you know how fragile a kid's heart is if he sees you doing the deed with some girl? I thought I raised you better than that."

"Dad, stop yelling at me!" Carlos stops his attempts, letting Logan do whatever he wants. The smiling brunette balls Carlos' shirt, playing with the wrinkles as he brushes up and down the ridges of Carlos' abs. Carlos sighs lethargically, thinking if he should just cancel going to the beach. "I am not doing 'the deed' dad. I'm not even dating. _Someone_ is trying to rip my clothes off because he doesn't like clothes."

"Oh, sorry hijo. I forgot that you been alone and dateless for a long time since that, that girl I can't remember." Carlos rolls his eyes, not knowing if this is his father's way of saying Carlos is forever alone or his father is horrible at apologizing to his lonely son.

"Dad, don't you have work to do?" Carlos asks, stoking down Logan's bare back. Soon, he tenses, dropping his frozen hand and realizing he's enabling Logan's cat-like behavior. "Why are you calling so early in the morning?"

"Well, I just wanted to say I got this famous doctor specialist from New York to diagnosis Logan for free."

"That's perfect! When is she or he going to be here?" Carlos says excitedly, getting up from the bed with Logan strapped to his waist. He paces the floor happily, bouncing the boy in hand until he again realizes that he is instinctively giving into Logan's wants. He returns to the bed, trying to pry the boy off.

"In two weeks."

"Two weeks!" Carlos yells, eyes bugging from the news. "That is fourteen days away. Why can't the doctor be here sooner?"

"Because she is going to Minnesota on vacation and this is the only way I can get a doctor for free. You know Griffin will fire me if I use his budget to fly a doctor here." Carlos groans, shaking his head.

"Is Carlos sad? Logan pouts, wrapping his arms under and around Carlos' waist. The warm sensation of Logan's arms soothes Carlos' momentary annoyance. Carlos chuckles, returning his free hand to fondle Logan's back.

"Never mind dad. Umm, just call me when the doc has time to come over to check on you know who. I can take care of things for the next couple of weeks."

"That is great, hijo. Thanks for the help. I know this is a big responsibility but thank you for stepping up and being a man."

"Yea, yea. Thanks dad."

"Well, I'm still proud of you. Anyways, I got to go back to work. I have the morning shift and I took too much of your time and my break. Adios hijo."

"Bye dad." Carlos tosses his cellphone to the side, turning his eyes to meet the innocent brown ones staring at him during the whole conversation. "What are you doing, Logie?"

"Hijo is so funny." Logan repeats, snickering at the Spanish word. "Can I call you hijo, too? Are you my hijo?"

Carlos bursts into laughter, falling back on the bed with Logan fastened onto his body. "Hijo means son in Spanish, Logan. I'm not your son but I am your amigo."

"Amigo?"

"That's friend in Spanish like James is your amigo and you're his amigo." Carlos clarifies, rolling Logan off of him; luckily Logan is engrossed in learning the Spanish words that he loosens his hold. "Now, Logie. Put this on, please."

Logan grunts but takes the small short. "Only because you're my amigo."

The alarm clock strikes seven thirty in the morning and James is not prepared to leave. He didn't apply his skin care regimen yet, his daily hair care routine and mentally, he's just not ready. Sure the guy is shimmering like a full moon with his biceps perking out of his sleeveless tank but one look into his eyes and anyone can see the anguish and the unwanted feeling of going to the beach. And the fundamental reason to all of this points to the small boy going to the beach with him, Logan.

Logan, with his innocence and pocket size body, charmed the vain pretty boy of every kind of emotion. James thought that after his multiple break ups, that he will never fall in love again; the pain of falling grows with each failure. But here is Logan, the sweetest boy in the world. The small baby barely understands the world and what it means to be a heart-breaker. Logan would and is the perfect choice for a boyfriend. He will never hurt James like the many heartless jerks James dated. But there's one problem, Carlos.

It's not that Logan is in love or is even remotely romantically involved with Carlos, maybe, but it's the way Carlos is with him all the time. Carlos lets him bounce on his lap, purr against his cheek, and lets Logan sleep naked with him with legs entangled no doubt. It's the things boyfriends, really close boyfriends do. Carlos can say that he is not in love with Logan but his actions say otherwise. There has to be chemistry between them and who is James to go in between and steal Logan? That is no better than the guys that cheated on James. _Why is everything dealing with Logan so hard?_

_Ding! Dong!_ The doorbell breaks James of his thought. He blinks a few, grabbing the nearby beach bags and dashes to the door.

"James!" Logan throws a hug at James' opening body. The taller brunette blushes, noticing the oversize T-shirt Logan is wearing and creamy white exposed back.

"Hey Logan. You're not wearing..." James looks down, the extra large shirt completely covering his tiny swimwear. You're not wearing pan-"

"Don't say the P word!" Carlos yells out the window from his car. "It's took me a long time to get him into it and if you say the P word, he might peel it off." James chuckles, locking the door behind him.

"This is going to be fun-ish." He whispers to himself, letting Logan drag him to Carlos' car.

…

The beach is roughly an hour and a half away from where they live. Technically, it's not a beach as it is a lake but the shore line of the lake is so sandy that the residents all call it a beach. Also, the environment is so different from the typical Minnesota conditions that a tourist would object that this is even remotely near the cold state. The beach is located in a low elevated region where the cold Minnesotan wind won't reach and the warmth of the geothermic springs keeps the surroundings at a nice eighty degree, perfect for beach weather. Luckily, even though it's winter, today the sky is cloudless, letting the sun peek at the warmth loving boys.

"We are here" Carlos eagerly announces as the three boys exit the vehicle.

Logan, awestricken, turns in circles, taking in the scenario. There are the trees to the back, still evergreen despite the season, the clear freshwater lake in front and the open sandy space for the boys to do anything and everything that they desire. "Wow," he sounds before pouting at Carlos with his big eyes.

Carlos sighs and smiles. "Go ahead." The boy wastes no time ripping the large shirt off and running down to the unfamiliar but tranquil land. Carlos shakes his head, picking up the dirtied shirt. "Logan is a handful." Carlos laughs jokingly to James.

"Yea. I bet I'll go crazy living with Logan; feeding him, taking care of him, watching TV with him in my arms, holding him at night…" James stops, realizing he's rambling truthfully instead of with a sarcastic tone like his friend. "Psh! Logan is a hassle that I would never want in my life." He laughs exaggeratedly, trying to mask his slip up.

"I guess, but..." He shrugs his shoulders, grabbing a couple of lawn chairs and the ice box of drinks. "But don't laugh ok? I kind of like holding Logan. He is so warm and soft and good. I don't know how to explain it but holding him, him in my arms, I just feel good like I can get over her and start letting people back into my life. I'm probably rambling but I think having him in my life really helped."

James faintly smiles thinking the same thing. Ever since Logan came into his life, James feels like he's different. His lost feeling of never letting someone in is gone and the new feelings of being, truly wanting to be with someone takes its place. It's Logan. The tiny brunette changed him, making him fall in love, making him feel better.

"No. I get what you mean." Carlos looks up through his wayfarers. James stares down at the beach, watching a tiny boy testing the cold water, jumping every single time the water waves on to his toes. He chuckles wholeheartedly. "Logan does that. He breaks down walls and makes you realize that love is not impossible. That there is someone special out there so you have to take risk and open up." James adds, continuing his gaze at the brunette dancing with the wave. He smiles, the innocence Logan is showing causing his mind to brim with content feelings.

"Yep. The kid does that." Carlos grunts, lifting the beach supply. James dashes to help, grabbing the chairs hooked in his arms. "Thanks James. But yea, Logan has this innocence and purity about him that shows that the world isn't as bad it seems. He's pretty amazing." Carlos laughs, putting down the beach ware on the sand.

"Carlos!" Logan runs to them and pulls on Carlos' tank top, stretching the fabric.

"Logan. You're going to rip my shirt." Carlos peels it off, his skin glowing a natural tan gold. His muscles are all made in the right way; biceps mountainous on his sturdy arms, eight abs stacking deep ridges down to a strong V, and pectorals perfectly firm and round. He slips on his white wayfarers, handing Logan a pair of black one.

"Cool makers!" Logan excitedly jumps onto Carlos' tone, worked out chest, sliding the pair on his face. "We look alike." Logan wraps his arms around his neck, trying to headbutt glasses with Carlos'.

"Logan. We can't do this here." Carlos tries to put him down. "Come on Logie. There are people here."

"But Carlos is pretty and is hard." Logan squeezes one of Carlos' pectorals.

James burst out laughing, falling onto the ground and kicking the sand. "Oh my god Logan! Carlos is definitely hard but you're not grabbing the right parts."

"James!" Carlos yells, giving him a deathly stare. "What did I say about saying those stuff in front of Ogan-lay?"

"I don't remember. What did you say, Logan?"

Logan, instead of repeating, jumps off and grabs James' right wrist, thrusting it over Carlos' nipple.

"Logan!" Carlos shrieks, squirming but Logan adamantly keeps James' hand in place. "Stop it!"

"Squeeze it, James!" Logan laughs, grabbing the other one.

"Umm..." James blushes, stoned frozen. He didn't expect Logan to be _this foreword _with touching Carlos. _Maybe Logan does have problems with personal space. _

"See! I like Carlos' body!" Logan yells, continuing his innocent grasping of Carlos' body parts. Both other boys are stunned, not knowing how to precede with this in public.

"Ok, that's it!" Carlos yells, pushing Logan and James' hands off him. He heaves, body rolling heavily as he stares at Logan with his anger, danger filled eyes. Even James is a bit scare at this sight but once he notices the underlining smile, he knows Carlos is just bluffing. "I am going to get you!"

"Ahh!" Logan screams, running to the water with Carlos hot on his trail. The scared but giggling boy, takes heavy stomping steps, splashing the crisp water everywhere while Carlos cups the cold freshwater and throws it at his friend's back.

"Come back here! I am not done being mad at you!"

"No! Carlos promise not to be mad!"

"I'm not Carlos! I'm the monster living in your closet!"

"Ahh!" Logan cries and laughs at the same time.

And while all this happens, back on the dry sand, James prepares his lawn chair, torturing himself by watching his two friends running around in the water like idiots. They are idiots. Carlos goes off into some denial that Logan is not in love with. The said boy just flipped and jumped on Carlos' broad shoulder in the water, sniffing his ear as if it smells like the maple syrup he eats with pancake. How can Carlos be so blind? With the inappropriate groping of his body especially recently at his nipples, is it not a sign that Logan is attracted to him? And don't forget about the stripping earlier. Logan practically tried to ripped the shirt off as if the shirt was a clingy girlfriend and jumped on Carlos as a way to claim his man. Innocent or not, Logan is deep in affection for his friend and sad to say, to James, it hurts.

James groans into his fist, kicking the mess of sand into the wind. He watches it scattering to the other minute grains.

"No!" James yells to himself, grabbing he hand mirror from his pocket. "You are better than this. You are James Diamond." He speaks to himself, finding comfort at staring at his flawless face. It's his default. When James feels tormented, he whips out his mirror. "You are going to forget about Carlos and Logan and whatever lovey-dovey weirdo thing they are doing because you are better." James smiles, placing the glass down and lathers himself with tanning oil. "Cuda tanning oil for the golden god in me. Psh! I don't need Logan or his cute round nose or his giggles or his warm silky body against... No! I am James Diamond and I am going to tan." He removes his glasses, laying straight on the ribbon lawn chair. "Plus Logan and Carlos are not dating so HA!" He yells unknowingly, not caring that he finds comfort in such awkward matters but the thought of Carlos and Logan not being romantically involved solaces him into a fast slumber.

...

"Carlos! No sleeping!" James wiggles his sun warmed nose at the sudden loud voice. "Carlos! Wakey, wakey!"

James turns his head to the right where the shrieks are coming from. He blinks his eyes, a view of Logan jumping on Carlos' back clearing in his vision.

"Logie, please." Carlos whines, turning around to lay his back on the chair. He wraps an arm around Logan; the brunette slides into his side, his cheek resting against those pecs Logan craves and worships. It sickens James.

"No!" Logan screeches, poking the red nipple. James silently groans, gritting his teeth, wishing Logan was poking him. "I want to play! I can sleep at home."

"But this is fun." Carlos sways their body together, sickeningly. "We can sleep at the beach this time. Isn't this fun?" Carlos sings. Logan looks unamused.

"I WANT-"

"Do you want to build a castle, Logan?" James abruptly asks, sitting on his side. Carlos looks at him apologetically, cursing at himself for waking up his friend. "We can make it big and tall and play crazy games in it."

"I want to play!" Logan jumps across the chairs onto James' body, poking his rib. James smirks at Carlos, thinking that Logan found a new body, a better body to touch. "Why is Carlos bigger?" At that James blushes, feeling Logan circling one of his red nub with his finger.

"Logan! We can't ask those question. You're making James sad." Carlos addresses, pointing to James' burning, caramel tanned face.

"Sorry James." Logan cries, nuzzling his head onto James' chest as a way to apologize. "I will never touch you again. I will touch only Carlos now."

Carlos groans into his chair and James gives him a death stare. _Thanks a lot, Carlos. Thanks. Now Logan won't touch me, you pervert,_ James thinks.

"Come on Logan. Let's build a castle." Logan squeals at James' offer, holding his hand.

"Wait guys," the Latino calls. He pushes himself up with a groan. "I'll build a castle with him. I don't want to bother you, James."

"No, it's no bother at all." James says, tugging Logan closer to his body territorially as he thinks Carlos is going to steal Logan from him again.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." James answers with his award winning smile. He does truthfully want to play with Logan. Having some alone time and stealing Logan away from Carlos oddly make him happy. He dashes, holding Logan's hand to an vacant space.

It feels good, really good. Normally James would hate to move from his tanning chair, probably why Carlos felt guilty, but he feels good that he is spending time with Logan. The spike up hair boy is so adorable, rubbing sand against his smooth chin, face scrunched in deep thought as if he is an architect. It makes James chuckle, smiling a warm underlining grin of true content. It isn't like the smile he used in his modeling gigs or when he's lying to his friends. It's a true, underrated smile; the one where people say they can't describe but know it's real, a lover's smile.

"Jamie, I think the water is coming." Logan complains, patting James' flawless hair with his dirty hand. James wants to scream but staring into Logan's pouting eyes stops him.

"Don't worry Logan. This is a lake so the water doesn't have big wave. Plus I'll protect you if the water comes magically." James laughs, continuing building his fortress. "You know Logan. I hated building castles because the water or someone might ruin it."

Logan stops and looks at James with his attending eyes.

"I stopped making sandcastles two years because I would make a beautiful and suddenly, whoosh, something happens and my tower breaks down." James says, adding a twig on the top to look like a flag.

"That why are you making castle?" Logan asks, crawling closer to James.

James chuckles, wanting to hide the real answer but Logan nudges him and he feels liberated to say it. "Because of you."

"Me?" Logan hops his butt on the ground, listening with his full attention. "Why?"

"Because the last time I made a castle was with this guy I liked named Dak and he broke it. He meant a lot to me. He broke down my walls, my weaknesses and we built a new wall. He would protect me, be the best he can be to me and made me feel like I live in a castle until..." A side of the fortress collapses under James' touch and a rippling effect causes the entire side to break down. James sighs. "He broke me down with my castle."

Logan frowns, grabbing James' fallen hand. "We can make a new castle for Jamie. I'll make Jamie a castle." He giddily reconstructs the open section.

James smiles. He know Logan has no idea what James was talking about but the way he shrugs it off and tries to recreate the wall comforts him. He doesn't feel the anguishing feeling of Dak when talking to Logan. He just feels happy, happier then he felt in a long time.

"Hey Logan?" The called boy turns around slowly, looking peacefully at James' determined eyes. Without a thought or a second, James leans down, pressing his lips on Logan's. He doesn't care if he just knocked down the whole castle or if anyone's watch. The only thing that matters is Logan sitting there, letting James press a sweet kiss on those soft lips. Sucking Logan's lips out a bit before finishing, James leans back, watching Logan forming confusion in his mind. He feels it, the knot in his stomach saying that he is a first rate jerk for kissing an innocent boy but he couldn't help it. It's Logan he kissed. The boy he's been pining for the last few days and he is not going to let anything stop him now. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

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><p>I'm not fond (content –wise lol) of the ending as I am a cargan lover but this is important for the growth of the (current) three major characters. And if my die-hard cargan fans are mad at me, it is understandable. :( I am sad too lol but I wrote bits of future chapters where cargan is strongly solid for example, moments where Carlos and James' friendship is tested and moments where Logan understands the difference between being in a love relationship and being in relationship with the person you love. :). I understand if you stop reading at this point because of the Jagan and the (current) lack of Kendall. I won't be mad lol but you'll miss the surprise that Kendall brings and Logan's journey to understanding what is love; being able to call someone a boyfriend or being happy with someone who isn't your boyfriend.<p>

Btw, if you do stop but are curious as to where the story heads, pm me questions. I don't mind spoiling (for this point) if you are dying to know lol but remember, spoiling is robbing the fun ;). And if anyone is wondering, I planned out roughly **twenty chapters** for the story. ;]

Please review. :)


	6. Bandersnatch

Thanks for continuing to read this. I will continue to have the fluffy (entertaining) cargan moments that I know you all enjoy.

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><p><strong>Bandersnatch<strong>

"Will you be my boyfriend?" James asks, face blushing deeper and redder than the sunburned tan he's sporting. The seconds feel like hours to him as he stares into Logan's petrified eyes. "Will you?"

"What's a boyfriend?" Logan asks softly. He curls his toes into the cool sand, brushing his christened lips with his clean pinky.

"Umm..." He tries to think of an easy definition for the word, hopefully in a way that Logan would understand. "Boyfriend is someone that makes you happy, really happy. He is the person that no matter what will make you smile even if you are the saddest person in the world. Do you get it?"

"I think so." Logan answers unsurely with his lips purged.

"You make me happy." James confesses, holding onto Logan's shoulders, staring into his doe brown eyes with his hazel ones. The sounds of the calm, placid water sedate James, helping him hold his overflowing emotions. "Really happy, Logan. When I see you, no matter how bad or crummy my day is, you make it better. I light up. I smile. I feel like I am me again when I see you. You make me happy. Do I make you happy?"

"Of course you do." Logan giggles, a smile imprinting on his face. He leans foreword, mimicking what James did before, pressing a gentle kiss on his unsuspecting face. James doesn't fight it, lingering his lips in the air after the second, wishing Logan stayed a moment longer. "That was fun." An innocent giggle slips from both of the boys' lips.

"Logan, I want to be your boyfriend. Will you be mine?" The taller boy kneels, holding both of Logan's hands, wearing a pout on his face.

Logan smiles and jumps into James. They fall backward, breaking the whole castle with their excitement. "I'm a boyfriend!" Logan celebrates, nuzzling his sand covered face into James' chest. "I have a boyfriend and a best friend."

_Shoot_! James realizes at Logan's words. He didn't think about what Carlos would say, what he would do if he finds out that James, his best friend, just stole the boy whose been living with him, sleeping on the same bed nonetheless. That will be an awkward moment that James isn't prepared to deal with but he just promised to be Logan's boyfriend and Logan is happy to have one. The boy is basically affectionately fondling his body the same way he did with Carlos'; the way that's been fueling James' jealousy. He wants Logan to be his boyfriend. He wants a good relationship that he previously felt he would never have but he also doesn't want to hurt his best friend. Carlos is the one guy that stuck by him through all, good, bad and the worst. The ball of Latino fluff is the reason why James is still living with the shreds of confidence he has after all of the horrible break ups. He just wishes there is a way not to upset Carlos but that seems impossible now.

"Hey, Logan?" James sits up, brushing the specks of sand off of his face. "About Carlos. Let's not-"

"HEY GUYS!" The two boys turn their heads to Carlos waving his hand. The rested Latino points to the feast of burgers, sandwiches and junk food he spread out on a collapsible table. "I have food!"

"Let's go Jamies."

"Wait Logan!" James tries to grab his wrist but the boy already left, halfway across the short path. James exhales, hoping Carlos didn't see anything and Logan doesn't say anything. He wants Logan, no doubt but he doesn't want to lose Carlos in the process.

"Come on, James!" Carlos calls again with a smile. Hopefully Carlos doesn't know, James wishes.

"What do I eat?" Logan pouts with a frown, eyes tearing at the buffet of food.

"Don't worry Logie." Carlos clears the table space in front of him. James observes Carlos' actions carefully, wondering why he isn't clearing the space to his side. "I thought you wouldn't eat this so I made you-"

"PANCAKES!" Logan excitedly jumps onto Carlos' lap.

"Logan. You can't sit on me in public. I don't like that." Carlos says.

James rolls his eyes _What a liar? Carlos wants Logan to sit on him. _He sighs, wanting to yell at Carlos for hitting on his boyfriend but that would expose that Logan is his.

"Please." Logan whines, staring adorably at Carlos with his watery, undeniable eyes.

"Ok fine. But no-"

"Funny business." Logan giggles, attacking his plate of fluffy cakes. Carlos laughs, handing James and himself a burger. "Eww!" He points to the sandwich in James' hand.

"It's taste good Logan. You want to try?" James asks with his full mouth.

"Eww, no. It's red."

"No. It's ketchup, Logan. It tastes good and yummy." James sings.

"Eww. It's blood. I don't like it."

"Me too." Carlos joins, laughing. "I hate ketchup. It's gross, I don't know. I ate so much of it when I was young that now it just grosses me out."

"It's blood!"

"It's disgusting." Carlos adds, sharing an uproar of fits with Logan's bouncing, giggling on him. James tries to mellow his disgusted filled expression but with every second of Carlos and Logan mingling, happily fondling with each other makes it harder to hold his facade.

"James would try to pour ketchup on my plate all the time because I dislike it so much." James blinks, realizing Carlos is talking about him. "Right James?"

"Oh yeah, right. Carlos has a deathly fear of mashed, purée tomato." The tall brunette awkwardly chuckles, hoping his boyfriend would stop having fun on his best friend. "Hey Logan. Carlos is trying to eat. You should not sit on him."

"No!" Logan shrieks, puffing his cheeks. "Carlos lets me. I get pancakes!"

"Nah, it's ok, James. I don't mind it. I'm kind of used to it. Sorry if it annoys you though." Carlos scratches the back of his neck while hiding his blush behind Logan's head but James notices the tint of red. It fumes him that Carlos gets to publicly hold his secret boyfriend and James can't say anything. It's sickening. It's wrong. And it's making him lose his appetite.

"I don't mind." He pushes his plate away, staring at Logan. "I just don't know if Logan is going to learn that it's not right to sit on a stranger's lap in public."

"I guess that's true." The Latino agrees, watching the boy stuff his face with the remaining pieces. "Hey Logan. Do you think you can eat and sit by yourself, in your own seat?"

"No!" He shakes his head rapidly. "I don't want to."

"But James does have a point, Logan. Come on." Carlos groans, trying to place the flailing boy into the seat to his side.

"No, No! Carlos is my seat!"

"No Logan. I am my own seat. You have to sit there."

"No!"

"Come one Logie. James says you have to sit in your own seat. You can't sit on my lap in public, right?"

"My boyfriend is wrong!" Logan yells. James coughs profusely, choking on the salty air. "I can sit on Carlos' lap. I can hop on it too!" He demonstrates, bounces on the blushing teen.

"Logan, you can't do that!" Carlos wraps his arms around his naked ribs, holding him in place. "That was inappropriate, Logan." Carlos waves his stern, straight finger at him.

Logan pouts, dropping his face. "Sorry Carlos."

"That's fine." He pats his head, flicking off the clusters wet sand. "Just no more bouncing in public, ok?"

"Ok but can I sit on your lap now? I promise to be a good boy, the best boy, please?"

Carlos sighs, staring into his swirling, pleading eyes. "Sure but-"

"No funny business." Logan giggles, turning around to finish his meal. Carlos chuckles, grabbing his burger. He takes a couple of bites before noticing a pale shade on James' supposedly golden tan face.

"Hey James. Are you ok? You look sick."

"Oh, what?" He breaks out of his prayer, hoping Carlos didn't hear Logan back then. "Oh maybe. I guess it might be something I ate."

"That's because my boyfriend ate ketchup."

"No, I'm not!" James bites his lips, turning a whiter pale. "I mean it could be the ketchup."

Carlos furrows his eyebrows, staring confusedly at his friend. "James, are you sure you're ok?"

"Psh! Of course I am fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? We are at the beach during the month it should be snowing and I am shirtless. Why wouldn't I be ok?" James laughs, pretending to shrug it off.

Carlos continues his confused glare, crooking his neck. "I guess you're right. It's a beautiful day and we are having fun. Right Logie?"

"Right!"

"See. Nothing to worry about. Let's just eat" James adds, taking a huge bite of his food. With his mouth stuffed with food, he hopes Logan would not slip up again. Third time's the charm. There is no way Carlos is that deaf that he couldn't had heard the first two times, right?

"Hey James?" Carlos chuckles with his mouth full. "When did you become Logan's boyfriend?" He laughs, giving a playful wink. The pretty boy tenses, gasping and choking on the bile in his mouth. Wincing at the acidic pain, he coughs, clearing his throat.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about? I am not Logan's boyfriend."

"I'm James' boyfriend!" Logan cups both of Carlos' cheeks, wearing a determined scowl on his face. "James said so. I am James' boyfriend."

"Don't believe him, Carlos. I am not his boyfriend! Who are you going to trust, Logan or your best friend?" James panics, realizing how childish his behavior is; he stooped to Logan's level.

"You trust me!" The shorter brunette wails, poking Carlos' cheeks with his straight finger.

"Logan, you're funny." Carlos strokes his back, calming the enraged boy. "If you're James' boyfriend then what is a boyfriend?"

"A boyfriend is someone that makes James happy no matter what. James said he is the saddest person and I make him happy."

James coughs. "Technically, I am not the saddest person. That is morbid if I am."

Carlos shakes his head, finding the situation hilarious. "And James makes you happy?"

"Yep, very happy." Logan undoubtedly announces. James sinks lower and lower into his beach chair, getting more antsy by the minute. He covers his face, not caring that he accidentally wiped ketchup on his crimson cheek. "I am James' boyfriend because I'm happy and he's happy."

Carlos bursts out laughing uncontrollably. James looks between the slits of his fingers, feeling that Carlos' tauntingly laughter hurts as if Carlos assumed Logan would never want to be his boyfriend or that James would never get one. It hurts but with either thought, he hopes Carlos doesn't realize that Logan is adamantly trying to get Carlos to believe him.

"Ok Logan. I believe you." The Latino agrees sarcastically, waving his white napkin in the air like a flag, surrendering. He winks at James with a smile as if he is motioning for his best friend to play along with Logan's wishes. James snickers, a fake weak smile creeping onto his lips. "You are James' boyfriend. But remember, as James' boyfriend you have to promise to always make him happy."

"I promise!"

"Nope, not good enough." Carlos comments, raises his hand in the air. "Do what I do." He commands, making Logan hold up his open palm like a witness would in court. "Repeat after me. I, Logan, promise to make James happy as long as I am his boyfriend."

"I promise to make James happy as long as I am his boyfriend." Logan says.

"Then you have my blessing. Come here." Carlos pulls the boy into a celebratory hug. He gives James another playful wink. "See James. I told you you'll find someone special one day."

"Yea... Lucky me." James sarcastically interjects, the words hurting more than he thought. "Can we talk about something else? I don't want to talk about my past boyfriends and love life."

"Sure James. Sorry." Carlos finishes his burger, moving on to the plate of wet concord grapes. He pops one in his mouth, positioning one at James'. James smiles, creating a football goal post with his finger in front of his opened mouth.

"Touchdown!" They laugh, chewing the watery fruit.

"I want to play. I want one." Logan pouts, feeling left out. He widely opens his mouth, waiting for Carlos to toss the pebble size fruit in his salivating mouth.

"Wait a second, Logan." Carlos says, peeling the grape of the thin slightly bitter skin. James watches in amazement, never once had he nor did his parents ever peel a grape for him. Heck, his past boyfriend rarely fed him fruits but Carlos is doing it for Logan, his secret boyfriend. It makes him sick how Carlos is so affectionate with him when Logan isn't even technically his.

"Try this. It tastes better without the yucky part." Logan wraps his lips around the fruit, the tips of Carlos' fingers disappearing into Logan's mouth. He giggles, the cool rush of the chilled dessert tickling his taste buds. "See. I know what you like."

"Again, again!" Logan giddily hops, grabbing a grape for Carlos to peel.

"Don't do it!" James shrieks abruptly. Carlos turns around. "I mean, Logan is eighteen for god sake and you're babying him. How is he going to grow up if you peel, out of all fruits, grapes? You're supposes to pop the little suckers like candy, not peel them like an orange."

Carlos blinks, his friend's sudden harsh tone surprising him. He shakes it off and continues to peel. "It's ok, James. I don't mind it. I know my parents never did it for me and I eat the peel but I don't mind doing it for Logan. Beside how can you resist his face?" Logan pouts effortlessly, waiting for Carlos to pop the naked piece.

James groans, knowing exactly what Carlos meant; resisting Logan is hard and he knows hiding his secret is harder. "Just don't Carlos. Logan, open your mouth." James pelts his nose with a flying grape, missing his target. Logan giggles, picking up and eating the fail throw. He contours his face and sticks out his tongue in disgust.

"I like Carlos." Logan looks at the Latino pleadingly, pointing to his opened mouth. James fists his trunks.

"You like me!" James blurts out, covering his mouth afterward.

Carlos, again, raises his eyebrows. "James, there's no need for yelling. Logan likes you, too." He nudges Logan in the rib, pointing at James. "I'll give you another grape if you give James a kiss on the cheek."

James' eyes shoots wide open at Carlos' proposition. He waves his hands in the air. "No! I don't need it. Never mind Carlos, you can peel him grapes. Actually I insist you do." James stutters.

"No, Logan, do it. James wants a good old kiss." Carlos jokes. Logan smiles brightly at James.

"I like kissing!" Logan bounces off of Carlos, walking around the table to James.

"No! Sit down, Logan!"

"I like kissing!"

"Sit down!"

"Just let him, James. It's just a kiss." Carlos rationalizes with a devious smirk on his face.

"No, Logan sit-" Logan cuts him off, pressing his supple lips on James'. He closes his eyes, pressing strongly into James. The taller brunette squirms, feeling awkward but not as awkward as his other friend. Carlos drops his grin and a surprised shocked expression takes its place. Logan finishes the long five second press, turning to face Carlos with his giant grin.

"I kissed my boyfriend." Logan exclaims excitedly, not recognizing the heavy tense air. His crescent shaped lips falls into a frown as James nervously grits his white teeth at the person across from them. "I don't get a grape?"

...

The car ride back isn't any better. The anxiety of the beach follows them as Carlos drives the party home. James fidgets as if he got sand stuck in his short in the front seat while Logan is fast asleep in the back. The ride home has been silent; the light snoring from the sleeping boy is the only ambiance audible in the spacious four-wheeler.

"Look Carlos." James tries to start after thinking for the last hour of sitting next to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask Logan out or even kiss him but it just happened. I like him and he has to like me or he wouldn't have said yes. I'm sorry, ok, but I really like Logan more than as a friend. Even you said that Logan is perfect for me, right?" James pleads, scooting closer to the focused teen driving the car. Silence. Carlos doesn't even turn his head to give James a look or a glare or anything. He's just watching ahead for the road in the pitch black night. "Carlos, say something. We're best buds and I don't want this to come between us."

Carlos swirls the car, parking it on the side of the open road. He turns on his blinkers, before turning to his friend. James nervously takes a breath, waiting for Carlos' explosion.

"I'm not mad at you." James wrinkles his brows, shocked at Carlos' gentle voice. "Logan and I are not dating. You took your chances and got yourself a boyfriend. Why would I be mad?"

"Because you like Logan and deserve Logan much more than I do."

"Why would you say that?" He yells, biting his lips. He turns to back, hoping that his voice did not wake Logan up. Luckily he doesn't, only turning under his towel with his thumb in his mouth. "I am not in love with Logan. We just live together."

"That is a lie Carlos and you know it." James yells back, doing the same actions, making sure that Logan is still asleep too. "I see it as clear as diamonds. You care for him more than a parent would with a child. You coddle him with peeled grapes, and consequence-free fun. You treat him like you would a boyfriend."

"I treat like I would treat anyone in his situation. And why are you yelling at me? I'm the one who should be mad at you. Logan can't date. He is a little boy."

"See!" James points. "You're so protective of him. And he is not a kid. He's eighteen like us. I'm not a pedophile. I can be Logan's boyfriend if I want to." James asserts. Carlos gives him one last glare before turning the car into drive. He steps on the gas, speeding down the road. James breaths, calming down, realizing he just did what he was trying to avoid. "I'm sorry Carlos. I didn't mean to yell at you. That was uncalled for and I should had asked you if you're ok with me asking Logan out first but I guess I thought you were going to say-"

"Go ahead." He scoffs; eyes still on the road. "Be his boyfriend. I'm not in love with him anyways. My dad asked me to take care of him and now that he has you, I can be me again. I don't need extra problems in life."

James frowns quickly at Carlos' harsh words, feeling that what he's saying isn't what he's feeling. "Carlos, I know you don't-"

"I give you my blessing to date Logan even though I don't think you should."

"Thanks." James says weakly, accepting the permission. "I will treat Logan right. I won't give him sugar or sweets or anything."

"Stop babying him. I said yes to a boyfriend, not to adopting a baby."

James notices it again, the sting in Carlos' voice. "Carlos… Are you sure you're ok with me dating Logan?"

Carlos sighs groaningly, closing his eyes for a long second. "It's fine. Just treat him well and no adult things, please. I don't want to explain to my dad that Logan is a walking rated R kid."

"Don't worry, Carlos. You can count on me." James beams his happily white teeth at Carlos, happy that the problem ended better than he thought it would. "I got a good boyfriend this time." He celebrates; not hearing Carlos quietly mumbling something under his breath.

…

Carrying the tired boy into his house, James lays him on his soft bed. He tries not to but unfortunately wakes him anyways.

"Hmm. Where am I?" Logan asks, wiping his eyes of built up crust and sleepiness. He blinks and yawns, registering that he's in James' room. "I'm tired." He states stretching his arms up and above his head.

"Then go to sleep, Logan." James says, grabbing his nightwear. "You can sleep without your clothes if you want, I don't mind."

The smaller boy looks around sliding off the unfamiliar bed and sits on the white carpet. He plays with the carpet's threads, waiting for James to look at him.

"You're not sleeping? I thought you're tired." James says, taking out his contacts.

The kid yawns again, concurring his mood. "When am I going home?"

"You are home." James walks into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Logan looks around once more, the room starting to scare him. He dashes into the restroom, throwing his arms around James. "Whoa, Logan." James giggles, feeling Logan pressing his nose into his back. "We can hug on the bed."

"I want to go home!" He cries, tightening his hold on James. "I want Carlos."

The brush slips from his fingers as James feels the latent sting of Logan's word. He thought the pain was gone when Logan said yes and when Carlos gave his blessing but Logan's sentence still hurts.

"I'll protect you from what is scaring you." James says, turning around to hug him. He curls the boy into his built frame. "I promise to protect you no matter what because you are my boyfriend. Nothing will hurt you. No monster will eat you. And you won't need Carlos again." He realizes what he just said; the venom of his last promise burns his mouth more than the minty toothpaste.

"But, why can't I sleep with Carlos in his bed?"

"Because I'm your boyfriend." He tries to calmly answer but every time Logan mentions Carlos, his blood boils. "Boyfriend sleeps with boyfriend on his boyfriend's bed. You are my boyfriend, right?"

Logan nods weakly, just wanting to sleep in his usual settings.

"Good." James unexpectedly hoists Logan in his arms and carries him to their bed. "Because I am tired and need my beauty sleep." He chuckles, reaching for the light switch. He turns to the brunette, waiting to see if Logan needs the light.

"You sleep with the light?"

"No." James questioningly answers. "Carlos said you sleep without your clothes. If you want to take off your clothes, I don't mind."

Logan looks around, holding onto to his clothes from feeling vulnerable in James' home at such a late hour. "No, it's ok." He answers uneasily, slipping into the bed hugging the shirt he borrowed, Carlos' shirt. "Carlos says to practice." Logan adds, sounding unsure and untruthful. "Good night, Jamie." He sings, curling into a ball.

The taller teen flicks the switch and slides under the covers, scooting closer to Logan. Suddenly Logan jerks back, surprised by the snaking hands. "You don't want me to hug you to sleep?"

"Oh sorry. You surprised me... Ok." Logan quietly answers, moving into James.

The other boy tries to dust it off but he can't help feel that even with Logan in his arms, he feels like he doesn't really have him. He sighs but shrugs it off as the after effects of enduring the baking sun at the beach. "Good night, Logan." He says, waiting for Logan's voice. He doesn't hear, so he leans in and listens the light breathing. Shaking his head, he wishes for Logan just to return a simple good night like how he wishes Logan would wholeheartedly return his affections. But the boy's sleeping it off, disappearing from him again but at least Logan is his boyfriend and that is more than enough for James to happily fall asleep. "G'd night, boyfriend." He giggles like a girl at the word, a smile resting on his face as he rests into the night.

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><p>I hope this chapter is up to par and is enjoyable to all of my readers. Next chapter deals with cargan, jagan, and James&amp;Carlos friendship. And I started writing the future chapter that has Kendall. lol I'm making him so boss, cool and manly because someone (Boo) been showing me sexy Kendall.<p>

Please Review =]


	7. Where's Alice

Thanks for over 100 reviews. =]. I didn't think this would get this many reviews. =] They make me happy and motivate me to work harder on updating faster. And btw, THANKS to all of the anon/non-registered reviewers. I love to reply to all of reviewers.

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><p><strong>Where's Alice<strong>

The faint rays of light cause James to stir in his bed. He smiles and rolls, tucking the soft body between his arms and legs. The warmth of the clothed cylinder he tightly holds makes him giddy and overtly gleeful.

"You're so soft, Logan. I can just lay in bed with you all day." James dazedly states, not even bothering to open his eyes. Just the thought of the lithe boy in his arms is enough for him to know he's not dream. He waits a second, the silence makes him chuckle that Logan wants to just sleep like a log in his built, muscular frame. "I'm so glad that you're my boyfriend, Logan. You're the only one who doesn't disappoint me. Everyone I dated treated me like poop but you, no. You make me happy. I know you'll never leave me, cheat on me. You're so innocent and cute and perfect."

He continues rambling, spewing complements after complements of how Logan is different from his past relationships. After ten minutes of coddling, James gets suspicious of the quaint silence. "Logan, are you awake?"

He asks, finally opening his eyes. He looks down, blushing that he was confessing to his long body pillow the whole time. Sliding the pillow off of him, he looks around the bed and the room of signs of the shorter brunette. Logan is no where in sight. James shakes his head, chuckling at his embarrassing confession to a pillow. No wonder why Logan didn't reply back. He wasn't on the bed.

"Hey Logan," He calls loudly. "I'm going to brush my teeth, ok? Have fun exploring my house." James comments, remembering Logan never saw the rest of his house and assuming, with the curiosity of a kid, he would venture through James' mansion. He is rich after all. He mother brought five houses in the tri-state area for storage of her expanding cosmetic company. James agreed that if he does inventory of the supplies, his mother would let him live alone in one of the houses. Thinking this would help James' business skills, she agreed and let James do what ever he wants. He is placed as the owner of the home and is allowed to let anyone live with him as he pleases.

Actually, James offered Carlos a room but being the proud and independent Latino Carlos is, his friend rather find a job and live alone. Beside, James is a messy person. Carlos would have gone crazy if he had to clean James' expanding closets. The stylish boy continuously restocks his supply of clothing to match the trends and season. Oh how much fun Carlos would have cleaning a mansion instead of his one floor home?

"I have the same toothbrush and toothpaste Carlos has so you don't have to be worry, Logan." James continues calling from his open bathroom. The silence starts to scare him. It's as if Logan never entered his home at all but that is not possible. Logan was on the bed last night. There is no way Logan disappeared.

"Hey Logan, where are you?" James searches the house, one room at a time. Checking the cellar as the last place of the two floors plus basement home, James panics. His face is flushed of the hard worked tan he got yesterday at the beach and his hands trembles.

"LOGAN!" He cries loudly, running around the house once more, twice now that he checked the home, but his boyfriend is no where to be found. "This is not funny Logan. Come out!" The fear of losing Logan can be heard in his trembling voice. It was his second day, heck it hasn't even been twenty four hours yet, and James already lost his boyfriend. That's a horrible new record.

"Logan! I'm not sad or mad. Please come out. I am your family. I'll miss you if you leave." James scrambles through his memories of why Logan would run away. The only time he did was when Carlos got mad at Logan but that doesn't make sense. James was nothing but kind to the boy. His anxiety builds and he resorts to asking Carlos for help.

"Please pick up." James prays, listening to the rings of his phone. "Please have Logan."

"Hello."

"Is Logan with you?" James yells, disregarding the tired voice his friend has. "He is missing."

"What?" Carlos shrieks, dropping his phone. "What happened? Is Logan ok?" He stammers, voice brimming with worry.

"I don't know." James continues checking his house for a fourth, a fifth time. "I woke up in the morning and Logan was gone."

"That is what happened when I yelled at him." James hears his friend's whisper. "Did you yell at him last night?"

"No, I never yelled at him. I let him sleep on my bed with me. I practically would have given him anything he wanted if he asked. There is no reason why Logan would want to disappear." James trembles, leaning against his kitchen counter for support and wiping the beads of sweats off of his forehead.

"Maybe Logan is in the closet." Carlos tires to comfort, hoping that was would Logan is doing.

"Are you freaking joking?" James yells at his friend. "Are you freaking making fun of us because we're gay? You are freaking-"

"NO!" Carlos yells at James' accusation. "When I first told Logan to go to bed, he ran into a closet. My dad said he found Logan in a closet and I'm guessing since Logan never slept over your house he got scared and ran into a closet."

"Oh, that makes sense. Sorry Carlos. I am just a bit antsy." James frisks each room again, checking every single one of his deep walk-in closets but in the end, Logan is no where to be found. "He's not here! Could he had run away? What did I do wrong? I only had him for a night and I screwed up!" James shouts into his phone, kicking his closet door.

"You did nothing wrong." His friend coaxes. "Logan is somewhere. We will find him. I'll help you."

"Really, Carlos?" James excitedly jumps through the cracked door and into his massive closet of clothes. He checks his wall TV for the weather, collecting his outfit. "Carlos! It's frigid cold! It's forty five degrees outside. If Logan is out there, he is probably frozen. Dammit! Why can't today be warm like yesterday?"

"James! Calm down. We will find him. Just get dress."

"Right, thanks buddy." James jumps into his jeans and t-shirt, not even caring to fix his hair. "What's the plan? I'll check the park and you check around?" James commands in his frantic panic.

"Sure James. He is probably in the park. I'll check everywhere else."

"Thanks so much Carlos." James dashes to the front of his garage, unchaining his bike.

...

Flipping his phone off, Carlos sighs. He's supposed to be getting ready for work. He's starting his double shift in two hours and he hasn't showered or eaten yet. Shaking his head and wanting to help his friend, Carlos wraps a scarf around his neck, and throws on his down jacket.

_I'm going to be late to work, _he texts his boss, hoping he won't mind Carlos walking in an hour late. He might get fired but finding Logan is more important than his tedious job at the grocery store half a mile away.

Fixing his jacket buttons, Carlos steps to the front door, turning the knob with his free hand. Unexpectedly, a body slides off the door and onto his legs. Carlos gasps, watching the cold, naked body on his porch. It's barely covered, using the shirt and jeans as a makeshift blanket rather than as actual wore clothing. Its cheeks are blue and the limbs are ice cold.

"Logan!" Carlos drops to the ground, warming the unconscious body with his jacket.

"Car?" The eyes flicker.

"No Logan! You have to stay awake." He shakes the body, holding it close to his chest, folding his jacket around his blue discolored chest. "Logan, come on, stay awake! Don't leave me."

"I'm cold."

With the boy in his arms, the Latino dashes to his room, placing Logan on the bed and under the thick covers. He rushes to the portable heater, wheeling it next to the bed and turning it to max. Lastly, he rushes to close his front door before returning to his friend's side.

"What were you doing, Logan? You could have died in the cold!" Carlos yells even though he said he wouldn't, cringing and pacing in frustration. He wasn't going to get this involve with Logan now that the boy has James as a boyfriend but he can't help feeling over worried for him; Logan is basically a baby in the world. "Logan," he repeats, calming a bit. "Why did you run away?"

"I-I'm hungry."

"No Logan. Answer the question first and then I'll get James to make you food."

"Please Carlos." Logan begs with his brown eyes, reaching for Carlos' arm with his frostbitten blue fingers. "I'm hungry."

Carlos shakes his head and sighs. "You have to answer me when I come back, ok?"

Logan smiles, nodding his head against the familiar pillow. Unknowingly Carlos cracks a smile from watching one form on Logan's face. He's not supposed to be this affected by his friend's boyfriend, but he can't help it. Logan is a pool of innocence that creeps smiles onto Carlos every single time. It's not supposed to be this way. Carlos groans, returning to the kitchen with a can of soup.

Finish making the steamy bowl of chicken soup, Carlos convenes back to Logan's side of the bed. The brunette pouts, staring at the foreign bowl of piping hot soup. "I want pancake."

"And I made you chicken noodle soup," Carlos replies to Logan's whining. "You are having soup because you're cold, which I am very mad about."

"Sorry Carlos." Logan looks down, scooting closer to the boy holding the bowl.

"No, no. Stay there." Carlos pushes Logan back to the middle of the bed, cocooning him with the whole blanket. "You have to stay in the blanket. I don't want you to be cold."

"But you said no eating in bed."

"And I say stay." Carlos commands, scooping a spoon of the broth. He blows on it until the steam is barely visible. "Open your mouth." Logan does, letting Carlos feed him the first spoon of chicken broth.

"Mmm." Logan smiles, sloshing the soup in his mouth. He opens his mouth wide, waiting for the second spoon. But after ten seconds of waiting, Logan crooks his head and looks at Carlos. The other boy holds a somber, almost depressed expression, staring into the entropy of components in the bowl. "Sorry," Logan apologizes, sort of sensing the mood.

"Why did you run away?" Carlos blinks back his forming tear, continuing his feeding. "You could have froze to death if I did not find you in time."

"Sorry," he repeats, avoiding eye contact.

"Open your mouth." Carlos softly commands, holding the spoon to Logan's mouth. "Why Logan?"

"I miss you. I promised to never run away from you." Logan whispers. He shakes off the huge wrapped blanket and crawls onto Carlos' lap. Avoiding the hot bowl in Carlos' hand, Logan plots himself on the familiar crossed legs, hugging Carlos. "I don't feel right sleeping in James' bed. I want Carlos."

He feels the warmth of Logan's body transferring onto him; the soothing feeling of the naked body pressed on him but he can't. "Logan, you have to stay under the blanket. Please, I don't want you to get sick."

Logan pouts but obliges after looking at Carlos' broken but stern face. "Sorry, Carlos." He creeps back under the covers.

"You have to sleep at James' house." Carlos states, scooping a spoon. "You're his boyfriend and boyfriends sleep together."

"But I can't sleep with James." He says, swallowing the load of chicken breast and noodles.

"But you have to, Logie."

"No, I want to sleep with you," he cries, brimming his irresistible pout. Carlos sighs but knows he can't give into it.

"Logan, you make James really happy. Please sleep with James." Carlos begs, blowing on the next spoon. "James really likes you and is very happy that you're his boyfriend. Please don't make him sad."

"But I miss you." Logan finishes the thick soup, sliding down with his head to rest on the pillow. "Do you miss me?"

Carlos freezes, thinking about his night's sleep. The answer is a mix of both but truthfully, he did. He did miss having Logan sleeping on his bed. He did miss Logan breathing on his bare chest. And he did miss the way Logan scoots into his frame at night as if he is seeking protection in Carlos' arms. It's hard for Carlos to say that he realizes how much he wants Logan back after a single lonely night but what about James? His friend deserves Logan and he asked him first. Not that Carlos wanted a boyfriend or was even looking but he kind of misses the things Logan would do with him, both the socially accepted and the unusual ones.

"I do but James is your boyfriend and you know what boyfriends do."

"They sleep together." Logan repeats, holding his hand out for Carlos to join him. Carlos involuntarily slides under the cover, letting Logan fold into his body. Even though Carlos is wearing a shirt, Logan muzzles his head against the familiar chest, wanting him and no one else.

"Logan please, you're James' boyfriend." Carlos pushes Logan off of his body. "This is wrong. You can't do this to someone other than James. Please don't do this."

"But I miss you." Logan weakly answers. "Last night, I tried. I slept on James' big bed but I felt lonely and scared. I had a dream. My mom and dad were back and they wanted to hit me. They said I am a bad boy for running away from them and they wanted to beat me. And I know James said he will protect me but he's sleeping. His arms are not like your arms. I feel safer in your arms. You're my hero."

Carlos stares into Logan's eyes, wanting to ask him to come back and to promise he will protect him forever but they are not together. They can't do that. "Please Logan, you have to sleep over there. James is a good guy and he will protect you. James protected me from bullies all the time and he will do the same for you. He won't let you get hurt."

"But Car..." Logan looks as if he is going to cry.

"Do it for me." Carlos says as his last resort. "Do it for me. If you really miss me please sleep with your boyfriend. That will make James really happy and ... me too." Carlos whispers the last two lying words, averting his eyes from Logan.

"Ok." He looks up at the willing boy. "If Carlos is happy, I will do it."

"Thank you, Logan."

"But," the boy interjects, grabbing his hand. He gives a longer yawn. "But Carlos has to sleep with me one last time, please. You're my hero."

Carlos chuckles, the innocent face making him smile. He nods and slides closer to Logan, letting the boy sleep into his body. "Go to sleep Logie."

"Night Car." Logan ends, breathing on the patch of exposed skin above Carlos' collar. The bigger teen smiles at the ticklish air and tightens his embrace, knowing this is the last time and he should make the most of it.

Sighing, because he doesn't want to end the moment, Carlos slides out his phone when Logan is definitely asleep and texts James that he found Logan.

Twenty minutes later, Carlos hears the doorbell, expecting it's his friend. He checks on Logan; the mousy boy cuddling in his body, sleeping like a baby. It makes Carlos smile but he has to break from the hold. Gently and swiftly, Carlos slides out of bed without stirring the sleep boy and walks to the front door.

"Thank god you found him." James throws himself into the home. "Where was he? Did he freeze to death?"

"Umm... he was asleep in front of my house." James crooks his confused head at Carlos' answer, finally noticing the minute details about his friend. He's wearing a slightly opened button down shirt and jeans that are wrinkled on one side as if he just got out of bed from sleeping with someone and his hair confirms it. It's perfectly styled on his left side and his right is just messy and unkempt.

"Where is Logan?" He follows Carlos into the bedroom, seeing his boyfriend asleep naked on the bed. The content smile on Logan's face makes him cringe with frustration. Why isn't Logan happy in his bed? And the body shaped imprint in the mattress and pillow next to Logan's isn't helpful in calming him either. It just confirms that his boyfriend rather sleep with his best friend than with James.

"James, I told Logan to give your bed a shot." The stylish brunette turns to face his friend, watching him fix his obviously wrinkled shirt and bed-rested hair. It makes him furious; proof of Carlos' untidiness confirms his boyfriend's desire to sleep with his friend and what's worst? The same friend has to ask Logan to sleep with James just to get Logan to be fine with something so universal. Logan should want to be with James and not Carlos. It's not right. Logan shouldn't have to be persuaded to sleep with James; he should want to.

"Thanks Carlos, it's means a lot," he says as calmly as his enraged mind can. "Now maybe Logan can be a boyfriend I can hold on to." He awkwardly laughs. Carlos eyes him funnily, getting uncomfortable by James' plastered smile.

"James, Logan does like you. Don't over think this or compare it with the past. You have him." The teen pauses, breathing a heavy breath. "He's lucky to have you."

Now it's James' turn to see Carlos' uneasy, forced smile. It causes a wrench in his stomach, regretting that once again, he selfishly took if not stole something from Carlos. "Carlos. Are you ok?" James asks, referring to the sleep, placid boy on the bed.

"Yea, I'm fine. Why?"

"Nothing." James doesn't want to press further. Why would he? Why would he want to force his friend to say what he fears, that he, like himself, is in love with Logan? And he knows if Carlos just admits it to Logan, Logan would drop James and get with Carlos in a heartbeat, giving James a heart attack. "It's just seems like you're... distracted and all."

"No, I'm fine. I was just scared that Logan could have died. I couldn't let him right?"

"I guess you're right." He agrees. "So Carlos... Do you want to do something? The three of us can grab breakfast or something."

Carlos peeks at Logan stirring on the bed. He would love to but being around both James and Logan together would cause too much tension. "I can't. I have to go to work."

"Oh ok. Sorry."

"No it's ok. I rather make sure Logan is ok then go to work on time." Carlos adds, trying to comfort his friend. James bites his lips guiltily and Carlos sees it. "Actually James, I know how you can convince Logan to stay with you." He offers, picking through his closet.

"Really, how?"

...

After hanging out in Carlos' house, watching TV with Logan, the couple returns back to James' house. It's late and dark. James hoped that he could stay at Carlos' house, waiting to surprise the worker at night but Carlos texted me that he is doing a double shift until ten at night; way too late, pass Logan's curfew for them to wait.

"Brush you teeth, Logan," James commands, watching the shorter brunette taking out his old toothbrush and toothpaste, which he took from Carlos' bathroom, of his pocket. James told him that he brought Logan a brand new one but the boy insisted on using the one Carlos gave him. It didn't make sense to the rich boy. Why can't Logan just use the new one James gave him? Why can't he throw the old, ugly one Carlos gave him? The new one is perfectly fine, great in fact. The one James gave him is perfect and expensive. It's better than the cheap one Carlos had lying around; so why does Logan choose Carlos' over James'?

He groans again, reaching the same answer. It's not fair that Logan doesn't understand the effects of his mundane actions but James can't yell at him. He promised not to yell at Logan. And beside, what if Logan breaks up with him over a little toothbrush?

"Your turn." Logan jumps out, bouncing around James. The smile really is infectious, instantly lifting James' mood. "James can brush his teeth."

"Alright," James giggles, walking to do his routine in the bathroom. He finishes his normally hour long process, ready to sleep. Logan is patiently waiting, playing with the wrinkles of the bed sheets. He snickers joyously, stretching and crumpling the thousand thread count covers.

"Alright Logan. Time for bed." He surprises the brunette, picking and tossing him into the air onto the fluffy mattress. Logan laughs, curling up for James to do it again.

"Again! Again!" James obliges, having his moment of fun with him. Soon, after ten tosses, James pants tiredly.

"Ok, Logan. Time for bed." James tickles him until both boys are under the wooly blanket. "Where is my goodnight kiss?" James taunts. The other boy grins and presses his lips on James' lightly. "Do you feel better, sleeping with me?" Logan nods. "Will you run away again?" Logan pouts, freezing at the question. He doesn't answer, unsure of himself.

"Well, Carlos gave me something to give you."

"Carlitos!" Logan yanks the toy from James' hands, hugging it deathly tight. "I miss you. Don't you ever run away from me again."

James laughs, admiring Logan's innocence. He scoots closer to Logan, arms resting over Logan's side. Surprisingly, James expected Logan to shift or move but the cute boy stays still, already fast asleep with the dog clutched to his body. James chuckles, wearing a content grin. Finally, something good happened in his new relationship.

"Night Logan."

* * *

><p>This is my favorite chapter (so far). I love parts where Logan seeks Carlos for protection. Lol. Next chapter is … interestingfunny/mature (still teen rating, no smut. Smut would ruin the integrity of the story.). Logan wants answers but Carlos is not ready to give "the talk" ;].

Please Review. =]


	8. Curiouser and Curiouser

Sorry if anyone thought this chapter is going to be smutty because I said this chapter is more mature. Smut, even though I enjoy it, would ruin the integrity of the story. Maybe in a sequel or epilogue-like chapter I might talk about.

This chapter is meh, sorry. But on the bright side, cargan ;].

* * *

><p><strong>Curiouser and Curiouser<strong>

The next morning is just as quiet as yesterday's. Waking up in the empty home feels different. Carlos isn't used to it. After living alone for the past years, Carlos embraced the introvert nature of being alone and independent but within a week of forced living with someone, Carlos can't shake the lonely feelings he developed. He used to live alone but he never once thought that he was lonely. Now, even under the same conditions, the house being his and only his, he truly feels loneliness.

Quiet is something he's not used to anymore. Where are the crazy, bouncing off the walls and verbal fights about who gets the bathroom first? Who in the right mind would want to fight in the morning, especially for the bathroom rights? Not anyone normal but Carlos can't help but miss it. He walks slowly to the bathroom as if he hopes someone, anyone, Logan, to yell out "me first," but that's not possible no matter how much Carlos wishes for it. His morning trip to brush is as mundane as it always was.

But the tranquility doesn't stop there unfortunately. Making food is dead quiet without the little, whiny complaints of "make me pancakes," or "what is that? I want pancake." Carlos hasn't had omelets in a long time and that's his favorite breakfast, just a nice, fluffy omelet with cheese, eggs and bacon. He likes it all but even with the strong smell of all the savory components cooking at once doesn't cheer him. It would have been better if he just make pancake.

And he does. He doesn't do for the sake of wanting or a craving. He just makes it involuntarily; his body moving on its own. He doesn't get it. Why does he chuck his favorite breakfast into the trash and replace it for pancakes? It's doesn't make sense why Carlos is sitting down with two plates of the puffy breakfast, one plain just the way he likes it and the other completely drowned in maple syrup, just the way Logan likes it.

He sighs, wiping his eyes of the nonexistent dust drifting in the air. Staring at the plate in front of him, he can't seem to eat. The food is appetizing. It's perfectly made, golden brown on both side with fresh fruits. It's a breakfast fit for champions but something empty is stopping him. His lap is unusually free of the hundred twenty pound that typically sits on it. He normally had to maneuver his fork around a body in front of him just to feed himself but now, his spoon can go directly from the plate to his mouth. But, oddly enough, the freed lap, the easiness of eating, all of them make him lose his appetite.

He misses the ball of sun kissed innocence making his morning chaotic and difficult. Logan is a bother in the morning but Carlos grew like it in the short spam of time. But now, Logan is gone.

_Ding! Dong! _The doorbell rings, snapping Carlos out of his somber remorse. He disregards the many rings, getting up and walking to the door at his own sluggish pace.

"Carlos!" As soon as the door opens, a brunette jumps through, almost knocking Carlos to the floor with his viselike hug. "I'm hungry! I want pancake!" Logan bounces, skipping around the surprise Latino. Carlos just stares dumbfounded at his taller friend standing outside the door with pleading eyes.

"What are you guys doing here?" Carlos finally asks. He detracts his hand from Logan's excitedly swinging one.

"I'm hungry!" Logan repeats. A whiff of sweet aroma catches his tickled nose, making the curious brunette fly through the house to the kitchen.

Alone with his pretty friend, Carlos invites James into the hallway, wanting to close the front door from inviting in the cold draft. "What are you guys doing here?" Carlos asks his friend again.

"Logan was craving pancake and you know I can't cook." James answers.

"Why can't you just buy pancake? You have a diner like five blocks down from your house." Carlos crooks his neck, crossing his arms.

"Because your pancakes are better and you should hang out with Logan. I can't monopolize my boyfriend all the time." James awkwardly laughs, playfully slapping Carlos' shoulder. Carlos doesn't buy it, standing perfectly stoic. Knowing that he can't pull one over his friend, James sighs and resorts to telling Carlos the real reason.

"Fine Carlos. My mom called me this morning. She said she needs a male model to be the spokesmen and cover of her men's night regime products. She is doing the shoot now in a couple of hours and I can't leave Logan alone for the whole day. Plus, my mother will freak if I show up with Logan bouncing around the studio. Please look after Logan today. I really want this job. Do you know that if I do well today, I can be a real, full pledge model?"

"Yea but James, I have stuff to do today. I can't just sit around and watch Logan as if it's nothing," Carlos lies, shaking his head. It's not that Carlos wouldn't want to be around Logan and he's actually free today but Logan is James' boyfriend. And he doesn't understand why now that Logan is not living with him, he develops certain feelings for the tinier brunette. Maybe he had feelings for Logan all along but why does it hurt more now? "James, I have stuff to do."

"Please Carlos. You owe me one, remember? I watched Logan for you. Please do it for me now." He continues to beg but Carlos is adamant in his position.

"Carlos! Can I have more?" They hear Logan yell from the kitchen. James follows it with Carlos straight behind him. Reaching the last room of the house, James guiltily looks at the table of two almost done plates of pancakes. One, he supposes is Carlos' and the other must have been for someone Carlos was expecting.

"Sorry Carlos." James turns to face his friend. "I didn't know you were expecting company and now Logan ate both breakfasts you made."

"No, it's fine." Carlos sighs, watching Logan ripping through his plate of hotcakes with his sticky hands. "I wasn't expecting anyone." He whispers sadly, still watching Logan eating the breakfast he unconsciously made for them. "You know what James, I'll watch Logan."

"Really!" James joyfully shrieks; face lighting up with the smile that got him the modeling gig. Carlos nods his head as James pulls him into a dangerously tight hug. "Thanks, best bud! I will make it up to you."

"It's fine. Just get that job." Carlos sounds through his crushing vocal chords.

"Don't worry," James winks. "I will model harder than I ever did knowing my best friend is behind me."

Carlos shakes his head, laughing. "That just means you'll stand there and be pretty."

"And you know it." James ecstatically retorts, fixing his jacket. He waves to Logan, saying his goodbye before walking down the hallway with his friend trailing. Closing the door, Carlos groans as he walks back to the kitchen. What was going to be a day of being alone is turning into a day of hanging out with the one person that baffles him. It's bad enough that Carlos thinks about Logan when he's gone let alone actually having Logan in his house.

"I'm done!" Logan hyper actively informs his host. He giggles, smiling widely with his maple syrup covered lips and playing with his sticky hands. Carlos couldn't help but smile, the exhausted scowl disappearing from his face like magic. "Hi Carlos!"

"Hi Logan." Carlos greets back. He shakes his head, thinking that Logan is loaded with sugar and that is not good. Logan on sugar is worst than anything. This means Logan is going to be bouncing off walls and jumping on his bed and destroying his house but even though Carlos is thinking about all the disasters Hurricane Logan will cause, the smile doesn't get swept off his face.

"Come on Logan. I got to get you cleaned up before you touch everything with maple syrup." He commands him, watching Logan trying to pull apart his hands with the adhesive binding them. A chuckle escapes Carlos' mouth when he sees the pout Logan dons, trying persistently to break apart the binding hold.

"The trick is to run it under hot water," Carlos explains, holding both of Logan's hands under the flowing faucet in the bathroom. Logan giggles, having Carlos' rough hands holding firmly on his wrists and feeling the cold water heating to lukewarm.

"It tickles," Logan laughs, hands slowly coming apart. "Car," he whines, trying to remove his hands from Carlos' hold. "I can wash my hands. I'm a big boy now."

"No, you are my Logan." He looks up, blushing that he accidentally called Logan his when Logan is James'. "I mean, I know you're going to make a mess and in the end, I will have to clean it."

"You're funny Carlos," Logan giggles, making his dimples more prominent against his pale cheeks. Carlos couldn't help but join his fit, soaping the stickiness in between the wedges of Logan's finger . "Hey Carlos?"

"Yea?"

"Why do I have to be clean?" Logan asks, licking his lips. Carlos eyes Logan's wild tongue, noticing instead of tasting the maple, Logan is spreading the sap.

"Because I don't like being dirty." With his wet thumb, Carlos wipes across the crease of Logan's lips. He repeats again, cupping one of Logan's cheeks with his other free hand. He lingers. His hands rest on the dimple and his thumb pressing on the corner of Logan's lips. "When you're dirty, you feel disgusting and make a mess."

"But I like playing with my pancakes." The boy pouts, folding a hand on Carlos', fondling the one on his cheek. "Can't I get dirty but promise to clean after? I promise to be clean."

Carlos chuckles. "Why are you making a promise all of a sudden?"

"Because Carlos doesn't like dirty. I want Carlos to like me." Logan says a-matter-of-factly, beaming happily.

"Don't worry Logan. I like you." Carlos stokes the dimple once, staring into Logan's eye, feeling his head gravitating. Logan's head creeps foreword as well. Carlos' eyes heavily fall, hiding his pupils from reality, shielding him for thinking about the consequences.

_Shoot_.

Logan presses his lips on Carlos before he gradually opens his eyes. Confused, he realizes Carlos turned his head half a second before their lips could have connected. His head crooks, watching a blush forming on Carlos' round cheeks.

"Logan, we can't-" Carlos stops as Logan clamps both of his cupped palms on Carlos' cheeks. The brunette deeply stares into Carlos' eyes with his brown ones. "Logan?"

"Don't move." Logan singularly commands, thrusting foreword faster than the first time, determined to seal lips. But the same as before, Carlos averts the situation, covering his opening with his hand.

The wild, adamant boy glares at his fruitless attempts, pushing Carlos to the floor. Groaning from his head colliding on the tiles of the bathroom, Carlos quickly shields his mouth with both of his hands. But with speed and the energy from the maple syrup, Logan locks and pins both hands above the Latino's head, straddling his waist. "Don't move," he commands once more, leaning down at his target.

"I won't like you!" Carlos yells, shocking his friend. At the words, Logan freezes, loosening his grip on Carlos' wrist. They stay in their position for a moment before Logan shakes off to Carlos' side and cradles his knees to his chest. He rocks back and forth; eyes brim a layer of tears.

"No..." Carlos sits up, reaching for Logan's knee but the boy pushes the hand away. Pain pierces Carlos' chest as he blames himself for causing Logan to ball up like this. "No Logan. I'm sorry, I like you. Don't cry."

"I wanted to kiss you but you won't let me," he cries, hammering the floor with his fist. "My mouth is clean but you won't let me kiss you."

"I'm sorry, Logie." Carlos comforts, reaching for the hand again but Logan retracts, still mad. "But please understand me. You have a boyfriend and you can only kiss your boyfriend. I'm sorry but you can only kiss James, Logie."

Carlos waits for his buddy to react, hopefully peacefully but he knows Logan better. The young kid is expected to throw a tantrum and to force Carlos into the kiss but surprisingly, Logan stops hitting the floor and stares at Carlos.

"That's why you won't kiss me?" Carlos nods his head, watching Logan calm down, moving his legs from his chest to a crossed position. "It's not because I am broken?"

"Broken?" Carlos questions. "How are you broken?"

Rather than explaining or because he doesn't know how, Logan nervously grabs Carlos' hand. And in one swift motion, with his free hand, he pulls the front of his pant open enough for him to shove Carlos' hand onto his naked groin. A shock jolts through Carlos' body, not expecting this at all. He jumps back, yells and clutches his soiled hand. He blushes, surprised that Logan forcing him to palm his genital.

"See," Logan sobs, covering his eyes with his hands. "Carlos doesn't like me because I am broken."

"What does that have to do with being broken?" Carlos shrieks, heat coursing to his red cheeks. He rushes to the bath tub, thoroughly washing his hand. Logan takes his friend's sudden action as an indication of his failed body and cries louder. "Logie, stop crying. I don't know what that was for but you can't go around making people touch your... it." Carlos points to "it."

"But I don't let anyone, only Carlos." His broken voice cracks at each word, making it harder for him to breathe or speak.

"Come here." Carlos gingerly wraps his arms around Logan's body, swaying him comfortingly. "It's fine, Logan. I'm not mad, just surprised. You can't let anyone touch you there, even me, ok? One day you will understand more. You'll understand that that... thingie is very important and special. Don't let people touch it, ok? Promise me."

"O-ok Carlos. I promise but..." Logan clutches Carlos' sleeves, wiping his tears on the Latino's shirt. "But it's broken."

"Logie, it's not broken. Can you go to the bathroom? Does it hurt?" Logan shakes his head into the soft cotton of Carlos' hoodie. "Then what is the problem?"

"Please promise me you'll still like me." Logan peels his face from Carlos, looking up with his defenseless, weak eyes. Carlos wipes the dry tear trails on the brunette's face and nods. "Sometime, it gets hard for no reason. It never happened before. Sometime it gets hard and I don't know..." He continues crying, ducking his head from Carlos, scared that Carlos would judge him.

"Logie," he raises the tear stained head, brimming a smile. "That is normal. You are not broken. This happens to boys when they grow up."

"But why? Why does this happen?" He anxiously storms Carlos with questions; his mind begging for answers, answers that Carlos doesn't want to give.

"Logie, I can't tell you yet," Carlos replies, wanting to protect Logan's innocence. The young boy shouldn't be exposed to this mature matter yet. "This is a part of life. This is something that happens to all boys and it means you are normal. I promise to explain it when you are older but for now, you have to trust me."

"Ok Carlos." Logan nods, wrapping his arms around Carlos, thanking him for the support. "Then I have to wait to know why when my thingie gets hard, I want to kiss and touch your thingie too, right?"

The alarming question resonates in Carlos' unprepared mind. He is not ready to give "the talk" to anyone or explain and understand it himself that Logan is sexually attracted to him. This is not part of Carlos' job of sheltering him.

"Sure Logie. I will explain all of it later." He smiles, giving Logan one final squeeze.

"Can I watch TV now?" Logan pouts, completely over his depressing moment. "I promise to be clean and not make a mess."

Carlos nods his head but something jumbles his mind. It's a bad thought but it won't stop bashing Carlos' brain until he asks. "Hey Logan?" The hyper boy turns around before jumping out the door. Carlos takes a deep breath, standing up. "Does it you know..." He points to Logan's genitals. "Happen when you see James?"

Logan purses his lips, recalling every single moment he spent with the tall model. "Nope," Logan answers, shaking his head. "It's only happens when I see you. It first happened in the dark, scary room with your Papi when you let me lay on you and smell you. Why? Am I broken?"

"No, no. I was just... wondering. Thanks Logan. You can watch TV." Carlos turns a deeper, richer shade of red as Logan skips to the living room. The Latino turns to the mirror, staring at the man he sees. It's not Logan who is broken, it's him. He's the one shattered with feelings that he can't believe. He can't fall for him, his best friend's boyfriend, but it's becoming so hard. Carlos knows now that Logan has sexual feelings for him and it's makes matters worst. How can he live, sit next to the brunette without the buzzing noise that the boy he possibly if not is in love with wants Carlos to touch and kiss him? It's driving Carlos crazy that he finally wants Logan but it's too late. He's taken by James.

Taking another deep, deep breath, Carlos mediates his emotions, preparing himself to be able to stay with Logan in his home without acting upon his suppressed feelings.

"He-he," Logan giggles, scrunching his dimpled face at the dancing yellow sponge on the TV. His body bounces with each fit, showing how engrossed the boy is to the fictional show. "Bring it around town," Logan repeats after the TV, hugging the couch pillow to his chest.

Carlos grins, shaking his head, remembering the times he would just laugh at small moments years ago. Oh how he misses the day when he just sat on his couch, watching the exact same show and burst into fits without a care in the world. It's those moments Carlos feels are the simple pleasures in life and seeing Logan enjoying them, makes Carlos feel nostalgic.

"See something you like?" Carlos takes a seat on the adjacent cushion, tapping Logan's thigh. The brunette shines his teeth at Carlos, not annoyed anymore when someone interrupts his TV time especially when that person interrupting is Carlos.

"SpongeBob and Patrick are really good friends," he observes, pointing to the yellow and pink friends on the screen. "They blow bubbles together and go on adventures."

"So you want to blow bubbles and go on adventures?" Carlos asks. Logan shakes his head, poking at Carlos' stomach.

"I want a friend to do stuff together with. I want a friend to give me piggyback rides and share pancakes with like Spongebob and Patrick." He explains.

"That's what we do." Carlos chuckles fondly. "I give you piggyback rides and make you pancake. Of course you eat my pancakes but I guess it's the same concept."

"But I want someone more than a best friend." Logan crawls onto Carlos' lap. Abruptly, Carlos pushes him off, face burning again but that doesn't stop Logan. He tries again and Carlos pushing him off. He gives up and stares at the screen. "I want someone special."

"Logan..." Carlos starts as awkwardly as before, not knowing how to beginning a calm conversation with him. "You do have someone special... You have James."

"But I want you to be my special someone. I want us to be like SpongeBob and Patrick." Logan whimpers, creeping once more into Carlos' legs but Carlos jerks back. "Why won't you like me?"

"I do like you, Logan." He reaches out his hand but Logan slaps it away. "Logie, I can't let you sit on me?"

"Why? Is it because it is broken when I sit on you?" Logan shrieks.

"You are not broken. You are perfect."

"Then why not? I am clean. Why can't I sit on you? You let me before." Logan whines, his voice climbing to higher pitch.

Carlos sighs, pinching his forehead. How can he explain to Logan that it's not Logan "breaking" is the problem. It's Carlos breaking that is the problem and he isn't referring to his private. Everything will break if Carlos lets Logan in. The blushing Latino will affirm his feelings for Logan, wanting for Logan but he can't. Logan has a boyfriend, his best friend no less and to get Logan into a messy, mature situation is not something Carlos wants for him. It's better to hide his feelings and wait for Logan to out grow his and fall for James.

That's all Carlos can hope for, for Logan's sake. Logan doesn't deserve to be in a mature situation with his innocence like a new baby.

"Logan, please. I know you don't understand being 'broken' and boyfriends but trust me, I would never do anything to hurt you or make you sad." Carlos coaxes the crying boy. "I want you to be able to do whatever you want but-"

"I have a boyfriend." Logan finishes Carlos' sentence, surprising his raven hair friend.

"Yea. How'd you know I was going to say that?"

"Because everything changed when James asked me to be his boyfriend." Logan states, his head dropping. "After the beach, you won't let me sit on you after I told you."

"Logie," Carlos sweetly calls. "I'm not doing this to punish you. No, I would never do that but you can only-"

"Do that to my boyfriend, James." Logan recites, his eyes rolling with annoyance. "It's not fair. Being a boyfriend is hard. There are too many rules and I don't like rules."

"I'm sorry Logan. It's hard. But in the end, having a boyfriend is good, especially James. He is rich and he can buy anything you want, maybe even a real Doggy or something. I don't know but James is perfect." Carlos tries to keep a straight, strong face but it's breaking. Holding his wall of lies becomes hard to keep. "James is perfect."

"Maybe," he sighs, his face twisting in thought. "Wait Carlos." His face lights up as he waits for Carlos to look at him. "Can I have two boyfriends?"

Carlos furrows his eyebrows as latent anger surfaces. He balls his fist into the cushion, remembering his last girlfriend asking him the exact same question before she dumped him. But this is Logan asking, sweet and innocent Logan. Carlos breathes, suppressing his rage.

"You can't have two boyfriends." The answer causes Logan to wallow back to where he started. "That is not fair to James."

"Is it fair to you?" Logan asks, watching and studying Carlos' slightest movements but the Latino stays still, thinking. Carlos doesn't want to answer, knowing one answer is the truth and the other is a hurtful lie.

"Here." Carlos rests his open palm in between them. Logan questioningly stares at the gesture. "Best friends can hold hands."

Logan smiles, grabbing and holding the hand with both of his. "Thanks Carlos."

"No problem but... promise me you will kiss James," he requests. Logan nods, engrossed and ecstatic at the small gift Carlos gave him. "Promise me you will give James a chance. Sit on him. Show James that he is..." Carlos coughs, choking on his words. The request burns like cheap alcohol stinging down his throat. "Is your boyfriend."

"I promise." Logan returns to a proper sitting position, locking and tangling their fingers together. "If Carlos tells me to sit on James, I will do it. I'll do everything Carlos asks me."

...

Returning back to his new home, Logan still feels uneasy. The bedroom doesn't harbor monsters or aliens Logan is scared of but the tense feeling of being with James gives him the chills.

"Go brush your teeth first. I have to text some people." James commands, giving Logan a kiss on his matted sideburn before sitting on the floor with his phone ready in hand.

"Ok," Logan responds. After finishing his routine, he stares at his boyfriend still typing on the tiny screen. It's a bit scary, Logan thinks, assuming that sitting on his boyfriend is the end of the world. But Carlos told him to try it and Logan will do anything Carlos asks of him.

"Whoa, Logan." James gleefully, excitedly vocalizes. He puts his phone down, welcoming Logan into his arms and lap. "You never sat on me before, what changed?"

"Nothing." Logan answers, staring up at James' hazel, greenish pupils. It's now or never. With a quick second, Logan straightens his back, capturing James' lips in a hard, rough kiss. Taken by surprise, James freezes but accepts the strong gesture.

_Pop_. Logan pulls back, licking his lips. _Nothing_. Nothing strange happened. Logan checks, seeing if that something is "broken" like when he used to sit on Carlos but nothing. Nothing changed. And the kiss; It was good, but nothing. Logan has a feeling in his mind that if kissing is special and Carlos said you only kiss your boyfriend then kissing James has to be special, right? But kissing James was just kissing, nothing more. He wonders if he kissed Carlos, would he feel that strange something more?

"Logan?" James shakes and calls him, noticing his boyfriend drafting into a daydream. Logan blinks a couple of times and James laughs. "You never kissed me without me asking you to. Someone wants something, doesn't he? I heard someone wants a real dog," he sings.

Logan sighs, and rests his head in the crook of James' neck and shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong?" James comforts, wrapping his arms around Logan. "You can tell me."

"Carlos won't let me kiss him." Logan whispers the confession, making James' hands slip from Logan's back.

The taller brunette doesn't know how to respond to that. _What do you say to your boyfriend when he just confesses his feelings for his best friend and wanting to kiss him no less?_ James shakes his head, thinking this is just as heartbreaking as his other relationships or worst. With his past relationships, his boyfriends secretly cheated on him. Now, Logan openly confesses his love for Carlos. What can he do to stop his pain?

"It's ok," is the only thing he can think of to tell his boyfriend. "I still love you."

* * *

><p>I don't know when I can update the next few chapters. I have two weeks left of school, meaning five finals and eight projectsreports... And I am going on vacation right after to a lot of countries in Asia where internet is not too great. =[ Sorry.

But I promise this, if everyone reads and reviews **carlosgarcia**'s story, "Just ask me," I'll try to update before I get on the airplane. lol Of course that means no sleep for the next two weeks but if her story, which is my current obsession, gets a spike in r/r, I'll do whatever I can to update =]. I am in love with the story.

Please review =].


	9. The Cheshire Cat

I am going to be on hiatus-ish for the next few weeks… sorry =[. I'm going on vacation to Vietnam, Singapore and Malaysia; a mini trip lol. But I do have 22 hours on a plane (44 hours, both ways) for more writing and I have the next chapter written. =] I hope to post it halfway in my vacation. =]

* * *

><p><strong>The Cheshire Cat<strong>

"Come on, Logan." James nudges him, forcing a smile. The shorter brunette grins, placing a twig on their masterpiece of a castle they made in the tiny sandbox before walking with James to their next destination.

"Where are we going?" He asks, leading his boyfriend to the other neck of the large park. "Are we going on a mission or be spies?" James shakes his head, his silence adding more to the surprise. Logan thinks really hard, walking with a gleeful spring in his step. "Come on, Jamie. What is the secret?"

"We are going to do my favorite thing in the park." The model answers, not helping the boy pinpoint the activity. Logan went to the park twice prior, so the details of the green wonderland elude him. "We are going to swing." James dashes ahead and stands at the pendulums.

Logan, confused at the contraption ahead, studies the metal bars, checking if it is sturdy. "What do we do?"

"Well..." Sensing that Logan is reluctant, James jumps on his swing and starts propelling himself. "You jump on and try to fly as high as you can," he explains, letting the wind blow a smile on his face. Logan, still a bit timid of the idea of being in the middle of the air, takes a seat on rusty plank. He tests the mechanics first, kicking the ground with his long legs and tries to push his core into the air but fails. James laughs, enjoying the adorable scowl on Logan's face from unsuccessfully copying him.

"I give up." Logan huffs, crossing his arms across his chest. James slows down, stomping his feet on the ground to come to a complete stop. He gives Logan a thumbs-up but the boy scowls harder, taking the gesture as a taunt. "This is no fun."

"You can't give up after one try." James advises. Hopping off of his seat, James stands behind him. He gives a gentle push, making Logan shriek with fear.

"What are you doing?" The boy yells, clutching the chains tighter until his knuckles turn pale white, scared that he might fall. "This is scary, James!" He cries but James doesn't stop. "I'm going to fall."

"No, you're not," James continues to push but after he sees a tear slips from his boyfriend's eyes, he stops and sighs. "Sorry Logan. I didn't know you're that scared of swings."

"I-it ok," he sobs; his eyes still closed and legs pulled to his chest even though his swing is static. Eventually he opens his sealed tight eyes, and contently releases the heavy breath he was harboring.

James returns to his seat and swings slowly, feeling guilty for forcing his boyfriend into something he doesn't like or fearful of trying. "Sorry Logan. Do you forgive me?"

Logan smiles weakly at the apology, loosening his death grin on the metal chains. "It's ok. Why do you like going?"

"Like what? Going to the park?" James asks, getting a nod from the boy. "Well, it's a long story but it started years ago. My parents worked everyday and night so they didn't take me to the park often or at all. The first time I went to the park was five years ago with Carlos."

"Carlos." Logan's face lights up, the dimples prominently showing on his cheeks. James sighs again, finding that it isn't fair that at the drop of Carlos' name, Logan becomes instantly happier. Why can't he be flooded with joy when James' name is spoken? "Carlos took you to the park?" What did you do? Did you play in the sand? Or on the grass? Or-"

"Whoa Logan!" James cuts the over enthused boy off before his flurry of questions gives him a headache. "Yes, Carlos took me to the park. He was the one who showed me how peaceful and relaxing the giant patch of grass is. He taught me that if I am ever overwhelmed with depression, running in the park is the best cure. The wind, the fresh air, the sounds of my breaths and the tranquil colors of the trees and sky all are the medicine to take my mind off of whatever was bothering me."

"Carlos taught you all that?" The other boy curiously asks, pondering over how someone can hear his own breath.

"Yea, he did." James whispers. Memories come back to him. Whenever James got dumped or found out the guy he's dating cheated on him, James would go to the park for a long countless-miles run. At first, his runs were sobbing sprints of angrily yelling at the wind, stomping at fifteen miles an hour but then he slows down, taking Carlos' advice.

"_The point of the park is not to lash out your anger and sadness. It's where you let nature comfort you, showing you that no matter how out of balance you are with your emotions, you will return back to normal." _That's what Carlos taught him and for the more part, it worked. James would run, sometime walk and feel better, returning to a happier time.

"Carlos taught me a lot of things, Logan." James softly answers with a grin on his face.

"Carlos is your hero, too." He interjects, swinging his seat. He isn't flying or moving much, but Logan seems to be trying out the mechanics of how to swing. "He is your friend when everyone else is mean. He makes you cake to cheer you up, like pancakes. They always cheer me up. And Carlos teaches you how to be happy."

"I guess you can say that he is my hero."

"Because Carlos is my hero. He saved me when I am sad or feeling bad. I am always happy when I am with Carlos."

James shakes his head and looks down at the black matted floor. There it is again, Logan's confession for Carlos. It's becoming more and more frequent. Yesterday, what was supposed to be a tender moment of Logan kissing him turned into a confession of wanting to kiss Carlos. And today, Logan says he finds happiness in their Latino friend. Isn't that what boyfriends are supposed to be? Aren't boyfriends supposed to want to kiss each other, making each other happy? That's what James thought love is. So why is it so hard to get Logan to love him, his actual boyfriend?

"Hey Logan?" James calls the cheeky, bouncing boy. Logan turns and smiles, waiting for James' question. "Kiss me?"

At first, Logan is unresponsive, not hearing the sudden request but when James leans foreword with his lips slightly purged, Logan thinks he might as well mimic, giving his boyfriend what he wants. The kiss is short lived, lasting no more than a short second. It ends with a happy expression on James' lips and a confused one on Logan's. James' face quickly drops, wondering why the other boy is so perplexed after their single kiss. It's not like it was their first one.

"Hey, Logan. What's the matter?" He asks softly, eying Logan gently touching his delicate lips.

"Nothing, Carlos told me that I can only kiss my boyfriend." Logan replies but a burning question etches in his mind. "But Jamie, why do people kiss?" He seen people kiss on TV before but never knew why. Whenever the man pulls the woman into his arms, whispering prose with strong eyes, they kiss and they kiss hard. Afterward, they would smile but not a normal smile. Even though they are actors, the smile after their kiss is special and foreign to the boy that he just wants to know why his lips doesn't curl like the ones on TV.

"Well, people kiss when they are in love."

"Love? Like in the Barney song?"

"I guess you can say that but that is just a song. Love in real life is different."

"What is love in real life?" He asks. James doesn't completely know how to explain; the concept of love has eluded him for the last few years from failed relationships. James can give him the dictionary definition for the word but normally a generic definition for a second hand emotion doesn't accurately explain what it is.

"Love is when you have strong feelings for someone. You know you're in love when that person you love hurts you, makes you sad but you're still happy with that person and want to live with him forever." James says referring to all of the pain Logan's confession caused him. "Love is when you don't care what the person asks you. You will do it because you know that doing it will make the one you love happy, maybe even love you back. And the person you love is the one you can always trust. If you ever have a problem or something bothering you, you know you can always go to that person. You can't really definite what love is but when you're in love you will know it."

"Wow. Love is a hard word and it's only four letters long," Logan states, deep in thought. He rocks in his swing, his mind trying to wrap around the new vocabulary and its lengthy definition. He dissects the definition part by part. The person you love can make you sad but no matter what you're happy with him.

One person comes to mind.

You do whatever that person tells you to do because you love him and want to make him happy.

The same person comes to mind.

And you can trust him with any problem. There is one person Logan can think of that he goes to whenever he has a problem, big or small. He trusts him because at the end of the day, Logan knows he can solve any of Logan's problems.

"Hey Logan?" James calls once again, biting his lower lip. He's nervous, his palms sweating against the rusty chain. Logan looks up, snapping out of his mental conversation with himself. James' palms get clammier and his body shivers with anxiety. He wanted to say this for a long time but fearing that Logan would grow up, lose his innocence and reject him like the past boyfriends, he never built the courage to confess before.

"Hm?"

"I love you." James blurts out, panting heavily but glad that he releases his tension. His lips curl a bit, happy that he's able to over step this obstacle in his relationship and just say it, he loves Logan. But even with James' excitement, it doesn't seem like Logan is affected at all. The thinner boy stares at him with lost eyes but they aren't typically the lost eyes James dealt with. These eyes are confused, not of James' confession but of something else, something James fears. "Logan, I just said I love you." The model repeats, extending a hand on his shoulder.

"What? Oh sorry James. I was just thinking." Logan shakes out of his thoughts.

"What were you thinking about? Maybe, I can help." James offers.

"I was thinking about love and how you know if you're in love." Logan states. "How did you know you love me?"

The question sets him off when he assumed the worst. James releases his held breath, relieved that Logan did listen to him and not think about something else, or someone else.

"I know I am in love with you because I can tell you all of my secrets without feeling like you will hurt me. I know because when I am with you, I am happier than I ever been and it never stops. You can tell me do anything and I'll happily do it. That is how I know. Logan, I love you." James smiles, waiting for Logan's reaction but the other boy sits there, still pondering. "Logan, do you get it?"

"A bit. James, can I ask you something?" Logan whispers in a hush secret tone. James nods his head. "Does that mean I love Carlos?"

_Carlos_.

The one person James feared Logan was thinking about is true. Carlos, his crazy childhood friend and the guy his boyfriend just again confessed for, shatters more of his hopeful heart. It wouldn't hurt as much if Logan confesses to his current boyfriend with a hint of guilt but no. Logan's confession was as clear as the day's sun, and James knows he is losing him. Logan will soon realize James is not worthy and do what everyone did to James, break his heart.

"I-it might." James stutters. Again after countless failed relationships, he still doesn't know how to react or respond to his boyfriends when they tell him, he is not the one, that James is just a toy to play with or a temporary boyfriend until the expiration date is up. Logan's confession hurts, but knowing that collectively everyone he dated rejected him, hurts even more.

"Hey, it's Carlos." Logan observes over James' shoulders. The taller friend turns his head and sees Carlos in sweats, taking a jog around the park. "Carlos!" Logan yells, swinging his arm in the air. James squints his eyes, holding back the tears that are trying to escape because of Logan's sudden increased happiness at see the one he really loves.

At first, Carlos panics, trying to pretend to turn around and jog back to where he came from but once James saw him, he knows there's no hiding from both of his friends.

"Hey guys. Funny meeting you at the park." Carlos pants from his runs. "Are you ok, James?" Carlos asks, noticing James' dropped expression.

"Never better." The brunette stands up and faces the gate. "I am going for a walk. Do you mind watching Logan for a while? I haven't jogged all day."

"Wait, James." Carlos calls before James can escape. "I came to the park to run too and I have be home in twenty."

"Please Carlos, just watch him." James' voice breaks and cracks. Masking his emotions becomes harder.

"Yay Car! Please watch me." Logan begs and giggles, trying to grab his hand.

"Logan! We can't do that." Carlos shrieks, retracting his hand from the boy. "James is your boyfriend."

"I don't care." James sharply cries before running off, not waiting for an answer from his friend. He doesn't look back, afraid that if he does, he will see Logan confessing his love to Carlos and that is just to painful to watch.

Half a lap down, James collapses on a green bench, heaving and panting. He can sprint three laps without even starting to lose his breath but now, his body is just all over the place, just like his mind.

James thinks about how Logan can just confess like that, one after one and ending with the ultimate confession, the L word. He knows Logan is a young kid and he definitely knows kids are evil, truthful little demons as experienced through childhood with countless cases of bullying but he never thought Logan would break him with those words.

He cries into his palms, scared that if he looks up, he would see over the hill Logan and Carlos are kissing, his best friend claiming his boyfriend. He knows it's impossible. Carlos is the best friend he ever had and he would never do that to James but the delusions still hurt. He pictures Carlos stroking Logan's dimples, Logan smiling that he is in the arms of the one he confesses about, Carlos telling Logan to lean on his body, Logan doing so and resting his hands on Carlos' firm pecs, (the ones he praises) and they ending the moment with a sealed kiss. He can't imagine what the reality is or how bad it really is. Maybe Carlos is taunting him, ripping off Logan's clothing, doing perverted thing, moaning painful things just to hurt James. In reality, James knows they would never do that but that doesn't stop his vivid imagination.

He sighs, wiping his sweaty forehead with his palm. He shakes his head at the failed attempts to dry his forehead with the wet hand. That action was moot, just like asking Logan to be his boyfriend.

"Why can't Logan love me? I am doing everything right, right?" He reviews their relationship, wondering where he went wrong. He kept his promise to never yell at him. He worried about him. He let Logan sleep on his bed with him. Where did he go wrong?

James groans and stands up. Shoving his hands in his pocket, he continues walking, knowing that he is doing his best at being a boyfriend. Logan has to realize that.

And that makes James feel a bit happier. Knowing that he did his best does cheer him a bit, not a whole lot but a bit. James is doing his best and Logan has to realize that.

His walk speeds up to a happier pace. A faint smile laps on his face as he gets closer to the swing set.

"Yea," James whispers to himself, knowing now that eventually Logan will realize all the hard work James is doing for him and in the end will fall in love with him. Love is a bumpy road but in the end, the one who works the hardest gets to the finish line. He chuckles and closes his eye, soaking in the cool air the park has and breathes in the winter's frost.

Walking in the park does help; this time, it lifted his spirits and told him to never give up. With a spring in his steps now, James happily skips over the hill leading to his reconvening destination. But the moment he is at the top of the pile of dirt, what he sees is worst than what he imagined, a hundred times worst. What he sees is not perverted, although he prefer that it is. He would rather watch Carlos ripping Logan's clothes off and have his way on the swing instead but no, what he sees hurts him more.

Carlos is standing behind Logan's swing, pushing the boy gently in the air. Both boys have a smile on their faces, a tiny giggle in Logan's voice. Their smiles are genuine; the one James felt on countless occasions with Logan but never got back. Logan never smiled purely or even giggled in his present but with Carlos, laughing and smiling are like second nature to him. It hurts knowing that Logan wants someone else and there is nothing James can do to fix it. Logan loves Carlos and James has to figure out how to live with it.

He sighs quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets. Turning on the balls of his feet, James continues walking around the park. Maybe another lap or two would cheer him up.

...

The night was pretty quiet. The two boyfriends, parted ways in the room, doing their own things to prepare for the night's sleep. It was a test on James' behalf, trying to see if Logan needed him or wanted him but the results were fruitless. Logan did not once say anything to James. A simple good night would had been comforting but the brunette didn't even say that. James even tested Logan with his precious Carlitos doll. He placed the plush above his head, hoping the proximity of the dog would force Logan to talk to him but that failed.

"Silly," Logan said to the dog as he grabbed it; for a second while James thought the comment was for him. And that was the closest James got to speaking to his boyfriend. If James didn't initiate a conversation, he would not get a single word out of him; another sign that Logan doesn't want him.

"Hey Logan," James finally whispers to his sleeping partner after thinking for the last hour. He nudges him softly, trying to wake the deep asleep boy from his slumber.

"Hm?" Logan groans, rubbing his eyes. The room is still dark and morning isn't coming any sooner.

"Boyfriends love each other," James preaches, staring into Logan's eyes with his still hopeful but broken ones. He doesn't mean to wake up the boy but he needs to hear his boyfriend say he loved him or gives him a sign that this relationship isn't asymmetric; that Logan loves him as much as James love Logan.

"I'm tired." Logan moans, annoyed that he is awaken from his sleep. He coddles Carlitos closer to his body and falls back on the pillow.

"No wait, Logan." He shakes Logan again. "I said I love you in the park. Do you love me?"

"Can I go to sleep?" The groggy response hurts, not answering the question he asks.

"Yea, you can. Sorry Logan," he answers, slipping back under the covers and pull it to Logan' shoulders.

He turns to face the window, not being able to bear looking at Logan's back. "_What am I doing wrong,"_ James asks, wondering why Logan doesn't feel comfortable around him. He knows that comparing is the worst way to look at any situation but he can't stop thinking that if he was Carlos, Logan would be in his arms, sleeping without his clothing. It's not right that Logan can't be affectionate, sharing a genuine smile with James but with Carlos, the cheerful expression is instantly plastered on his face. "_Why can he be happy with me,"_ James asks himself as another tear falls. He hopes that maybe he is over thinking everything, that everything is fine but even hope dies after so many countless tears and broken moments.

Maybe, with the last shred of hope left in his body, James tests Logan once more to see if he has a fighting chance in this relationship. If Logan turns around tonight, any time tonight and hugs him, no, just touches him then James knows that Logan still thinks that he can go to James for protection, for love. So for the rest of the night, James lays on his side, awake, staring at his faint reflection on the window, waiting for a single touch.

But, sadly, all of the night's hours pass into the morning and nothing happens.

* * *

><p>Writing James' parts makes me really sad. James is so tormented in this but good news :), Kendall finally is going to be revealed in the next chapter ;). I'm excited for that and my vacation. =]<p>

Please review :).


	10. Advice from the Caterpillar

Yay! The chapter I've been waiting to write and post lol. There are two new characters (one you've been expecting ;)) and a lot of slash moments. And just saying, I love Kendall in this ;).

And happy Cargan Day! (May 30) :)

* * *

><p><strong>Advice from the Caterpillar<strong>

He takes a deep breath. Starting his morning is harder than what it used to be. Normally, Carlos was a morning person; he rises with the sun. The snooze button on his clock rang once and that was good enough. Sometime he would wake up before the alarm. But the last few days, his body felt heavier, weighted down by forces stronger than gravity.

Breakfast isn't much better. He involuntarily makes pancakes as if it is his morning ritual. Even though he prefers omelette with cheese, bacon, ham and all the works, his hands grab the box of pancake mix and whisk away as if the sound of metal batting the bowl of batter will make Logan come running back home like a lost puppy.

He sighs, taking his seat in front of the two plates. Tiredly, he tries to pick up his fork but the tips of the utensil never leave, still swirling, playing in the maple syrup. "I bet Logan would love this too."

...

_Taking the swing James was just on, Carlos sits down, recovering from his jog. He hasn't been jogging very long, probably for the last twenty minutes. So meeting his friends in the park came as a surprise to him when Logan flagged him down. _

_"Why are you at the park?" Logan asks, kicking his feet, leaning on the chain closer to Carlos. His body slants towards his friend's direction, trying to be as close as humanly possible while still staying on his own plank. _

_"I was just jogging." Carlos sighs, knowing that is a lie. There are only two reasons why Carlos goes to the park, one he is bored and needs something better to do or two, he needs a place to think. And his reason to jog today is the latter one. _

_"Are you sure?" Logan asks in a sing-song voice, beaming a smile. Carlos nods. "Nope. James said that you taught him about the park. You said you go to the park to balance or something." _

_Carlos chuckles, smiling. He turns his head to study Logan's exaggerated grin. "You mean I told James that I go to the park to forget that I am sad and become happy again, right?" _

_"Something like that. James used a lot of hard words and I don't listen to him a lot." Logan honestly answers, not noticing the meaning behind his words. Carlos sighs, feel more conflicted. How can Logan be so honest with him, telling him anything on his mind as if Carlos is a jar for Logan to pile all of his secrets and emotions in? _

_"I think James will be happier if you listen more to him, logie." Carlos preaches, gently swinging. "It's not nice to ignore him when he is talking." _

_"Because he is my boyfriend?" _

_"No, because it is polite to listen to everyone no matter who it is." _

_Logan stays quiet for a moment, watching Carlos somberly stare at his feet. "Sorry Carlos. I promise to listen to James more like how I listen to you." _

_The jogger takes a deep breath and shakes his head. "You don't have to apologize, Logan. I'm just teaching you how to be a good boy." _

_"No, I have to. Barney said to say sorry when I make you sad." _

_"I'm never sad because you. You're the one person that makes me happy in a long time." Carlos stops, biting his lower lip, regretting his last comment. "I mean, you don't have to, Logan. I know you're a good boy." _

_"Thanks Car." Carlos catches a glimpse of Logan's prominent dimples poking out of his pale cheeks. It's comforting and warm; noticing these small things about Logan makes Carlos joyful even though Logan isn't his boyfriend._

_"So Logan..." Carlos tries to strike a conversation, after feeling that Logan is looking at him with those big brown eyes for a long time. "How is James? Is everything good?" _

_"Yep, James is nice and great. He is always with me, hugging and promising to be the best boyfriend. Some time he sounds sad when he hugs me but I think James is happy most of the time." _

_Sad while hugging, Carlos thinks. The words stab him. He can't imagine how hard James must be trying just to get Logan to love him back. For him to cry for Logan to stay in his arms, it's sounds heartbreaking. _

_"How are you doing? You like being with James, right?" The latter question sounds more like a plead. Even though it hurts to beg Logan to love James, Carlos knows it's the right thing to do, let James be happy. _

_"I'm great. I get to go to the park and everything. I like James. James says he will do anything for me. He said yesterday 'whatever you want I will do it for you.' James is nice." _

_"But you don't ask him for things, right? Only bad boyfriends ask for everything." _

_"Then why did James ask me?" Logan crooks his head, perplexed by James' generosity. _

_"Because James really likes you." He is doing everything he can to keep you as a boyfriend, is what Carlos wants to say but he doesn't want James to sound desperate or needy. "James is the best boyfriend anyone can have. He wants you to be happy." _

_"Yea, James is great." Logan sighs and pouts, sounding as if he is becoming less interested in being with James. "Hey Carlos, do you love me?" _

_"What?" Carlos chokes, nearly flipping over swing. He turns to face Logan with his crimson scarlet face. "Why would you ask that?" _

_"Because James told me that love is wanting to be with someone forever. Do you love me?" He asks again with his innocent pout, expecting Carlos to say yes and the Latino would but there are so many reasons for him not to with James being his best friend the number one reason why. _

_"I think you should love your boyfriend." Carlos answers quickly, turning to face forward and away from Logan. _

_"I'm sad." _

_Carlos sharply whips his eyes back at his friend. "Why?"_

_"Because boyfriends have too many rules." Logan answers. "Boyfriend loves boyfriend. Boyfriend sleeps with boyfriend. There are too many rules." _

_"Those are usually what boyfriends are about. You love each other and be with each other because you make each other happy. What's so bad about it?" _

_"I want to live with you." Logan exclaims abruptly with his cracked voice. this time, it sounds more like logan's making a plead than making a statement. "I don't want to be away from you." _

_Carlos' head drops again. He swings softly to the push of the slow breeze. "James is a good guy, Logie. He is a good catch and I know he loves you a lot."_

_"But I don't want to live with him." Logan whines. "I rather live with you." _

_The Latino sighs at Logan's beg. This was the reason why he went to the park in the first place; he wanted to run out of his feelings for Logan. Hopefully, he wanted the park to purge him of everything so he can move on but everywhere he goes, Logan is there, gnawing at him to give in to what is not his; what is James'. _

_"You make James happy, Logie." Carlos repeats like a broken record; the excuse he uses in any of Logan's doubtful situation. "When you live with James, he is smiling. He needs you more than anyone. You make him happy." _

_"But are you happy?" Logan asks innocently. _

_Carlos shakes his head, his voice getting stuck in his throat. He wants to say no but he refuses to break and give in. James is his friend and he needs Logan more than anyone. "I'm happy if James is happy."_

_"Ok." Logan whispers after a moment of thinking, remembering what James said about love; you know you're in love if you do everything that person asks just to make him happy even if you're not happy. "I'll live with James if it makes you happy." _

_"Thanks Logan. It means a lot that you're making James happy. He needs you." Carlos remarks, taking deep breaths between sentences._

_"Hey Carlos." Logan pouts, his words sounding mousy and delicate. _

_"Yea?" _

_"I love you."_

...

Staring at his full plate of pancakes gets worst by the second. His stomach is barren but Carlos doesn't feel like eating. His morning is just as empty as his stomach and just as empty as his vacant lap.

_Ding! Dong! _The doorbell rings once and then again and again.

"Wait a second!" Carlos smiles, nearly falling over his seat as he hastely stumbles off. Only a kid would ring the doorbell repeatedly like that, which can only mean one thing. His morning is going to become better.

"Carlos!" His visitor jumps into the home, arms thrown around Carlos' neck. "I haven't seen you in forever."

"Samantha?" Carlos blinks, watching his brown hair friend waltz through his hallway and into his kitchen. "What are you doing and who are you?" Carlos whips his head back at his other blonde lanky guest.

"She didn't tell you who I am?" The tall blonde singularly raises one eyebrow as he walks up to Carlos with his hand extended for a handshake. Carlos accepts it, glad that one of his guest has manner. "Well I can't say I am surprised. Sam is a forgetful cousin. I'm Kendall."

"Carlos. Say, you look familiar."

"Guilty. I am training to be a Minnesota Wild. You probably saw me when the TV catches me on the bench. Currently, I'm traveling around to watch the real players play but it beats staying in Minnie."

"That's what Sam said," he whispers, remembering the last time he and Sam talked. It was a year ago when Sam said she is going to travel and see the country to inspire her fashion. But Carlos asked her to stay and the worst happened. It would had be easier if Sam left without a word and just dumped him but the stuck up girl dared to ask Carlos if he would be fine with her having a second, or a third boyfriend, one for every state she visits. It shattered Carlos' heart.

"And that is typical Sam for you." Kendall winks, pating his shoulder. "Do you mind offering a glass of water? Normally I would get it like Sam did but this isn't my house."

"Oh sure. Follow me."

"I forgot how good your cooking is, Carlos." She continues wolfing down one of the plates of pancakes, moving onto the next one.

"You do know that one of them is Carlos' breakfast, right cuz?"

She rolls her eyes, cutting the cakes into triangle slices. "If you dated Carlos, you would know that he would give me anything I want. Right, Carlos?" Her cousin blinks at the question. He couldn't believe Sam dragged him to her past boyfriend's home.

"Well, that was a year ago." Carlos sighs, biting his lower lip. Kendall notices.

"Hey Carlos, do you have a TV? I need to study the reruns of yesterday's game and it should be playing now."

"Yea, it's in the living room." Carlos leads him down the hall and into the spacious room. "Here, Kendall," he says, handing the player the remote and the glass of water.

"Ok, real question," Kendall announces, turning on the TV to mute their coming conversation. "Why are you letting my cuz treat you like this, again? You're not dating her anymore."

Carlos takes a seat, playing with his fingers. He doesn't know why, maybe it's who he is, maybe he just has feeling to give other everything at his own expanse; that's how Logan sneaked into his life. "It's fine. Helping her is what I do."

"You are way too generous." Kendall waves the remote at Carlos' face before sitting down on the adjacent sofa. "You need to be more assertive and take what is your."

Carlos' head drops lower. He can't take him, not when _him _belongs to his best friend. Logan can like, love Carlos all he wants but Carlos can't call Logan his. But that isn't what Kendall is talking about.

"It's just a plate of pancakes."

"Was it for someone?" Kendall quickly jumps his question, raising the volume. Carlos states at the TV, observing the pixels of changing color rather than the actual game. "It wasn't like you expected us, or like how I expected to go to one of her ex-boyfriend's house."

"No, I had extra pancakes."

Kendall shakes his head. Throwing the remote back on the coffee table, he reclines back, head resting on the cushion. "You need to man up."

"What?" Carlos snaps back. His eyes thin into a dejected glare. "You think I have to man up?"

"Psh," Kendall exhales, shrugging his shoulders. "You need to stop thinking and do, take what is your, what you want. That is what I do when I want something. From the moment I met you, which was only ten minutes, you've been depress. So man up and do something."

Kendall does have some truth in his words. His mornings have been somber and it's partial if not mostly his fault. He does need to do something to get over Logan, to forget his feelings for Logan. Logan is never going to grow mature and get closer to James if Carlos is in the way, waiting for a break. He needs to stop thinking about Logan and do something else, something that makes him happy.

"And you got this from a plate of pancake?"

"Two plates." Kendall points two fingers at him and they share a laugh; the first time Carlos really smiled in the morning. "So... I'm Kendall." The athlete stands up and walks in front of Carlos with his hand out.

"What are you doing?" The host asks, staring at the hand and Kendall's smirk.

"I hated your first impression. You're going to give me a better one." Kendall offers, inching his hand closer to Carlos. "I'm Kendall knight. I know. I'm good looking and you probably know me as a player and soon to be center for The Wilds."

"And I'm supposed to like your new first impression?" Carlos jokes, reaching for his second handshake. "I'm Carlos. I am sexy and you probably know me as the guy who dated your cousin."

"And that you did," Kendall says, falling back on his sofa, relaxing with his body melting into the soft pillows. "Sexy? That is debatable. Watch it, Pecs. Using words like sexy and I might think that you're hitting on me."

"Pecs?"

"You hve enormous pectoral muscles. It's like they are staring at me and ripping through your shirt."

Carlos laughs, body curling and tears forming in the process. He hasn't laughed this hard in a long while. "Now who's hit on whom now?"

"Watch it, Pecs. You're not my type. I like pretty boy."

"Ouch. That didn't hurt at all." Carlos remarks, throwing a pillow at Kendall's face.

"Get over yourself. Having pecs doesn't automatically make you pretty. Just be happy you're slightly above average." The pillow is volleyed back and eventually becomes a game of its own.

"Hey! What did I miss?" Samantha emerges from the kitchen, taking a seat next to Carlos with her stick thin legs lying over his lap. "Were you guys talking about me?" She squeaks in her high pitched voice.

"No, although you should get your legs off of Carlos. We already invaded his home. Let's not invade his personal space." Her cousin states coldly, annoyed with Sam's manners.

"Nah, it's ok, Kendall. As long as Sam doesn't do anything else, I'm fine." Carlos says and finally watches the hockey game. "So, tell me about the game. I played hockey a bit in high school but what are you studying when watching a game?"

Kendall's face lights up, loving whenever he has someone to talk to about his life's passion. "I have to study the center's movement. You see how he's speeding down the ice? I have to be able to copy his form and add to it, make it better and faster. It's mentality. The coach said if I can mentally think of a way to be better, on the ice, I will play better."

"Wow, that's pretty cool."

"It is! I am going to check the ice tomorrow morning for train and-"

"God!" Sam rolls her eyes, pulling out her cell phone from her jean pocket, slender fingers ready for texting. "If this is all you boys are going to talk about, I should had hit the mall." This time Kendall rolls his gold dusted green eyes, shaking his head. He hates when people, especially when his family, shoot down his life's aspiration.

"Just like old times." Carlos says to lighten Kendall's tense stare at his cousin.

"Just like the present." Kendall sarcastically corrects, peeking his eyes at the TV. He mouths to Carlos without saying a sound, "Got to love family."

Carlos laughs and mouths back, "Ups and downs of my past."

Kendall laughs, shaking his head and continues mouthing. "That's what you get for dating her."

...

His finger repeatedly presses the doorbell, impatiently waiting for Carlos to open the door. He licks his lips, getting more antsy by the second.

"Logan. You're going to break the button if you keep doing that," James irritatingly informs the ecstatic boy. For the most part of the day, Logan couldn't stop talking about going to Carlos' house. In the morning, Logan hinted at going to Carlos by whining about wanting pancakes and when James got pancakes delivered from a nearby dinner, Logan dejectedly pushed it away saying that Carlos' taste better. In the afternoon, Logan would jump around, yelling that he wants to watch Barney on the TV. James obliged, ordering the TV show directly to his high definition TV but Logan complained that the TV is too big and it hurts his eyes. In other words, "let's go to Carlos' house," was what Logan passively meant and James couldn't take it anymore.

"Maybe Carlos didn't hear it. I have to ring it again," Logan argues, rapidly pressing the button.

"Coming!" They hear Carlos yelling from the other side.

"Carlos!" Logan bounces through the door. "I want to watch Barney!"

"Oh," Carlos sounds, peeking at his watch. It's five in the evening. "It's late and I have-" Carlos couldn't finish what he had to say. Logan is already running through the house and into the living room. "Company." He sighs and looks at James. His friend is shifting on his feet, tiredly yawning. Carlos notices huge purple bags under James' normally bright eyes. His model friend never leaves his home without making sure he is in top notch appearance.

"Are you ok, James? You look... different." He observes. James shakes his head.

"I'm fine. I didn't get any sleep yesterday and Logan didn't want to eat anything or do anything and he's becoming harder to control. But other than that and having a boyfriend, I am fine." James answers monotonously, walking pass Carlos and into the living room.

Awkwardly, Carlos closes the door and returns to the filled room. He notices a tense air the room suddenly holds. The hockey game on the TV drowns out the silence. James and Logan are sharing the love seat, Logan sitting on James' lap while James' assertively has his arms wrapped around his waist. Logan stares at Samantha with scornful eyes and Kendall's licking his lips, staring at James. Carlos slowly passes in front of his two friends and returns to his seat next to Samantha. She snickers and crosses her leg over Carlos' lap, twirling her index finger in Carlos' sleeve.

"So this is the Logan you were talking about before." She infers after Carlos explained his situation to her and Kendall hours prior. Logan huffs his cheeks, holding onto his deathly gaze at the girl. "He's cute." Logan continues his silence, eyes sharpening with malice.

"Logan, are you ok?" James whispers into his ear, feeling Logan clawing at his forearm. "Stop scratching me."

"I want to leave!" He throws a tantrum, making James groan.

"No. You are staying. You kept bothering me to go to Carlos and now you're going to stay." James nudges Logan off his lap and onto the open seat.

"Wait, James." Carlos stands up. "Where are you going?"

"I am going to get some air. The room is stuffy. Stay here." James commands Logan and briskly walks out. Logan doesn't care, crossing his arms and stares at Sam.

"Well, my legs fell asleep." Kendall groans and pretends to stretch his legs. "I'm going to grab some air." He quickly gets out of the room, leaving his cousin, Carlos and Logan alone.

"Well, this is weird." Carlos whispers to himself and changes the channel. "You can watch Barney, Logie."

"Thanks Carlos." Logan smiles and sticks his tongue at Sam when Carlos isn't looking.

The girl smirks and scoots closer to Carlos' body. She plays with his shirt, running circles on his pec. "Carlos," She sultrily whispers into his ear. "I want to watch the hockey game."

"Sam, stop it." He grabs her radiantly tanned fingers. "You can't touch me like that."

"Why?" She fakes her innocence, kissing under his ear. "I forgot how great my man is."

"Sam, I'm not your man anymore and Logie is here." The Latino whispers, pushing her lingering fingers off.

"It's fine, right? You don't mind if I touch Carlos, right _Logie_?" She mocks his nickname.

"Slut!"

"What?" Carlos yells, jumping from his seat. "Who told you that word? That is a bad word!"

Logan smirks at Carlos pushing Sam off his lap but he quickly pouts and apologizes. "Sorry Carlos. James and I saw an ugly girl on TV that looked like her and they said she is a slut."

"I am going to kill James. He shouldn't be letting you watch bad shows like that. Don't say that word again, ok logie?" Carlos asks, sitting back down. Sam sticks her tongue at Logan, feeling victoriously with Carlos returning to her side. Logan glares at her again.

"Can I call her a fucking whore?"

"Logan!" Carlos jumps back up and Logan fakes a pout. "You can't call Sam those bad words."

"Is bitch a bad word?" Logan asks, knowing the answer. James told him never to use these words but if it keeps Sam off of Carlos' lap, Logan doesn't mind although he just ran out of bad words.

"Yes! No more bad words ok, Logie? You are a good boy, right?"

"I am _your _good boy," Logan states, emphasizing the word "your" while he quickly peeks at Samantha.

"Good because good boys don't use those words." Carlos ends, sitting back down.

"Wait Carlos." Logan calls before Carlos can sit. "Can you teach me good words?" Logan, scoots to the end of the love seat, and pats the vacant space for Carlos.

"I'll teach you some good words." Sam pulls Carlos down and sits fully on his lap. Logan's cheeks flare bright red with anger. She notices Logan's rage and wraps her arms around Carlos' neck, knowing it will make Logan even more furious.

"Sam, you can't do this."

"Relax. You and I are going to teach Logan good words like we are his mommy and daddy."

"I don't want you for a mommy!" Logan yells and crosses his arms.

"Why not? Don't you want a beautiful mommy? Beautiful is a good word."

"I don't like you!" Logan screams.

"Logan! What is the matter with you? Good boys don't say that!" Carlos yells. Logan huffs and walks over to them.

"You can't sit on Carlos." Logan ignores Carlos and angrily glares at Sam.

"Why not? Carlos doesn't mind." She presses her cheek against Carlos', sitting on him exactly the same way as the picture Logan remembers a few days ago. His blood boils at the memory of the photo, hating how happy Carlos looked with this girl sitting on him.

"MY CARLOS!" He aggressively pushes Sam off of Carlos before storming out the room."

"Logan!" Carlos calls, following after him.

...

James takes a deep breath of solitude. The cool air brushes his palette and the back of his throat. It's soothing for once that being alone comforts him, ironically. Leaning his body on the porch fence, James stares at the blue sky; how the Minnesota's sun quickly sets and the single moon washes over. There are no stars in the sky and none James can wish on to fix his relationship.

"Hmm."

James turns his head, noticing the same blonde guy from inside stretching next to him. For a full second, James is at awe at the man he failed to notice before. Kendall, under the moonlight, is flawless with beautiful green eyes and dirty golden hair perfect sitting on his dimpled profile. He takes another second, his eyes tracing the contours of Kendall's body covered with a thin shirt before he realizes he is checking him out and turns around. He returns to ignoring the grunts Kendall's making and focuses on the sole moon to forget about how good looking Kendall is because to James, nothing good comes from good looking guys.

"Not vocal are you?"

"If you don't mind, leave." James rudely commands. The brunette's demeanor stays cold and distant, not wanting to be with anyone for the time being. "Really, can you leave?"

Kendall raises his right eyebrow, mimicking James' position on the wooden railing. "And why must I leave?"

"Because you're good looking and I can't deal with people like you right now." James truthfully answers, too tired to lie to the hockey player.

"Wow, I am flattered but that is expected. I'm Kendall after all." He shrugs and creeps an arm around James' shoulders. The model jerks, shifting away from Kendall. "Woah. No need to be hostile. Just let me hold you. Minnesota is cold and my body is perfect, like you said."

Kendall slams both hands on the railings, one on each side of James. The brunette turns, noticing Kendall boxed him. "I have a boyfriend!" He yells, ducking under Kendall's arm and walks to the broken brown wooden bench.

"Do you really have a boyfriend?" Kendall takes a seat, leaning over, his lips inching closer to James.

"Obviously." He blushes and averts Kendall by walking to the other side of the wooden fixture. Kendall chuckles, finding their little chase amusing. "Logan is my boyfriend."

"Who? The little brunette staring at my cousin?" Kendall recalls, advancing to James. He pushes James against the wall, smirking hungrily. "Your boyfriend has hungry, deadly eyes."

"He doesn't want your cousin, dumbass." James pushes Kendall off of him. "He wants Carlos."

"Then why won't you give Logan to Carlos and go for the guy you called good looking?"

"You are so fucking full of yourself." James stomps, pacing heavily on the creaky wooden floor.

"No. I didn't say I was good looking," Kendall reminds, closing in on the pretty model. "But I am known for a lot of things. People say I am sex on ice, a kisser you will never forget and a fighter." Kendall thrusts his lips to James' ear, his breath ghosting the tan lobe. "In bed."

James jumps, falling and tripping over his own legs. "Get the fuck away!"

"Do you really want to curse at the guy that can make your dreams come true?" Kendall extends his hand for James to use to get up. Ironically, James thought Kendall was going to crawl on the floor, over him and capture his lips in a fiery heated kiss as hot as the breath exhaled on his ear but Kendall doesn't and James smacks the hand away.

"I don't need your help." James states, standing up with his own strength. "I don't need good looking guys to look at me like another trophy that's needs to be banged."

"Oh, after I am done, you can't bump out the bangs I'll do to you." Kendall taunts, honing onto the brunette.

"Really? Can you leave me alone, please," James finally grovels. If pushing doesn't help maybe begging would. "I have so many problems and I don't know how to fix them."

"Well running away isn't going to fix one of them." Kendall falls onto the bench, arms and legs spread out, as if he expects James to sit in between his legs. But the model doesn't and sits against the wooden column across the blonde.

"And what problem is that?"

"That you like me."

James scoffs. "All you good looking guys are the same!" James explodes. "You all just say cocky things, make me fall in love with you and then throw me aside after sex. Well fuck you, Kendall. You're just like your asshole cousin."

"Language." Kendall calmly reminds.

"No! You are the same as your fucking asshole cousin. She dumped Carlos, a wonderful guy as if he is nothing and you're going to do the same to me."

"Is that an assumption?"

"No, it's experience." James explains. His heart is racing, blood pulsing through his enraged body. "Every guy I dated, no! Every hot guy I dated was a douche bag. Now I have Logan and he is never going to leave me! He won't cheat on me."

"He won't love you." Kendall sings; his tone enrages James further.

"Yes he does."

"Ask him." Kendall simple says. "If you're so sure baby boy Logan will love you, then there is no problem with Logan saying he loves you."

"And he will."

"Assuming? Or is this from experience?"

James groans, pulling his hair. He hates how Kendall is getting in his head. "Stop acting like you know everything. Do you want to fuck me or something? How do I know you won't leave me like everyone else?"

"Well one, I don't mind your melodramatic life. Have you seen my cousin? If I can live with her, I can put up with your problems. And two, you're pretty and I have a thing for pretty boys." Kendall licks his lips once more but quickly sighs and shrugs his shoulder. "But judging from my ten-minute experience with you, I know you won't give me the time of day."

James shakes his head, thinking that Kendall is just trying to seduce him with his cool, aloof charms. But no, it won't work this time; not like the time it worked when his last boyfriend, Dak did it.

"No! I have a loving boyfriend. Logan loves me and I can prove it. Logan will say it tonight. I am going to take him home and he is going to say 'I love you'. And then you can eat your sexy smirk because I don't need you."

Kendall chuckles and crosses one leg over the other, sitting on the beaten couch. He opens his mouth, ready to say a quick quirk but they hear someone yelling from inside.

"MY CARLOS!"

James' face drops and Kendall shakes his head at the victory. The athlete stands up and pats James' shoulder. "Well, it sounds like you win. I guess we won't have that amazing sex after all."

"Get off me!" James pushes the hand and sees Logan stomping out.

"I want to go home!" Logan yells.

"Good, me too!" James concurs and briskly runs with Logan down the block.

"Wait!" Carlos runs onto the porch, feeling confused. He looks at Kendall, hoping for answers but the blonde winks.

"_Your _Logan is interesting and James's pretty." Kendall jokes before walking back in.

...

"Carlos is mean." Logan huffs, crossing his arms. He puffs his cheeks, staring at the ceiling as he and James begin to sleep. James remains silent, fixated on the white ceiling as well. The model reflects on what Kendall said, is Logan his source for happiness or an easy boyfriend?

"I didn't get to watch Barney without that mean girl bothering Carlos. Who is she? She is not my friend or my mommy. I don't want her." Logan continues ranting, rustling in the covers.

James sighs, his mind clouded with his own problems. "Hey Logan, you remember what I said about love?"

"Yea. Why?" Logan turns to his side, facing his troubled boyfriend.

"Do you love me?" James asks straight and forward. He wants to prove Kendall wrong, which doesn't make sense. James barely knew the guy for more than ten minutes and yet he feels the need to vindicate himself.

"I live and sleep with you."

"No, love is more than that. Love is being with that person and never wanting to be with anyone else. Do you love me like I love you?" James elaborates, eye intently focusing on Logan's petrified face. The tiny brunette stiffens which tells James one thing, Logan doesn't love him like he loves Logan. A tear rolls but in the black of the night, it's concealed. James breathes in, air choking in his throat. "Never mind Logan. You don't have to answer." The hurt brunette closes his eyes, wanting to explode. He wants to yell and scream, release his pain and frustration. On whom? Logan? Kendall? Carlos? himself? He doesn't know.

"Hey James?" Logan scoots closer to him, hovering over James' face. "What is the opposite of love?"

"Hate." He quickly answers, knowing long winded answers will cause him to lash out. "Just go to sleep."

"I hate Sam."

James doesn't respond, pulling the blanket closer over his curled body. Logan pouts at James' coldness and returns to his side of the bed. "I hate her because she loves Carlos and Carlos loves her just like that picture."

"They are not in love, not like you know what love is," James spats the second remake, the rage in his voice starting to come out. "Just go to sleep."

"Ok," Logan sighs and closes his eyes. He sees that picture, Samantha purges her lips like a duck, cheeks pressed against Carlos' with huge smiles plastered on both faces. _My Carlos_, is screaming in his head but he can't help think that he is wrong. Carlos is not his, he's Samantha's. "Hey James." He calls.

"Go to sleep," James mumbles into his pillow. Logan sits up, perplexed with his thoughts, an envying frown forming on his face.

"James. I don't want Carlos to love Sam," he cries. "I love Car-"

"JUST SHUT UP!" James finally explodes, shooting up from the cocooned blanket. His face is beet red and his fingers are wrapped into fists with the blanket strangled between his knuckles. Deep pants breathe through his nose as he stares at his boyfriend. And all Logan wanted was James to explain why he loves Carlos. "God! Can you shut the fuck up for one fucking night? I hate that you don't know when to shut you big mouth about Carlos this and Carlos that. Do you know what I think? I think you are a dumb brat. You can't love Carlos. He is not you fucking boyfriend. So just shut up and go to sleep. God!" James breaks his one rule, never to yell at Logan but he had to. It was the last straw and James couldn't take it anymore. Logan broke his boiling point.

The other teen cries; his sniffles are loud and audible. "Carlos said you can't say that word."

"Carlos is not you're fucking boyfriend." James groans. "Go to sleep!" He yells for the last time, no caring if Logan hates him now. The boy won't stop and James had it with Logan's acts and ignorance. They annoy him to no ends and James wants them to stop.

The bed waves and feels lighter. His boyfriend's cries disappear, making the room quiet and tense. But he doesn't care. He knows Logan left, probably to run away into the scary night but James doesn't care. He can't deal with Logan anymore and having him around is just a reminder that no one loves him. Why force a reminder to stay if it scars his loveless existence?

That's why James doesn't care if Logan is gone into the unsafe night. He wasn't here in James' life to start with.

* * *

><p>:( Logan ran away. :(. But Kendall :). What do you think of him? Was he helpful to Carlos and a seductive boy to James? ;).<p>

And about Sam, I don't hate her. I just needed a female character and the other showsverse female characters would be too OOC if I added one of them. I hope you like the chapter :).

Please review :).


	11. Mock Turtle

Sorry for the lateness. I wanted to update sooner but this week was extremely difficult. My crazy professor did not understand as 3rd year chemists, we did not take atomic physic which I learned is a graduate or fourth year physic course … But on the bright side I had a laugh when I found out my friend wrote a poem about the professor as an answer to a test, one guy drew a hanging dead man on a deserted island and I drew Schrödinger's cat. Who said that nuclear chemists don't have a sense of humor? Lol Sorry for the ramble. This was reason why I couldn't update early.

* * *

><p><strong>Mock Turtle<strong>

"Shoot." Carlos pouts, staring at his empty fridge. It's been a while since the last time he brought grocery and every single time he tries to buy, something always stops him. He really wants to have pancakes for breakfast which for the first time, isn't not caused by Logan. After what Kendall said yesterday, Carlos is trying to move on and accept that Logan is wrong for him. Logan is taken and that is not going to change. So Carlos decided, he is going to wear a happy mask until he becomes happy, even if he has to trick himself into believing it.

Checking his watch, he jumps to his closet to collect a shirt to cover his bare chest and pants long enough to brave the mild weather. The morning isn't as cold as usual. It's been a roller coaster of changing weather both frigidly cold and mildly warm. But just because it's warm now doesn't mean it will be warm later. Carlos learned that after jogging shirtless in the morning once. Never again will he run shirtless.

After he finishes putting on his attire, he grabs his keys and wallet from the kitchen and treks to the front. But as soon as he opens the door, Logan slides off, falling onto his legs. Everything was the same as before; Logan is naked, lying on his porch, using the shirt and pant as a blanket but this time, Logan's eyes are blood shot and wide open. He isn't freezing but he isn't move off of Carlos' feet. It's as if Logan gave up trying or living his life.

"Come on, Logie," Carlos carefully wraps his arms under Logan's frame, carrying the naked body to his bed. The Latino doesn't seem surprised, feeling like this is normal but a bit better because at least the weather is not blistering cold. Laying the soulless body onto the spring mattress, Carlos tucks him in. "You want to tell me what happened, why you ran away again?"

Logan doesn't answer, his body lying apathetically under the folded blanket. He doesn't move, doesn't blink, and just lies down. Carlos moves in, sitting at the base of the pillow, gently checking the boy's forehead for a fever or any signs of sickness. Luckily, Logan's body is normal, good breathing and stable temperature but he's quiet, too quiet for the normally overactive boy Carlos knows.

"Are you tired, Logan? Hungry?" Carlos presses, staring into Logan's lost eyes. He never saw Logan looking like this, scared and alone. He's seen fear or loneliness in Logan's eyes but never both at the same time. It's a bit daunting, scaring the Latino and he doesn't know how to handle it. "Logan. If you're not going to talk to me then go to sleep and you can tell me why you're naked at my door later instead of sleep over at James'," Carlos compromises, realizing James did not call him yet about Logan's disappearance. James should have noticed that Logan's gone by now. It's ten in the morning and James wakes up about this time. So, Carlos doesn't know if calling his friend is the best idea at the moment or if it's better to talk to James alone.

"Logan," Carlos groans, getting up. "I have to go buy food. I'll see you-"

"Don't leave," Logan finally cries, gripping onto Carlos' wrist. The boy blinks for the first time and a tear rolls from his clutched eyelids. Carlos watches him, listening to the light sobs Logan whimpers. "Please don't leave me."

"Logan, I can't. I don't have any food left and you should be with James."

"I don't want James." Logan tugs on the sleeve with all of his strength, trying to get Carlos back down on the bed. "I don't need food. I want you. I need you. Please stay."

Carlos sighs, climbing under the soft blanket. He thumbs across Logan's dimples, wiping away the trails of tears but they don't stay dry for long. Logan continues weeping, overflowing his emotions. "Logan. What happened?" Carlos cups his cheek, forcing Logan to look at him.

But Logan doesn't talk. Instead, he pulls at Carlos' stretchy cotton shirt with both sets of nails, clawing at the hems.

"Logan, stop it! You're going to rip my shirt." Carlos pushes away the fingers but Logan won't stop, continuing to dig his nails into it, pulling Carlos closer to him. "Logan!"

"Take off your shirt," he cries crudely and forcefully.

"No, Logan. You can't do this," Carlos fights back, pulling his shirt down.

"P-Please take off your shirt," Logan sobs, yelling loudly. He breaks down; his voice cracks hard. Carlos freezes, staring at the boy covering his eyes with his palms to try and stop the tears.

"Ok, Logan. Please stop crying. See, I'm taking off my shirt." Carlos does what he says, tossing the shirt above their heads. Suddenly, Logan thrusts into his body, casting his nose into the cleavage between Carlos' define pecs. Instinctively, Carlos wraps his arms around Logan, feeling his chest getting wet alarmingly fast. He comforts him, caressing his dirty brunet hair and pushes Logan's head closer to his muscles. "Do you want to tell me what is wrong yet?"

Logan shakes his head, breathing in deeply of Carlos' scent. He misses this comforting smell of musk, cinnamon and protection. He can't explain it but he knows that as long as Carlos will hold him this close and envelopes his arms around Logan, that everything will be fine.

"Ok then, but this is the last time, Logan." Carlos says, feeling Logan snaking his thin legs between Carlos'. "I can't let you sleep like this, both of us without clothes again, ok? Promise me."

"I can't promise," he cries, voice cracking. His arms creeps around, one under and the other over, embracing the Latino tightly. Tiny trembles quake from his body, face burying, digging as far into Carlos' chest as possible. He cries, not like when he doesn't get his way but in complete pieces. "I can't promise you anymore. I said I will make James happy but I can't. I promised to sit on James but I don't want to. And I promise to live with him but I want to live with you. I can't make promises if I break them!"

Logan squeezes tighter, clamping his legs around one of Carlos', arms vice gripping as if he thinks that if he let's go slightly, Carlos will leave him.

"Logan," Carlos whispers, folding his arms around him. He brushes down the brunette's back with his fingertips, trying to pacify his broken sobs. "I won't leave you, ever," he states, meaning every bit of it. "I am here for you if you ever have problems or need a friend. Don't cry."

"I can't. I have so many problems," he shakes his head against the two mountainous pecs, glistening then with his cold tears. Carlos shivers, but holds onto him, letting Logan release every ounce of his tears, catching every broken piece of Logan's pain.

"Then I will listen to every single one of them. You're not going to face them alone, Logie. I'm here if you need to talk." Carlos reiterates, strumming the loose hairs on the back of Logan's head. The little boy nods, his cries dying down to weeps then to silent, long breaths. Carlos just waits, holding him, forgetting everything he must do. The empty fridge, the advice Kendall gave him, all of it just disappears from his mind and all he can think about is the brunette stirring in his arms and legs, needing him for comfort. And that is what Carlos plans to do, hold Logan until he is ready to talk.

Logan nods, breathing in more of Carlos' scent like a baby would to his mom on the first day of life. It comforts him, stops his crying and makes him know that somewhere in his abused world is someone that can protect him even though protection is not the only thing Logan wants.

"Why do you hate me?" Logan whines, tilting his head up just enough for Carlos to look into his eye but still stay in Carlos' muscles. Logan really does have an unhealthy obsession with Carlos' pectoral muscles, loving them against his cheeks.

"I don't hate you, Logie. I never hated you," he answers, kissing the boy's forehead, parting his spiky hair. Same as Logan, there are things he's obsessive. Logan loves having his head planted in Carlos' muscles and Carlos loves the feel of Logan's silky skin rubbing against him. So he shifts slightly, letting the body lying in his arms fondle him. He misses having Logan lay with him, body against his body even though he will never admit it.

"You do hate me," he repeats with his cracked voice. "You won't play with me. You let her sit on you. And you never let me do this anymore. I want to sleep with you."

"Logan. I told you. You have a boyfriend and I'm only doing this because you're crying."

"Then I'll cry everyday if you sleeps with me."

"No, that's not what I meant," Carlos corrects. He tests, pushing Logan off of him but the boy is adamant and determine. Even a hurricane can't rip Logan off of Carlos now. "Logan, there are rules you have to follows when you're a boyfriend. I was a boyfriend and had to follow the rules."

"What happens if I break a rule?"

"Then James is sad and you're not a good, faithful boyfriend."

"What's faithful?"

"That's when you follow all the rules of being a good boyfriend and never break one. Logan ... If you break a rule, James is going to cry. I know James and he wants you. He needs you so much."

"But I need you!" Logan's voice returns to its broken tone. "I won't break a rule with you. I'll be faithful. Just please be my boyfriend. Just please..." He continued crying, sobbing words broken on Carlos' curve chest. It hurts, hearing Logan like this but what's a man supposed to do in this situation? It wasn't like Carlos learned how to coddle a broken person or even what to say. His only experience was comforting James but that's not the same. He goes with his gut feeling and even now, his gut is confused. Should he give in and be Logan's boyfriend or be the bigger man and hold his hand through this ordeal?

"Logie," he starts off calmly but Logan already senses Carlos' answer from the tone, wincing his wet eyes. "I can't be your boyfriend but I promise to be here for you whenever you need me. I can hold your hand and share smiles with you but I can't be your boyfriend, not when you're with someone."

He continues, the sobs dwindling down to quiet sniffles but even then, Logan won't let go of Carlos' body, arms and legs wrapped like a spider's limbs around Carlos' soft, warm body. It might be the feel of bare skin or the fact that it's Carlos he's holding but Logan doesn't want to let go. Simply holding hands or sharing smiles isn't enough for him. He wants to have Carlos even if he is forbidden.

"Then if James isn't my boyfriend, will you be my boyfriend?" He whispers softly, hoping for a comforting yes from the Latino.

"What do you think?" Carlos vaguely answers, not wanting to falsely reply yes or to say no when he knows saying no would result in Logan going back to crying.

"I think yes. Is it yes?" Logan gleefully asks, signs of the depression he held are starting to evaporate, leaving a smiling brimming boy.

"I didn't say that. I said whatever you think," Carlos repeats like a politician, chuckling, infected by Logan's growing grin.

"But I am thinking yes. That's means yes!"

"No, I didn't say yes."

"No? You said no?" Logan pouts, looking at Carlos with his vulnerable, undeniably irresistible big brown eyes.

Rolling his own eyes, Carlos moans, shoving Logan's face back into his naked chest. "Go to sleep. You probably didn't sleep at all on my porch. You should have rang my doorbell."

"But then you'll wake up and be mad."

Carlos tries to stiffen his laugh but the ticklish breath brushes his pecs, making him laugh instead.

"You think I would be mad if your can make me laugh this hard?" He responds, wrapping his arms around Logan tighter, his body rocking with every breath in a vicious cycle; Logan's laughs cause Carlos to tighten his hug, crunching the lithe boy's body which causes Logan to laugh ticklish breaths. "Stop laughing! You're making me laugh," he commands Logan but from past experiences, silencing Logan is like forcing him to continue harder.

"Then say yes."

"Yes! Now stop laughing," Carlos complies.

"Yes, you fell for it! You said yes to being my boyfriend."

"That doesn't count! You tricked me, cheater!" Carlos pokes Logan's sensitive ribs, making the boy worm around, curling in a ball. "You'll never follow my rules, do you?"

"Depends on which rule like the rule that you can only kiss your boyfriend."

"Logan," Carlos sternly calls, elongating each syllable.

"I know but you can give me a kiss on the cheek, right?" He pokes his right cheek, smirking his unique side smile. Carlos scoffs, wanting to slap that smug smile but he laughs and decides to give Logan what he wants.

Slowly, Carlos leans foreword and Logan closes his eyes, happily waiting for any moment involving Carlos' lips and his skin. But contrary to Logan's expectation, Carlos doesn't press his lips on his cheek. Instead Carlos pokes Logan's dimple with his button nose, inhaling long and deeply.

Puffing his cheeks and crossing his arms, Logan glares, scowling at Carlos. "What?" Carlos taunts. "That is how I kiss with my nose. You didn't say what kind of kiss."

"You're a cheater," Logan states, stabbing Carlos' nipple with his index finger. Logan's eyes quiver compulsively but at least this time, it's playful.

"And you need some sleep," Carlos retorts, holding onto Logan's slender fingers. "Go to sleep while I pick up some food, ok Logan?"

"Aww. But that means you're going to leave me."

"I promise I'll come straight back. This is my house, you know? I have to come back." Carlos reiterates, making Logan smile again.

"You promise, right?" Logan asks, curling into a ball, closing his eyes, resting his head against the feather filled pillow.

"Yes Logie. Now give me my shirt," Carlos commands, tugging on the cotton t-shirt under the boy's head.

"No," Logan whines, pushing Carlos' chest away from him. He looks around, grabbing the head pillow on Carlos' usual side of the bed. He takes a deep breath of the soft cushion, smiling that it smells exactly like he wanted, like Carlos. The Latino blushes, surprised by Logan's action. No one sniffled his pillow like that before; this is so weird and perverted.

"What are you doing?" Carlos shrieks after Logan takes a second whiff. "Stop smelling my pillow like that. It's weird."

"No!" Logan swings it, dressing it with Carlos' shirt. He coddles it between his arms and legs, head resting on the collar. "Now it's like you didn't leave."

"You're weird, Logan. And I don't sleep with my shirt on."

"Then, are you going to stay naked with me?" Carlos sighs and shakes his head. Logan smirks smugly and returns his head back onto the long pillow. "I thought so."

Logan acts like a child but it makes Carlos laugh silently. It's cute and very weird for an eighteen year old to act like this. If someone told Carlos that a boy would smell his pillow, sleep affectionately with his shirt, Carlos would explode with embarrassment but now, he thinks Logan is cute.

"Go to sleep, I'll come home soon." Carlos pats Logan's cheek, watching the boy breathe for a second before he grabs another shirt and goes to the kitchen. Looking at the fridge to make sure of what he needs to buy, he makes a list and throws on the jacket sitting on the back of the counter seat on his way out. But as he walks to the door, he passes his bedroom, seeing Logan's peaceful face in the thin sliver of light from the hallway. His lips are pursed, slightly ajar and Carlos can't find a sight cuter than this.

He tip-toes to the edge of the bed, bending down to his knees and strokes Logan's dimple, making sure not to wake him up. And in a quick second, Carlos presses his lips to the wiped cheek for a real kiss, lingering for a moment before he pulls back and stands up. "You're just lucky that you're cute." Carlos comments before he leaves.

The sounds of the doors locking resonate in the small house and seconds later, Logan's eyes shoot wide open and the same smugness invades his thin lips, a laugh erupting as he only pretended to sleep. Smarter than he seems, Logan knew Carlos would not do what he wanted if he knew Logan was awake. So Logan pretended to sleep in hopes that Carlos would kiss him and it worked.

"I will make Carlos my real boyfriend," Logan decides, inhaling the scent of Carlos' woven shirt and falling asleep.

...

Lying on his bed, James's been staring at the ceiling for the late six hours. He couldn't sleep that whole night, tossing and turning on the spacious empty bed. Probably guilt clouded his mind but Logan deserved everything, the curse words, the harsh tone, everything. Logan deserved James' loud rant and it shouldn't be James' fault if Logan ran away again, right?

It shouldn't be. It's James' turn to push someone away. In every relationship, James was pushed aside like a worthless toy; played once and thrown in the trash the next morning. So pushing Logan aside is perfectly fine and he'll get over it. It wasn't like Logan was in love, _love, _with him anyway.

But even with all of these rationalities racing around in his mind, James knows it's his fault if Logan was to be hurt last night. He yelled. He snapped. He was a monster and what's worst was during the night, he didn't care what would happen to Logan. All James thought about was Kendall and how much he wanted to prove Kendall wrong. At some realization, James always knew Logan didn't love him as much as he "loves" Logan but just for one night, one second even, James wanted to have the good looking blond boy eat his words.

But that hope died. Kendall is right with both accusations. Logan doesn't love him and in a small part of James' repressed mind, he was attracted to the blond, cocky hockey player. But to give into someone like Kendall is like giving into Dak or Jett or any of his past heartless boyfriends. Kendall is just going to seduce him, sedate him to a bed and leave him the morning after without a word, a care that maybe James is more than just a good body … that he is a person too. But that won't happen again and as long as James believes that bad, hot boys like Kendall are going to hurt him, James would rather date innocent, cute boys like Logan who won't fully love him than go through his dating cycle again. Or if that doesn't work, he rather be alone than get hurt again.

"James?"

The brunette turns his head to the open door, noticing his friend's pity filled eyes. He expected Carlos to be here; something in his mind told him that Carlos would come over; probably the same part that nagged him that Logan is in love with Carlos.

"You know your front door is open and anyone can come in?" Carlos states, walking to his taller, depressed friend on the bed. He sits on the edge, patting James' shoulder but James does seem care or react. The thought that someone could have stolen all of his belonging or killed him in the depths of the night didn't cross his mind or if it did, he didn't care to live.

"If you came to yell at me for what happened to Logan, I don't care." James coldly states, knowing eventually his warmhearted friend is going to bring that up. Turning to his side, facing away from Carlos, James groans and stares out the window. "I don't care that Logan ran away. I just wanted him out of my life."

It hurts hearing his normally cheerful and perverted friend act like this. It feels like James is giving up, that life is nothing more than getting hurt, living alone forever. "James," Carlos tries to comfort him again, caressing his tense shoulders. "Maybe Logan isn't the one for you."

"No dumb shit, Sherlock. What gave you that idea?" He snaps, pushing Carlos' palm off of him.

"Look James," Carlos starts sternly. "I came to see if you wanted to talk to someone but if you're going to act like a kid and whine and be a brat about this, I can leave. I don't have to be here." He states seriously to his apathetic friend. He waits a minute for any signs of movement or thought but James is just laying silently still and Carlos can't take anymore of this quietness. "Ok, bye James."

"No wait." James hastily grabs his wrist, exposing his bloodshot, tear filled eyes to his comforting friend. "Please don't leave me," he cries and Carlos knows James is ready to talk.

"Are you ok?" Carlos says again, sitting cross legged mimicking James' sitting position, their sides pressing against each other. James shakes his head.

"Why won't Logan love me?" James cracks; his voice is as pain filled as Logan's was on Carlos' bed. "I did everything I can to make Logan love me. I gave him everything but Logan wouldn't budge. He wouldn't love me back."

"Maybe Logan isn't the one for you," Carlos reaffirms, letting James rest his head on Carlos' short, but sturdy shoulder. "You will find someone, James. You're perfect. I wish I am as good looking as you are."

"Funny," James snickers. Carlos always makes James laugh, even in low times. Maybe Carlos is born with it, but he is the only one that can make James laugh at any time. Maybe that's why James always goes to Carlos for comfort. "Tell that to Logan. If I was half as good looking as you are maybe Logan would grab my nipple or jump on my lap or force me to strip and yes I hear the words coming out of my mouth. I know I'm saying dirty thing but I want something that tells me that guys like Logan love me."

"Well, I'll forget what you want Logan to do to you but what do you mean by 'with guys like Logan'?"

James picks up his head and wipes his matted, sweaty hair from his forehead. "Carlos. You know every single one of my boyfriends in the past and what they did to me. Every single one of them had somethings in common. They are all hot, good looking and one other thing, they all left me after sex. Do you get what I am saying? Out of all people, you should understand my problem the most and why Logan is so important to me."

"No, I get it." Carlos whispers. "I know what you're talking about."

"I know you do. Logan is not the best at hiding his real feeling. He told me that you told him to kiss me, to cuddle with me. I know you're behind all of it. You're the best friend I can ever ask for but is it so hard just to ask for a boyfriend that will treat me like a boyfriend?" He sobs, choking his words, tugging Carlos into a strong hug. His tears stream down the back of Carlos' shirt, soaking trails. "Why can't I attract guys that will like me? Why do I attract assholes like Kendall?"

"Kendall? What does Kendall have to do with this?" Carlos suddenly asks. "He likes you?"

"That's not a big shock. I attract good looking guys." James chuckles. Again, even with sorrow filled eyes, talking to Carlos crackles a laugh here and there. "I attract sexy guys but I never attract a genuinely nice guy. Why can't I attract innocent guys like you do?"

"What did I do? I only had one girlfriend in my entire life and you know that ending badly."

"No! I'm talking about Logan. The boy is in love with you! He told me so many times that he loves you when I told him I love him."

"Do you love him?" Carlos asks the sudden question popping in his head. He doesn't know why, but he felt like he had to ask but that might be too direct of a question to ask his emotional friend right now. "Wait, sorry James. I didn't mean-"

"No." He answers, surprising Carlos. "I don't love him."

"Then … what?"

"I realized I don't love him. I've been on my bed thinking all morning and I realized, I don't love him, I just want him. I just want someone to love me that won't leave me."

"And you thought Logan is that type of person?"

"Yes." James nods his head. "Logan is new to the world and pure. Albeit, he is a bit sexual with his groping, actually very sexual with touching you and if he is a normal guy, I would joke to you that he is a slut and whore but beside that, Logan is pure. I thought if I dated Logan, I can teach him to love me like the boyfriend I always wanted but I guess I was wrong. I can't make him love me."

"Um… I'm sure there is someone for you, James. You just … have to wait." Each word gets harder for Carlos to say. He held James before, after every morning with failed relationships but for some reason, today is harder; probably because James is completely truthful and painstakingly honest this time. "I know someone is out there for you."

"Who? Mister Green Eyes Sexy? You think that Kendall is the one for me?" James snaps, his voice jumping a whole octave. "I am not interested in dating muscular hockey players with golden hair."

Carlos looks at James, staring blankly. He tries to form words or sounds but what can he say after that? "You know you just complemented Kendall in three ways in the last sentence. It kind of sounds like-"

"No! Shut up! I am not attracted to Kendall. Kendall is a douche bag. He's so cocky and assertive and good looking and I mean, forceful. I hate him!"

"Ok, whatever you say." Carlos snickers, rolling his eyes. James pushes him off the bed. "What was that for?"

"Stop it, Carlos! I know what you're thinking and it's not real. I do think Kendall is perfect in the looks department but I can't date someone just because of looks and appearances again. I need someone that will love me, all of me. I don't want someone that will use me for sex. I want what normal people have." James sighs again. "I want a real boyfriend."

To that, Carlos wraps his arms around James, both boys just breathing in each other's company and supporting one another.

"Then, I'm sure you'll find someone, James. You're more than a pretty face or a smoking body. And under your sexual comments and perverted jabs, you're a good guy and that counts. You'll find someone and I bet he'll be good looking too."

James scoffs and laughs at hearing the impossible from Carlos. "Good looking and genuine? Sounds too good to be true."

"Just believe it, James. If you can't get a good looking, nice boyfriend, then there is no chance for me to find someone."

"Are you serious?" James chuckles. "You do know the reason why Logan and I are not dating anymore or normally dated in the first place was because of you?"

"Yea … sorry about it. I tried really hard to make Logan like you."

"And now, who is trying to force someone to do something he doesn't want to do?" Carlos shakes his head, knowing who. "Maybe you should be with Logan, Carlos."

"I can't, James."

"Why not? I'm not his boyfriend anymore and I highly doubt Logan would want me back after I kicked him out."

"No, that's not the problem." James gives Carlos an eye roll. "James, the point in the beginning with Logan was he's a kid, still learning basic things about the world. I am not going to rob him of his life by dating him. It's not right or ethical, I think."

"You say that but you love him too."

"No I don't!"

"You love him too!" James sings, making Carlos' cheek turn bright red. "See! Carlos and Logan sitting in a tree. S-E-X-I-N-G-"

"Shut up! That's not how the song goes!" Carlos shoves James back and hits him with a pillow. "I can't date him. It's wrong to date someone in Logie's situation."

"Ok, first off, calling him 'Logie' is not helping _your_ situation. And second, what does Logan want?"

"He wants … me to be his boyfriend." Carlos mumbles the end but James hears it.

"What is wrong with giving him what he wants?"

"Because, would you let your future five year old kid have a boyfriend or girlfriend?" Carlos rationalizes. James shrugs his shoulders. "Forget it, James. I don't want to hurt Logan or ruin his life right now. I think the best thing to do is to give him space and let him grow up and maybe then I'll help him find a boyfriend when he is ready."

"Bull! He found a boyfriend and it's you! Just give into it, Carlos. If you like Logan like I think you do, you should date him."

"But-"

"No buts, except my perfect butt." Carlos laughs, brimming a smile. "Think of it this way, if Logan is your boyfriend, you can teach Logan how to respect and love better. And think of this, if you push Logan away he might develop bad habits and become a pervert."

"Funny. I doubt he will be as bad as a pervert like you when he grows up." Carlos jokes, fits of laughter roar from both of them. "But really James. In all seriousness, I don't want to hurt Logan. He had a rough life and I just want the best for him."

"Then go to him." James forcefully pushes Carlos off the bed. Unfortunately, he pushed a bit too hard and Carlos landed flat on his face. "Oh, sorry bud. I thought you're heavier than this. By the way, you still might want to lay off the corndogs"

"Thanks, good to know you're feeling better and called me fat."

"Not fat, pudgy." James corrects him with a content, revived smile. "But thanks Carlos. I feel better. Maybe there is someone out there for me. I guess I'll have to wait."

"I know there is someone for you." Carlos affirms the brunette, brushing his shoulders and checking his watch. "You just have to wait for prince charming to come."

"Sure, _prince charming_," James mocks. "But then, you should go home. _Logie_ needs his prince charming."

"Stop that, James." He whines, face scarlet and full of embarrassment. "I'm not going to date him. He can want me to be his boyfriend all he wants but I'm going to say no."

"Good luck with that." James wishes him, although he knows from observing Carlos and Logan together, Carlos would drop everything for Logan. If Logan asked Carlos to take off his shirt, he knows one hundred percent that Carlos with rip the shirt off for Logan. Of course James never saw Carlos do it for Logan but he is sure that if Logan wants Carlos' shirt off, then he gets it off. "Go home."

"Are you sure you can be alone?" Carlos asks one last time, buttoning his jacket. James nods and Carlos smiles. "Good because your breath stinks and your hair is messy. You need to fix that." Carlos jokes and James glares at him before he leaves. "Bye James."

"Bye Carlos." James waves, watching Carlos exit his room. He waits for the sound of the door to slam shut before he exhales and the smile falls from his face. Truthfully, he hopes what Carlos said about prince charming and waiting was true but James has been waiting. Now, he doesn't know how much longer he has to wait with a broken smile and hopeless eyes for his prince charming.

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><p>I hope to update soon. I have the next chapter done-ish.<p>

Please review =]


	12. Checkmate

Thank you for the reviews, favorites and alerts. =] They help motivate me as well as keep me sane.

Anyways, please enjoy =].

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><p><strong>Checkmate<strong>

Carrying three bags of grocery, Carlos enters his home to the sounds of his mattress springs compressing. He smiles, leaning on the door frame of his room, watching his previously sulking friend jumping on the old bed with a cheerful expression on his dimpled face and no clothes on his skinny body.

"Carlos!" Logan greets, jumping higher and more forceful, making Carlos nervous that the bed might collapse. "Jump with me. It's fun," he sings, with a hand extended in the Latino's direction.

Carlos shakes his smiling face, slipping the bags off of his arms and taking a seat to the edge of his bed. Logan takes one last bounce, falling to Carlos' side in a wave that shocks the whole full size mattress. "You're going to break my bed if you keep jumping like that. Then I won't have a place to sleep."

"Then you can sleep with me… in a closet." Logan proposes, resting his head on Carlos' shoulder, wrapping his arms around his bicep. "Sleeping in a closet is not so bad if you're with me."

"I don't think we will both fit in a small closet," he chuckles, patting Logan's hair with his free hand. "And if we sleep in a closet, where am I going to hang all of my clothes?"

"That's easy." Logan brightens; his idea dances in his naïve brain. "You can sleep in the closet first and I'll sleep on top of you. And we don't need clothes. We can sleep naked." Carlos blushes, tensing at the thought of having both of them in a cramp space, bare of clothes with Logan on top of him, legs between his. "I don't like clothes," he restates the obvious fact.

"I can see that." Carlos coughs, looking up and down Logan's currently bare body, shaking the pink tint from his cheeks. "But still, you're going to have to learn to wear clothes, Logie, sooner or later. You can't be naked all the time, especially when you're on top of me." He says, the image of them in a closet coming back to his head and the blush returning to his face. "I mean, you can't be on top of me too. That is wrong."

"Why? Is it because my thingie is broken when I think about bouncing on top of you in a closet?" Logan asks innocently, stealing glances down at his exposed genital.

"Yes! I mean no… Yes! No wait," Carlos yells, flustered and confused; his cheeks intensify to a burning red. "That is not the reason but you can't talk about not wearing clothes. End of discussion!" Carlos concludes weakly, the closet thought wrapping his mind and making his own thingie broken. "No! You have to learn to wear clothes."

"Can I start tomorrow?" Logan begs, slides his arms from between Carlos' arm to around his body. He shifts in front, sitting on Carlos' open lap and rests his head on Carlos' shoulder. "Or next week? I don't like having clothes between us."

His shoulders tense again, but the silent purrs emitting from Logan's closed mouth and the warmth from Logan rubbing his soft cheeks onto Carlos' clothed chest relaxes him. This is something he's been missing from the old days where Logan would be with him, no adult matters or anything. He misses when Logan would innocently sit with (or on) him and just make him smile like all the world's problems didn't matter. He doesn't feel like he has to care about relationship problems or anything. As long as Logan is with him, he knows even if the world is in disasters on the outside, at least his world with Logan on the inside is a wonderland.

"We can talk about this later," Carlos answers, giving Logan's matted bed of hair a simple kiss before he stands up and stretches his tired limps. Groaning, Carlos dazedly walks to the door, grabbing the forgotten bags to start making their brunch, if they can call eating at three a brunch. "I'm going to make you some pancakes, ok Logan?"

"Ok but I want to help," Logan offers, walking to tan Latino.

"No yet, Logie," Carlos taunts, swinging the lightest bag in front of the brunette. Logan pouts and crosses his arms. "You have to at least put on some pant first. It's bad enough if you don't wear a shirt while cooking but if you don't wear pant and oil flies, you're going to get burn."

"I don't want pant!" Logan huffs, puffing his cheeks.

"Ok then. You don't get to help me. I'll make the pancakes all, by, my-"

"Fine! I'll wear a pant. Carlos is a meanie," Logan complains, walking to Carlos' small closet. He picks through it, trying to find something to wear.

"I'm fine with that as long as you're safe," Carlos states, walking to the kitchen with the groceries in his arms.

Throwing pants over his shoulders, Logan couldn't find a pair that perks his interest or even remotely catches his eyes. All of them look the same, another short or long pant that looks great on Carlos, not on Logan. Looking through, Logan gets frustrated that Carlos has too many pants and gives up searching through the pile. Why does Carlos need this many, Logan wonders. He doesn't understand why Carlos doesn't walk around naked. He has the legs for it. He has a body meant to be shown so why doesn't he?

He groans, pulling his hair from thinking of reasons of why Carlos would wear pant and how to get Carlos to not wear pant. It baffles him but he knows in the end, Carlos won't let him cook if he doesn't find a pair of pant to wear but none of the current loose pairs on the floor are interesting. They are all long and smell like flowers, not like Carlos. And then, it hits him, a smile growing on his face. Dashing to the black mesh hamper next to the bathroom door, Logan grabs the first short in the bin, a pair of purple boxer.

"Carlos wore this," Logan says, hugging the underwear to his chest. "It's his favorite color." Slipping on the shorts, Logan skips to the kitchen, lingering at the door, observing what his host is doing.

"Do you notice something different?" He asks, bouncing around the Latino preparing a fresh batch of pancake.

Carlos briefly peeks over his shoulder once before he stops his whisking and faces Logan with his widen, surprised eyes. "What are, why are you wearing my boxer?" Carlos yells, cheeks blushing red.

"Because you told me to," Logan sings, swaying his hips, stepping closing to Carlos. "Do you like it? It's your favorite."

"I know it's my favorite! I wore it yesterday. Go change!" Carlos points to the bedroom. Logan giggles and shakes his head, no. "Logan. I am going to say this once. You can't wear my dirty underwear. Do you know how creepy this is?"

"Nope," he shakes his head again. He pulls on the waistband in front of the underwear, swinging his hips. "It's not creepy. It smells good."

"No, it smells like my sweat, me and dirty stuff mixed together. Now, go change." Carlos pushes Logan, nudging him to the hall.

"That's why it smells good. It's like I am wear you, like I am on top of you... just like we are in the closet together without clothes." Logan taunts with a childish grin on his face. It's creepy that Logan can stare at Carlos innocently, making Carlos think about the not so innocent idea of Logan's body making friction against Carlos' body.

"Ok, no. I am not let you wear me, I mean my dirty clothes. We are not on top of each other and we are definitely not grinding." Carlos continues pushing Logan down the hallway.

"I didn't say grinding. What's grinding?" Logan asks, digging his toes into the carpet.

"And you should never find out. Now, go change. Please don't make this harder than it already is," he begs but Logan stomps down his foot and turns to face Carlos.

"No! I did what you wanted. I am wearing pant. You didn't say I can't wear your favorite purple pant. I like them too. You are being selfish. I want them!" Logan argues loudly, purging his lips and glaring angrily.

"Them you can have them. Just let me wash them first." Carlos compromises.

"No!" Logan grabs the waistband of the boxer, jumping back. "I don't want them to smell like flowers. I want underwear that smells like you."

"Ok Logan, if you just listened to what you said, you'll know how creepy you sounded and if you don't understand, please believe me when I say that people will think you're weird. You can't wear my dirty underwear. Didn't your parents teach you that?"

The question resonates in Logan's mind and his eyes swirl with on coming tears. _Shoot_, Carlos curses at himself, realizing what he just did. "No, no. I didn't mean it Logie. Don't cry." He softly whispers, pulling the boy into his arms, embracing tightly.

"No one taught me. No one loves me. I don't have anyone!" Logan cries, tears wetting Carlos' shoulders.

Biting his lip, Carlos yells at himself, wishing he didn't ask Logan that. It was wrong for him to mention about Logan's parents and he hates himself for making that mistake. "No, no Logan. You have me, remember? I will never leave you. I'll teach you everything, starting tomorrow, ok? Today, I'll let you wear my underwear, heck after I shower, I'll let you wear the one I have on now, ok? Would that make you happy? Please be happy," he pleads, swinging their bodies.

"Well ... ok." Logan instantly becomes happy like nothing happened. A smile sweeps from dimple to dimple as he skips to the kitchen. "But it better smell like you or I won't like it."

Carlos, confused, watches Logan entering the kitchen. His right eyebrow jumps up and his mouth drops to the floor as he wonders if Logan just played him. Did Logan manipulate him to get what he wants?

After the brunch is prepared, they sit at the kitchen table, feasting on their plates of pancakes. Logan did it again, "cried" to get what he wants, and this time it was to sit on Carlos' lap.

"Logan, were you really crying or pretending?" Carlos asks, feeding Logan a bite after Logan accidently dropped a messy, syrup covered pancake on Carlos' hand, which Carlos thinks was on purpose too.

"Yes. Keep feeding me, boyfriend, I mean, Carlos." He opens his mouth wide, waiting for Carlos to feed him the next forkful.

"Logan. That didn't answer the question. Are you faking it? And remember, I hate people that lie to me."

A gulp is heard from Logan's throat as he wonders what to say, which answers Carlos' question precisely.

"Logan, why did you do that?" The Latino asks softly, gently placing his fork on the plate and cleans his hands with the white cloth napkin. Logan bites his lips, shaking his head. He wants to lie but to have Carlos hate him, that wasn't what he wanted. "Ok, Logan, come on." Carlos slides the body off of him and leads him into the bedroom. He pats the edge of the mattress after taking his seat. "We have to talk."

"Can I finish my pancake first?" He asks, sitting down on the planned spot. Carlos shakes his head somberly and Logan knows that means this talk is no going to be pleasant.

"Logan..." Carlos beginnings but he chokes on his words. He doesn't know how to start. He could begin with Logan's lying but that wasn't the main reason for the talk. "Logan, why did you drop the pancake on my hand?" Wrong question. Carlos knows he was supposed to ask Logan about his triangle relationship with James but he couldn't; asking Logan an adult question feels wrong but asking about pancake is _perfectly fine _... That wasn't how Carlos wanted to start "the talk."

"Because..." Logan sways in his seat. He seems as uncomfortable as Carlos is. "Because you don't like being messy and I knew you would feed me and let me sit on you and ..." Logan mumbles the last part, covering his muffled mouth with his closed hand.

"What?" He asks, hearing parts of the last reason.

"Sorry, Carlos. I promise to not lie again. I want you to love me." Logan states but Carlos isn't confirmed that that was his answer.

"No Logan. What did you say before you covered your mouth?" Carlos pries.

"And be my boyfriend." He mumbles again, but this time Carlos hears him. A sigh slips from Carlos' lips as he wipes the imaginary sweat on his forehead. There a lot of thing passing through his mind; so many things that Carlos needs to tell Logan but it's hard to tell a kid how to act. And it's even harder when he's fallen for Logan too.

"Logan... I can't be your boyfriend." Carlos frankly states. He tries to be serious but his tone vibrates and it comes off as unsure to Logan.

"Yes, you can!" Logan shifts his whole body towards him, big puppy eyes beaming affectionately at Carlos. Who can say no to that? Not Carlos. That's why Carlos turns his head, facing the wall but Logan clamps a hand under Carlos' chin and forces him to stare into Logan's persuasive eyes. "I wear your clothes. We sleep on the same bed. You feed me pancakes and I love you. That's what boyfriends do."

"Logan," he sighs, gingerly pushing Logan's hands down. "There is more to being a boyfriend than eating and sleeping. You're too young to understand this."

"No! I get it! Boyfriends love each other. I love you." Logan confesses. But like always, Carlos blushes, turning away rather than confronting Logan with his feelings. "Don't you love me?"

The question resonates. With Carlos, it's hard to answer. He can say yes but he knows deep down, it is wrong for Logan to have a boyfriend. What parents would let their five year old kid have a boyfriend? But he can't say no. That would be a lie or a tiny white lie but Carlos can't lie, not after telling Logan that he hates liars.

"You don't love me, do you?" Logan cracks, voice sounding delicate and broken.

"You can't have a boyfriend, Logan." Carlos continues facing the door, playing with his fingers. He breathes deeply. "Logan, when you grow up and have a baby girl, would you let her have a boyfriend?"

"Yes." Logan answers with a hundred percent confident. "Yes, I would!"

"You say that because you want a boyfriend but you know deep down you won't let her."

"No, I would." Logan firmly believes. Carlos shakes his head and closes his eyes. "Carlos?" He calls, grabbing his attention. "I won't let her have James but if she asks for you, I would let her have you as her boyfriend." He explains sweetly. Carlos turns back, facing Logan after that heart warming answer. "You're the only person I trust. I know you are a perfect boyfriend. That's why I want you. You are my hero."

He breathes for a minutes. Carlos tries to avoid Logan's gaze by looking down, but with an answer like that, how can't Carlos not blush and feel overwhelm with embarrassment?

"Logan, about James..." Carlos returns back to the topic after Logan said the name. "He says it's ok not to be his boyfriend anymore you don't want to."

They sit in silence, a breeze sweeping between them. The room gets quieter.

"What do you want me to do?" Logan asks, covering Carlos' hands with his.

"Why are you asking me that?" Carlos looks stun, the question feeling out of character. To Carlos' experience, Logan isn't the type to ask if he can get and Carlos knows what Logan's been trying to get.

"Because if you're sad then I'm not happy. I want Carlos to be happy. So, what do you want me to do?" Logan pokes up Carlos' arm, pressing ticklishly (and a bit flirtiously) into Carlos skin.

"I don't know. Just do what makes you happy." He says. And as if on queue, Logan grabs Carlos' chin and turns his face in his direction. "Lo-" He starts, but Logan interrupts him, crashing his lips onto Carlos'. He holds them in place, not letting Carlos leave him or say something.

After lingering for a second, the moment catches up to Carlos' mind and he retracts, shaking his profusely blushing cheeks. "What was that for?" He yells.

"I did what makes me happy," he answers again in his confident tone, licking his lips, trying to relive the short kiss.

"I didn't mean it that way! You just broke up with James. Doesn't that mean something?" Logan shakes his head.

"I was never in love with James. I only did it because I wanted to make you happy. But now, you let me. So I kissed you."

"Logan... you can't just kiss like that. You got out of a messy relationship with your friend. You can't just jump to another boyfriend like that."

"Boyfriend?" His face lights up and Carlos smacks his forehead. He didn't mean to say that word.

"Logan. I told you. I can't be your boyfriend."

Even though he hears the words from Carlos, Logan doesn't care. He feels that that kiss made Carlos happy and it made him happy. Carlos did kiss back before he realized what was happening. So it's perfectly logical. He dives in, pressing his lips on Carlos, pinning his body over Carlos. The bed jumps to their weigh, the recoil forcing Logan's tongue to bounce into Carlos' mouth.

"Logan!" Carlos shrieks, rolling the boy off of him. "What was that for!"

"James kissed me when he asked me to be his boyfriend. So now I am asking you." Quickly, he sweeps in for another kiss, this time, pinning Carlos' wrists to the bed, forcing his body as weigh onto of Carlos.

"Logan!" Carlos shrieks again, flipping Logan off. "Stop kissing me!"

"No!" Logan whines. "You have to say yes! When I kiss you, you have to say yes!"

"Logan! I am not going-"

He presses his lips on Carlos again, determined to change his mind. "James kissed me and I said yes. You have to. It's the rule."

"That is not a rule!"

He thrusts again, peppering Carlos' supple lips with his forceful pecks. "What can I do to make you mine?"

"Nothing!" Carlos holds Logan's shoulders just before Logan lunges. Logan purses his lips out, closing his eyes, hoping that Carlos would kiss him but Carlos doesn't. "Stop it, Logan. I told you, I can't be your boyfriend. I can't let you get hurt."

"You won't hurt me. You never hurt me."

"No but..." Carlos sighs and shakes his head. "Logan. You went through a lot of hardships and I can't do this to you. If we are together then things will happen."

"What bad would happen?"

"You won't be you anymore." Carlos flat out states, confusing Logan. He knows Logan wouldn't understand but that doesn't make it right for them to date. "Logan, we can't date. First of all, you're too young. And second, if we are dating, you won't be the pure and innocent boy I love. You'll become like every other miserable person in the dating world and I'm not going to do that to you. I was in a relationship and after it ended, I was broken to pieces. I can't let that happen to you." Carlos confesses. This was the reason from the start. He didn't want to hurt Logan or strip him of his childish innocence. These are qualities that disappear in life and never return. He doesn't want Logan to lose his innocence.

"So..." Logan watches Carlos breathing, thinking hard about what Carlos said. "So you love?"

Carlos groans. He can't believe from the whole speech, the only part Logan remembered is Carlos saying love. "Logan," he seriously yells.

"No, I understand, I think but you love me?" Logan has to ask. Hearing Carlos say the L word for the first time fills him with extreme glee.

"Yes. I love you, ok? But that is the reason why, we can't date. I love you too much to get you hurt and change you into something mature. You are perfect the way you are, Logie. I don't want you to change because of me. I was scared when you dated James. Now, I'll feel guilty if I'm the one that changes you."

"Then I promise I'll be who I am now." Logan offers, rolling his body on top of Carlos', cuddling into the Latino's frame.

"It's not that easy, Logan. You say that but ... you'll lose who you are."

"No, I promise, Carlos." Logan argues. He turns around, pressing his back into Carlos, wrapping Carlos' arms around him. "My mom and dad-"

"Don't Logan. You don't have to talk about them if-"

"I want you to hear it." Logan interrupts, breathing deeply. He thumbs the back of Carlos' hands resting on his chest. "My daddy and mommy aren't the best parents. I think they hated me but they said 'I love you' every single time they tied me to the wall or pole. They laughed and had fun with markers and swords-"

"Logan, stop!" Carlos fists Logan's chest, imagining Logan in those situations makes him mad with fury. "You don't have to say what they did to you."

"But they were evil." Logan sighs. Surprisingly, he's not crying. "And I want you to know, they changed me. I became a boring, scared toy to them. I didn't like it, but I can't fight them."

"And that is why I won't change you." Carlos jumps again. He doesn't like the story and with every second of Logan's recall, he becomes more enrage. Seemingly, Carlos is more hurt with Logan's past than Logan is. "I will never change you."

"But you did," Logan whispers happily. Carlos' forceful embrace loosens and he tries to figure out what Logan meant. "You changed me into a good boy. I used to be afraid of a lot of stuff because of them but not anymore. I am not afraid of people anymore. I'm not afraid of sleeping in the dark. I'm not afraid of my mommy and daddy anymore ... And I'm not afraid of falling in love because of you." Logan confesses, a smile brimming on his face. "I promise I won't change. Because of you, I am who I am. I'm your good boy."

Carlos silently smiles, trying to hide his emotions from the radiant boy in his arms. He hates to admit it but a part of him, a huge part of him, wants Logan to be his boyfriend. "I'm happy for you."

"Then you'll be my boyfriend?" Logan asks again, turning face to face. His brown doe eyes swirl with hope that melts Carlos' doubts and walls but he can't.

"Logan, I-"

Logan cuts him off again, using the same tactics he's been employing. He knows it's the tenth or so time he kissed Carlos in the last few minutes but that's not stopping him.

"Logan." Carlos uses his serious, adult voice.

"What can I do to change your mind?" Logan compromises. He's really determined to sway him. "I promise to wear clothes if you're my boyfriend."

"Logan. That won't change my mind."

"Then… I promise to never wear clothes." Logan brightens up at this.

"NO!" Carlos shrieks, his voice jumping an octavo. "You have to wear clothes even if we are not boyfriends."

"If? You mean you thought about it?" Logan inquires. Carlos doesn't understand him and how he digs into his words, trying to manipulate Carlos. Logan is smarter than he seems.

"Logan-"

"Do you love me?" He jumps the question. His hands fist Carlos' shirt, playing with the contour of Carlos' pecs. "Please just answer it." He whispers mousy and delicately, as softly as a blowing wind.

"Yes." Carlos answers with a cough, clearing his throat of his answer. "I do but-"

"And did you think about being my boyfriend?"

He coughs. "Yes." Carlos gulps the air caught in his throat. He wants to lie but Logan's warmth pressed on him and the soft hands gliding on his chest warn him not to lie. It's a great feeling having Logan in his arms, but at the same time, it's not right.

"Then, please be my boyfriend. I promise not to change and be your good boy if you be my boyfriend." Logan sighs, laying his head on Carlos. There he goes again. Carlos doesn't know if Logan is doing this on purpose, knowing how and what to do to made Carlos sympathize with him, or if this is what "love" really is but he's getting tired of arguing. Fighting with Logan is fruitless because in the end, they both know who will win.

"Only if you're my good boy and no one else's." He whispers into Logan's open ear and the brunette shoots up, beaming a smile wider than ever.

"You mean it?" He yelps and Carlos nods his head.

"But Logan, I'm not going to be a 'real' typical boyfriend. We won't do things adults do as boyfriends."

"Do we get to hug?" Logan asks. Carlos nods. "Do we get to kiss?" He nods his head again. "And I can call you my boyfriend."

"Yes, all of that but there are my rules to being boyfriends, ok?" Logan nods his head.

"And I have rules too." Logan cheerfully asserts.

"If I say 'that is mature' that means we can't do it."

"And we sleep naked." Logan sings his condition.

"Logan." He yells in his serious voice again, trying to get Logan to understand him. "This is not how it goes."

"What? You give one rule and I give one rule. My turn! We take bubble baths together."

"LOGAN! NO!" Carlos yells again and shakes his hopeless head. There is no getting through to him. You give him an inch and he takes a mile but in this case, Carlos gives Logan a boyfriend and Logan takes his life. "That is mature."

"What does that mean?"

Carlos slaps his forehead. "That means we can't do it."

Logan laughs it off. He returns his head to Carlos' chest, and breathes warm, comforting air. "I promise to do what you say because I know you won't ever hurt me. I love you." He yawns, the excitement and his finally successful attempt tiring him. Carlos notices and pats his matted hair.

"Take a nap, Logan. I'll wake you up later."

"Wait." Logan grips his hands, locking fingers before Carlos can get off. "You forgot the first rule. Boyfriend sleeps with boyfriend."

Carlos rolls his eyes but that was the first thing Carlos told him. "Yes but if my boyfriend wants dinner, I can't sleep."

"Ok, fine. I'll let you break the rule this time." Logan yawns, eyes watering at his sleepiness. "But you have to kiss me." Carlos shrugs his shoulders at the simple request. He lows down his head and gently presses his lips to Logan's.

"OW!" Carlos suddenly yelps, jerking back and holds his bottom lip. He stares at Logan licking the smirk on his lips. His eyes twitch as he thinks if Logan just did what he thinks he did. "Did you bite me?"

"Yep." Logan gleefully answers. Carlos shutters. He can't believe it. In the span of ten minutes he promised that he won't change Logan but look at him. He's biting in a kiss. Even Carlos never did that and he dated before. Now he feels guilty that Logan changed into a pervert because of him although technically, even James would agree, Logan was always a sexual, little fox from the beginning. "Can I bite your-"

"THAT IS TOO MATURE!" Carlos yells the secret code before Logan can say the body part, swinging his arms in the air.

"What does that mean again?" Carlos groans, feeling defeated against Logan. The little brunette has too much energy for Carlos to handle. "I'm joking, Car." He chuckles, resting his head back on the pillow.

Carlos shakes his head, staring at the boy he made. He knows that he committed the biggest crime in the world, robbing Logan of his purity but the smile on Logan's sleeping dimples says otherwise. He really does look like the most innocent person in the world when he's asleep (and not talking or biting). He doesn't look like anyone that's ever gone through hardships or problems. He looks like a boy, a normal boy that's finally getting a life he deserves.

"Move over, Logan." Carlos taps his shoulders and crawls under the fast asleep brunette. Throwing his shirt to the edge of the bed, he covers the blanket over them and drapes his arms around Logan. The brunette reciprocates, wrapping his arms around Carlos' warm skin.

"Thanks Carlos." Logan whispers into Carlos' pecs, another yawn escaping his lips.

Carlos smiles, yawning too. He tightens his hug, pulling Logan up so that his head is resting into the crook of Carlos' neck. The ticklish air from Logan's nose warms his skins and makes him content. He's happy, truly happy. Carlos hasn't said that in a while. He had his moments of happiness but never has he felt this constant bliss. It's not like the instant pleasure of a pancake dipped in syrup. It's like living with the guy you love forever. Having Logan in his arms is a great feeling. He finally found someone perfect for him. Even after all the drama of Logan's past and with James, napping with Logan makes everything worth it.

Even if they miss dinner.

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><p>I know it sounds like the story is going to end but there is more. I was planning to have this chapter half cargan and half with James coping with his feelings but the cargan part became too long and I don't want to add the James part and make the chapter bulky. Hopefully I'll update that chapter soon... (don't yell at me if I can't =[) And again, with James, there has to be someone to help him cope. I wonder who? ;]<p>

Please review =]


	13. Star of the Evening, Beautiful Star

Sorry for the long wait. I just finished a one-shot for Carlos' birthday and a story for my friend, JOJO. So I had a lot to do lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter =].

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><p><strong>Star of the Evening, Beautiful Star<strong>

Leaning over the edge of the railing, James watches a bonfire across the sandy shore. He stands on the short pier under the night's starry sky, wishing that he was part of the fire's company. He thought that returning to the place where it, everything, started would help clear his head, help him escape the wrongful mistake he made with asking Logan to be his boyfriend. It was a few days ago and a couple of steps from where he's currently standing did James take a chance, took a leap of faith, unknowing that his risk turned for the worst. He wanted to change things, pick the guy that he would never go for but a change in guy wasn't the answer, not with the result he got. Everyone he dated led him back to being single, feeling worst about himself than what he felt in the beginning. A piece of him breaks off every time his relationship failed and now, he doesn't know if there are any pieces left.

"I guess you're not vocal tonight either, are you?"

James doesn't bother turning around, knowing whom the taunting voice belongs to. There is no point caring anymore if he is ridiculed tonight or every night. Why care when everything is going to fail anyways?

"Just say it," James musters, shaking his chin against the sandy metal bar. It could be the sand getting in his eyes or the strong heat waves emitting from the distanced bonfire that causes his eyes to get watery but definitely it's not the blond boy's present. Kendall and his mocking voice wouldn't be the reason for James' breakdown. "Just say it. I know you're thinking it," he cries, trying to hold his voice together but every other word cracks with a hoarse croak.

"I don't know what you're talking. Beer?" He feints and offers a thin glass bottle. James stays still, hunched over the bar. "Come on, James. Just take the beer. I promised I didn't drug it or anything."

"Just say 'I told you so'!" James shoots up and yells at the athlete. He curls his hand into a fist, not for punching but for pelting his beating heart. He hits once, coughing at the resonating wave of pain surging up his chest to his throat. Kendall raises an eyebrow, confused at James' psychotic self-infected pain. "I know you want to say it." He whimpers, almost like a plea, a want for Kendall to hurt him. Sadistic or self-loathing, James wants to break and fall because nothing in his life is working.

"Aa… yea, I don't want to say it." Kendall places the beer on the ledge, sipping his own. "Beside, why say it when you know it?"

"Because you're an asshole and I don't want your pity!" James yells, smacking the beer off. It falls and they hear it shattering against the rocks under the pier. "I don't fucking want your pity," He repeats painfully, stuttering each word.

"Wow. First off, I do not pity you. I think you're crazy and a drama queen but I don't pity you." Kendall explains, downing half his bottle. "And two, that was a six dollar bottle of beer. If you told me you wanted to throw something, I would have offered a cheaper beer or a rock."

Kendall jokes, chuckling. But James glares at him hatefully and grabs the bottle in his hand. He chucks it into the lake and yells into Kendall's face. "Just fucking say it!"

"What the hell! That is my favorite beer!" Kendall yells back, pointing to where the half full bottle sank into the water.

"Just fucking say it!"

"Why the fuck do you want me to say it?"

"Because all of you good looking guys are the same!" James explodes, tears falling from his face. Kendall stands there with his face stoic and apathetic. It makes James furious that Kendall can stand like that, staring at him with those judgmental eyes, lying that he doesn't care. James knows he doesn't, just like all of his past good for nothing, lying boyfriends.

"Again, you keep saying I'm good looking. That's a given but you got to stop comparing me to your past boyfriend." Kendall sighs, fixing the sides of his tank top. "And what does that have to do with saying it?"

"Because … I just want you to say it."

"Why?"

"Because, why can't you just say it? I know you want to." James counters, looking down at the wooden planks.

"Nope. I don't think I want to say it."

"Just say it!"

"Then tell me the real reason!"

"All of my boyfriend would say it!"

"That has nothing to do with me."

"So I won't fall for you!" James finally blurts, yelling until his cheeks turn bloodshot red, fists turning ghost white, and toes digging into the soft cushions of his sandals.

"You want me to be an asshole so you won't fall in love with me?" Kendall asks, fill of shock and surprise. James nods his head, a couple of tears dropping from his eyes.

"If you be a jerk to me before anything happens, maybe my mind won't argue with me that I shouldn't date you. You're better if not as good looking as the guys I dated and you're just as cocky and full of yourself as they are. The only thing different is that you didn't or haven't put me down yet; make me feel like I suck. Maybe if you act like you're better than me now then my mind will think you're just like any of the other guys I dated and I can reject you from the start ... and I won't be hopeful and go through another failed relationship." He fully explains, sinking to the wooden floor, eyes bawling out. "So please, just say it so I can move on with my pathetic life. I just can't go through another relationship with a guy that will leave me because he thinks he's better than me ... because he is better than me." James cries, wallowing in a puddle of his tears.

"Come here," Kendall shakes his head and grabs James' arm. James jerks, pulling back but Kendall is not taking no for an answer. "I said get up." He forcefully latches onto the arm again and pulls James to his feet. "There is a bench right there," he points to the end of the pier just overlooking the water of the clean lake. "I want you to sit on that bench and wait for me. You are going to sit there not because I told you to but because you want to watch the moon reflect off the water or some sappy crap like that. I am tired of you mopping about your life. You need to enjoy it. So get your ass to that bench and watch the moon." Kendall shoves him in the right direction and walks to the bonfire.

James turns his fear filled head, watching Kendall walk down the pier before he treks to the end of the other side. He takes his seat and does what Kendall told him but he doesn't feel it. The moon beautifully reflects off of the water and the moonlight breaks on the ripples as if there are more stars on the lake than in the sky but he doesn't feel it. He doesn't care for the beauty of nature because frankly, in his life, nothing is beautiful.

"Ok, then," Kendall groans, sitting down next to him. He extends a new bottle to James. "This is expensive. So you better not throw it into the lake and drink it. I don't care if you call this force drinking, peer pressure or whatever. You better drink."

James sighs and takes the bottle, rolling it in his hand. It's a shiny blue bottle with a pink screw on easy cap for people to easily uncap without a bottle opening, basically, a girl's beer. Comparing it to Kendall's, his is a dark amber bottle with a simple name printed, a guy's beer. "Why did you give me a-"

"Don't say anything, just be happy." Kendall interrupts, gulping down his beer. "That was the best looking bottle and I thought you would appreciate it because you're the best looking guy I know and that was the best looking beer in the cooler. You know, meant for each other."

"Oh ... thanks." James blushes, still playing with the bottle. He reads the label around it first, admiring its shape. It really is a beautiful bottle. He takes a sip. Even though it a bit fruitier than most beer, actually all the beers he ever drank, he enjoys that it's different. Even though it's a good looking beer like all the beers he tried in the past, it's sweeter. "Thanks Kendall." He smiles, taking another drink.

"See, was it so hard to just enjoy yourself?" Kendall asks with a smile so bright that it would give James a run for his money. "You don't even have to fall for me if you don't want to. Just enjoy the night, enjoy yourself and just know that you deserve everything."

"Thanks, Kendall," James sincerely means it. But he still doesn't understand. What is Kendall's angle? Why is Kendall doing this? Is this a plot to get James in bed? Kendall already got him to drink, and being nice? This is definitely a plot for sex but then why does James feel it's different? "Hey Kendall?"

"Yea?" He coughs as he chokes on the cold beer. James laughs a bit at Kendall's sudden misfortune.

"Why are you nice to me? I already told you that I am not interesting and if I am interesting in you, I'm not going to do anything, not after what just happened." James honestly asks. He might be different, but that isn't a reason for James to open up, right?

"Ok then. I don't normally have people be this open to me and not want to jump in my pant but ok. I'm nice to you because I think you deserve move than this. But tell me, what did 'just happened' to you?" Kendall asks, finishing off his beer and leans back.

James smiles, feeling relaxed when Kendall rests an arm across the back of the bench, touching James' back and fingers lingering on James' arm on the other side. "You know Logan, the kid that has a crush on Carlos? I asked him to be my boyfriend because I thought maybe I can teach him to be a good boyfriend, one that will love me for who I am and all that. I haven't had much success with finding that person yet so I wanted someone I can mold into a boyfriend that loves me. Logan fits that description but there were so many signs. I should have seen it coming."

"What signs?" Kendall asks after watching James sighing. He wraps his fingers around James' arm, comforting him. Surprisingly, James leans his head, resting on Kendall's shoulder.

"Everything. Logan would talk about Carlos being his hero. Logan said that Carlos begged him to be my boyfriend and Logan agreed because he would do anything for Carlos. And all the touching and groping. Logan is the most sexual guy I know. He kept grabbing Carlos' nipples and pecs. It's weird."

"Well Carlos does have massive pecs so I can't blame him but go on." Kendall agrees.

"And I should have known when Logan confessed to me that he loves Carlos. Actually last night, when I tried to get Logan to say 'I love you' to me, he confessed that he loves Carlos. There were so many signs and I was stupid. I saw the signs, I just… I don't know. Stupid, I guess." James breathes deeply, closing his eyes.

"You're not stupid. You're blinded," Kendall offers a different perspective. "You're not stupid. You're blind and like you said, your mind tells you what to do. You wanted me to be a jerk to trick your mind into thinking that I suck. Same with Logan. Your mind wanted you to be blind just so you can have some shred of hope in that ugly brunette. Actually, you were really blind if you didn't notice how ugly Logan is. I would never date him."

James tries to stiffen his laugh, but it comes out, rolling fits uncontrollably. "Thanks for that laugh. I don't think you're completely right about Logan but thanks for the laugh. I haven't had a good one in awhile."

"No problem, you deserve it and everything else ... James …" Kendall starts, waiting for James to look up at him with his hazel brown eyes. "James, you deserve more than you think you do. Don't sell yourself short and try to makes a guy love you. You have guys in love with you and would kill to be with you. Don't force a guy to love you. Just know that there is a guy out there that already does."

"And you think you're that guy?" James asks, wondering if that is what Kendall is referring to.

"Nope." He shakes his head. "I am not talking about me this time. I admit, I am perfect but if you don't want me then I won't step in your way. I'll back off and let you choose. At most, I'll be here to help you, be someone you can talk to but as a boyfriend, nah. As long as you don't want me or your mind says no to me, I'll back off. And as you can see, I haven't mentioned sexing you tonight so you should know, I am giving you space."

"Thanks Kendall," he repeats, feeling like this is the hundredth time he thanked Kendall in one night. "No really, Kendall. Thanks for everything, the space, the advice and the beer." Kendall chuckles at James shaking the wet blue bottle in the air. "You seem like the guy that would stop at nothing to get what you want but you didn't… You didn't fight me for a chance."

"Well, I don't think a relationship should start with a fight, maybe a sexy chase or a hot, sweaty tango but not a fight. If I can't have you, I should at least make you happy, right?"

"Right." James scoffs. "Tell that to my past boyfriends. They don't care about me. It's all about having sex and then leaving the next morning. All of them except actually no, Logan too. Every single one of them was in bed with me and then left as if they can take everything I am and that I am nothing."

"That is not true." Kendall whispers softly, patting James' face into his chest. "You are more than sex. I didn't have sex with you and I'm happy just sitting here with you. But James, really, don't think that you're nothing. You deserve so much more and I hate to see you cry. I would give you the world if I can because you deserve it."

"Ha, funny Knight." James sneers. "I would just be happy if I can have a single date where sex is not a factor."

"Well then, you might get that wish." Kendall says and James raises an eyebrow. He watches Kendall stand up in front of him holding out a hand. "Would you like to go to the bonfire with me?"

"What?" James shrieks out, surprised.

"Would you like to go to the bonfire with me and _only_ the bonfire? I promise that after the fire is done, you can go home in your car and I'll go to my house in my friend's car. So there is no sex, just fun. What do you say to two friends enjoying a fire?" Kendall tilts his head slightly and beams at James.

"It sounds perfect." James throws his hand on top of Kendall's, and uses it to pick himself up. He stares into Kendall's green eyes. They were beautiful yesterday but with the moonlight directly above them, James can see the lunar's glimmers bouncing off his golden green irises. They are different than the typical beauty James encounters as a model. They are warm and sincere like a pair of a mother's arms holding a baby with a nightmare at night; or like Kendall is honest to God, telling the truth, being a genuine friend. That maybe, Kendall is different than all of the other good looking guys James faced in the past.

He's different, James thinks with a smile growing on his face.

"Sounds like you really are a blond knight from those children stories." James jokes.

"Wow," Kendall interjects, walking towards the fire holding the brunette's hand. "And this is why I think of you as the drama dork but that won't discourage me from you tonight."

"Geez, thanks Knight," James sneers and laughs, playfully punching Kendall's arm.

"I call them when I see them." Kendall replies, quickening their pace on the sand until James freezes rock solid. "James?" He shakes him but seeing that the pupils in James' eyes disappear, James must be seeing a ghost or someone at the fire. "James?"

"Never mind, I ca-can't go," he stutters, trying to walk back but Kendall holds firmly onto his wrist. "Kendall, let go!"

"No! What's wrong?" Kendall asks, pulling him back.

"Nothing. I just realizing I don't want to be with you, so let go."

"Bull! What is the real reason?" Kendall forcefully tugs.

"It is! I'm not interested, remember?"

"Stop dancing around! Just be honest with me, James. I am here for you." Kendall tenderly reminds him.

"Fine." James accepts, his face losing its tan and turning paste white. "I dated that guy." He points to the glowing brunette with a guy and a girl leaning on both of his sides.

"Who? Jett?" Kendall asks, doing a double take at him. "You dated Jett?"

James nods. "More than dated. We had sex and then in the morning he told me I'm worthless, that sex is the only thing good about me and that sucked." He starts tearing again and it gets Kendall's blood boiling.

"Wait right here." Kendall commands, letting go of his arm.

"What? No, let's go back to the pier or home or something, Kendall." James says, grabbing Kendall's hand but the blonde flicks him off.

"Stay here." Kendall aggressively commands and points to the ground before briskly walking to the fire. James watches, fearing what might happen. Is Kendall going to Jett to ask about sex or laugh with him about how pathetic James was and is? James doesn't know but a billion things flood his mind and every single one of his thought is not positive.

But Kendall surprises him again. Jett stands up and Kendall throws a punch right at Jett's nose. James gasps, covering his mouth. No one has ever stood up for him before or did what Kendall just did. The athlete grabs Jett's collar, punching his gut and throws him onto the rough log before giving him a final kick. It must have hurt and Kendall must be furious for James to hear Kendall yell "if you ever fuck James Diamond again, I'll fuck you" from where he's standing.

"Wow," James mouths, watching Kendall walk to him. "Why?" He directly asks Kendall.

"I hate guys that don't know how to treat people." Kendall frankly answers and walks pass James.

"Wait, where are you going?" James calls, running up to catch Kendall as they head to the packing lot.

"Home. It took an hour and a half to get here by car so if I walk, It'll take at least five hours. I have to start walking now." Kendall explains.

"You didn't drive here?"

"Nope. Jett drove me before I found out he is a douche." Kendall glares back at the bonfire before turning to fake a smile at James. "Well, I got to go. Bye-"

"Wait, Kendall." James jumps, holding his hand. "That was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." James says, awe struck.

"I doubt it." Kendall jokes lightheartedly. "Your best friend is Carlos. That boy would give up his life for anyone, even strangers. He gave up his love of Logan to you. I think that is nicer than any punch, any day."

"Just take the complement that I like you." James blurts, blushing after confessing. He slaps his hands over his mouth.

Kendall snickers and smiles. "Well, if it makes you happy, thank you for the consideration but I have to start walking if I want to get home by…" He checks his watch; one A.M. "If I want to get home by six or noon. I like to walk slowly."

"Let me drive you." James offers, pointing to his car. "I can drive you home."

"Nah, I don't want to bother you with driving me and then driving to your house."

"Then spend the night at my house. I have a bunch of guest room and stuff."

"Nah. Again, I don't want to bother you."

"It's no bother."

"James, I don't-"

"I want you to come home with me." James begs, tightening his grip on Kendall's hand.

"Is that the real reason?" He asks and James nods his head shamelessly. Kendall grins. "I guess I'm going home with you."

* * *

><p>I don't know if anyone got this, but my favorite part to write was James' beer. I'm a sucker for metaphorical analogies. I compared Kendall to James' beer; "Even though it's (Kendall is) a good looking beer (guy) like all the beers (guys) he tried in the past (his past boyfriends), it's (Kendall is) sweeter. (They are) Meant for each other." lol. Sorry. I'm just a sucker for figurative writing. Idk, if anyone got it (it was subtle) but Idk. I like this kind of writing :).<p>

Anyway, sorry about my ramble about figurative writing when I suck at it lol.

Please review :).


	14. James of Heart

Happy birthday Logan! (The guy that ruins my life) I hope he has a wonderful, skateboard (cargan) filled birthday.

This chapter might be a bit more mature but nothing, well ... I kept it PG-13. There are a couple of curse words and mentions of sex but nothing bad in the chapter. So, enjoy =]

* * *

><p><strong>James of Heart<strong>

Tossing on the bed, Carlos wakes up to a boy lying on the right side of his body, wrapped in his arms. He finally wakes up with a smile, remembering how good it feels to start an early day with a grin on his face.

"Morning," he whispers into Logan's ear, stoking down his boyfriend's naked back. It's been a long time since he ever had someone in his bed, pressing softly into his chest. He gives Logan's tender ear a quick kiss and whispers "morning" again to wake him up.

"Mmm, pancake," Logan mumbles into Carlos' pecs. He exhales warmth into them, tickling the embracing Latino.

"Morning to you too, Logie-bear," Carlos breathes into Logan's ear. His grin widens at their exchange of nicknames.

"No. I want pancakes." Logan murmurs. Carlos chuckles, shaking his head and nesting it into Logan's hair. He guesses the only thing his boyfriend can think about in the morning is food.

"Fine, Logie," he huffs, unwrapping himself.

"Wait!" Logan pulls him back, forcing Carlos to lay flat on his back. He then rolls, his body pressing completely on top of Carlos', face inches away from Carlos'. "You forgot my morning kiss."

"So ... all I am are pancake and kisses to you?" Carlos light heartedly jokes, sliding his arms around the boy on top of him and between his legs. Logan nods his head.

"Yep and don't forgot your body. Kissing, pancakes and sleeping on your body. Three best things about my boyfriend, Carlos." Logan lists, wrapping his arms around Carlos' neck, preparing for a kiss.

Carlos doesn't know how or where Logan learned to be intimate (well probably from James and watching age inappropriate movie with him) but he has to have a talk about it with Logan. There is no way he is going to let Logan do anything like kissing in bed, hugging without clothes, or sleeping naked ... well, there is no way Carlos is going to let Logan do any of that starting soon. Hopefully Logan will understand not to be his normal sexual self ... hopefully.

"Logie, what did I say yesterday?" Carlos babies him, using his "adult" voice after they kissed.

"You said less tongue and to stop swirling it in your mouth." Logan recites, rolling his eyes. Carlos still doesn't understand where Logan learned this stuff. This isn't something you learn from watching TV. Maybe this is something you're born with. _Oh God, I'm dating a naturally born slut, _Carlos thinks. "But that's not fair! If I don't use my tongue and you never use your tongue then I won't taste your-"

"This is too mature."

"NOT FAIR!" Logan yells at Carlos' soft spoken words. "Carlos is a meanie. I can't bite and I can't use my tongue. And you won't take a bubble bath with me."

"I told you, Logie." He sways the angry body on top of him, cracking a happy laugh. "I'm not going to be a typical boyfriend."

"I bet James would take a bubble bath with me," Logan mumbles under his annoyed breath.

"Then, do you want to go back to James?" Carlos asks, bluffing as he sits them both at the edge of the mattress.

"Maybe. Will it make you jealous enough to take off your pant? How come I never got to see your-"

"Ok Logan! This is way too mature!" Carlos slides him off and gets off of the bed. He throws on a shirt, which he picks up from the floor, and turns to the mad, arms crossed brunette on the bed. He points a finger at him. "Logan. If you want to be my boyfriend then you have be a good boy and good boys don't bite, don't do that thing with their tongue and do not ever try to pull my pant off when I'm sleeping."

"Well you won't let me take off your pant when you're awake," Logan huffs, turning his eyes away from Carlos. He's mad to say the least but Carlos is ok with it. He's not going to corrupt Logan any further than what he is although Logan currently is not something to be proud of. Thank god Logan does not know what sex is or else Carlos is in big trouble.

"And that reminds me, someone has to learn to wear-"

"Ok, Ok! I won't bother you about your pant," Logan shrieks. They had this talk last night and Logan wasn't the happiest person when he found out Carlos' love for clothes, especially skinny jeans. He doesn't think it is fair for Carlos to wear clothes that shows off his legs and butt like that; like a tease. He prefers if Carlos is going to tease him, then Carlos might as well tease him without clothes. "I hate you!"

"Then no pancake for you."

"But I love pancake," he whines.

"Then who do you love more?" Carlos taunts, turning his back to Logan and starts walking down to the kitchen. He smirks, knowing Logan's weakness.

"I love you, Carlos. I want two, no five pancakes!" He screams and bounces on the bed. "And I want maple syrup!"

"You got it, Logie."

Soon enough, Carlos finishes making the meal, inviting Logan to sit on his lap. The brunette hops on with his bare bottom and opens his mouth for his boyfriend to feed him.

"So tell me again, why are still naked after I told you to put on pants yesterday?" Carlos asks, feeding the naked boy. He continues feeding him nonetheless but still, Carlos hoped that if he told Logan to do something, the boy will do it.

"You said I have to wear clothes if I help you cook but I didn't cook. So I don't have to wear clothes." Logan answers smugly like a lawyer, chewing on the soaked piece of breakfast.

"No, I said-"

"Stop telling me to wear clothes," Logan whines, pouting his puppy eyes at his boyfriend. "Don't you want to be naked? Don't you want me to be on top of you?"

Carlos blushes, choking on his pancake. He coughs, the blush intensifying on his cheeks. Logan cheerfully pats Carlos' back and lowers his lips to Carlos' ear. "I think you like me naked."

"That's too mature!" Carlos shifts around, moving Logan away from his groin. He doesn't wants Logan to be sitting on his thingie right now for obvious reasons. "Eat!" Carlos shoves another bite into Logan's mouth. Logan smirks and ducks his head to the fork.

"You know," he swallows the sweet treat and starts talking. "I think when you say 'mature'," Logan uses air quotation marks. "That word means something you like, something you really like."

"No, I think you should listen to me and do what I tell you. Open wide," Carlos trying to diverge from the conversation, stuffing his boyfriend's mouth. "Mature means that you are too young to do it, trust me, Logie. You are too young and innocent to talk about mature things."

"But-"

"No buts Logie. Just eat," Carlos cuts in, forking another bite. Logan smiles and watches Carlos stuff a forkful in his own mouth. He giggles, finding Carlos' clean, slightly pink and tan cheek swirling with every chew the cutest sight he ever seen. He closes in and presses a sweet kiss to his boyfriend's cheek, leaving a sticky maple syrup print of his lips on Carlos' face, which he knows will make Carlos mad.

"Logie," Carlos hisses, throwing the fork down and glares at Logan. Logan chuckles, prepared for him to yell but instead, Carlos lightly kisses Logan's nose with a smile, lingering maple syrup on the button feature. Logan doesn't understand why Carlos didn't nag him.

"Don't change, Logie. Be your adorable, naïve self." Carlos states. He would have yelled but thinking about it, he wants Logan to stay immature, playful, and fun. He absolutely doesn't want Logan to be an adult just yet. He knows, in time, Logan will grow up but for now because Logan didn't have a normal childhood, he wants what's best for him.

"Huh?" Logan still doesn't get it. He wanted to push Carlos to the edge for fun but that didn't work. But Logan has another plan, a more devious plan that he knows for sure will bother Carlos. "Sorry, Carlos. Let me clean it up."

"What?" Carlos shrieks, trying to turn his head but Logan clamps it in place and licks up the side of his cheek with his wide, flatten tongue. Carlos' cheeks flush the golden tan and turn bright pink. His body is frozen and petrified. The only movements and sounds he can make are tiny trembles and weak "eeps."

Logan snickers and smirks his lips at Carlos' ear. "Is it mature if I lick your ear?" Logan asks but he does it anyways.

Carlos is fighting it, trying to open his mouth to tell Logan to stop. He's truly fighting the urge but it's hard to fight when Logan is apparently so skillful with his tongue. When did he learn this?

_Ding dong!_

"OH THANK GOD!" Carlos jumps from the chair, nearly knocking Logan over. Logan huffs, mumbling something like "I wasn't done" or "I want to lick Carlos," or something completely inappropriate but Carlos doesn't want to listen.

"Stay here, Logan. I have to answer the door." Carlos commands, running down the hall. He wipes his ear of Logan's sticky saliva, shuttering at his inability to control himself and Carlos thought he had Logan under control... maybe giving into being Logan's boyfriend wasn't the best idea. He sighs, knowing this is a problem for the future but for now, he has to check the door.

"James?" He looks up and down his crying friend whom is only wearing a pair of green dotted boxers. James looks horrible. His eyes are puffy red, his lips are swollen and his pale body is quaking with terror. "What happened?"

"I-I-I don't know," he stutters, crossing his arms across his stoned chest. "I was at the beach, went home and then I don't know. It happened so fast," James cries.

"Wait, what happened?" Carlos inquires, pulling James in and shutting the door. James continues trembling even in the warmer closed room, tears wetting his face.

"I had-"

"Jamie?" Logan pops in front of them. James' eyes widen at the sight of his ex-boyfriend. Suddenly his body burns up, making his chest and face beet red. He curls his fingers in fists, furious at seeing his ex-boyfriend naked on the opposite side of the hallway behind Carlos.

"SEX!" He screams, shocking Carlos and confusing Logan. He directs his voice to Logan. "Are fucking kidding me?"

"James, language!" Carlos yells at him, holding James' arm. The taller brunette tries to trek to Logan but Carlos has him in place, arms wrap around his waist.

"No I won't fucking watch my language! One day was all it took for that punk ass brat to get over dating me and to have fucking glorious sex with you!"

"James! We didn't have sex and shut up!"

"What's sex?" Logan innocently asks. Carlos mentally slaps himself. He hoped for Logan not to finding out about sex. Well, that's not going to happen now.

"Go to our room, Logan!"

"Oh, it's 'our' room now? What is that? Is it 'our' sex bed too?" James mocks, trying to rip Carlos' hands off. He claws at Carlos' knuckles.

"What's sex?" Logan repeats in a whiny voice, watching James trying to escape.

"Oh, you don't know? It's fun and everyone wants it! It's so easy to get! I have sex all the fucking time! And Carlos loves it!"

"No, I don't! Shut up James!" Carlos wraps his arms around James' bare waist after James escapes, pulling back. "Logan! Go to our room!"

"No! I want sex! Carlos loves sex!"

"Are you kidding me, James?" Carlos struggles to hold back his muscular friend.

"No! How the hell did you get a decent boyfriend and sex but all I got are fucking assholes and Kendall?" He yells, jabbing Carlos with his elbows.

"I want sex!" Logan whines, shrieking at Carlos.

"Go to our room, Logan. Now!"

"No I want sex! I want sex with you now!"

"That is too mature! Good job, James." Carlos sneers, grunting at James' low blows to his stomach.

"Oh you want sex with Carlos?" James mocks Logan. The shorter brunette nods his head, not registering James' obvious anger.

"Shut up, James!" Carlos wheezes, grabbing both of James' biceps from behind.

"Hey, Logan you're already naked. Get on the bed and throw both your legs up in the-"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Carlos finally snaps, finding enough strength to slam James against the wall. The house shakes, a picture frame and a vase fall to the polished wooden floor, shattering into pieces. James hisses, rubbing his pained shoulders.

Logan trembles, cowering behind a door. He watches Carlos, scared of what his boyfriend might do. Carlos just hovers over James, his fists shaking at his side. "Logan," he whispers softly, his voice echoing in the quiet hallway. He turns his head, his forehead scrunched in wrinkles and his eyes shut close to hold in his tired, anguished tears. Logan nods his head.

"Please go to our room. Please just ... please," Carlos faintly cries and Logan knows it's not an appropriate time for joking or fooling around.

"Sorry, Carlos," Logan nods his head again and takes one last stare at his boyfriend before walking. "Please still love me."

Carlos opens his eyes and nods at Logan's back as the boy enters the first door to the right. He breathes, regulating his emotions before facing his friend on the floor.

James looks down, knowing that Carlos is staring at him with judging, hateful eyes. He shouldn't have done that to Carlos, talked about sex to Logan but everything in his life is going wrong. Just like two night ago when James snapped at Logan, he did it again, lashing his anger and pain on the defenseless boy. But at least this time, Carlos is here to defend him. He's grateful for that but still, James shouldn't have done it.

"How dare you do that, James? In my house? Do you know what the hell you just did?" Carlos asks, talking as if he's James' parent.

"Sex." James whispers under his breath.

"Damn right you did! You just-"

"No Carlos," James cries, staring up at Carlos with his broken, watery eyes. He doesn't move and Carlos realizes what James means. This is bigger than his outburst with Logan. It's something deeper. "I had sex again." he cries, laying his head on both of his propelled knees.

Carlos sighs and kneels, caressing James' shoulders. "Come on, James." Carlos tenderly comforts. "Let's go to the living room." His friend nods, sniffling.

Handing James a soft pillow, Carlos sits down across from him, waiting for James to get comfort on the empty sofa. James doesn't move, hugging the pillow to his naked chest. "James, do you want to talk about it?"

James sighs, exhaling a heavy load. He closes his eyes, trying to remember everything that happened last night.

...

"_So this is my house," James leads Kendall through the front door. He stumbles a bit, tripping over his left leg, falling onto the wall._

"_Wo-oh there," Kendall rests a hand on his shoulder, chuckling at James' tipsiness. James only drank one beer the whole night. Kendall assumed the boy can drink at least a couple more before he is even tipsy but he guesses alcohol affects everyone differently. Luckily, James was able to drive home safely. "You should sit down. Where is your living room?" Kendall lets James lean on him, holding him up with one arm around his shoulders. _

"_It's to the right but I don't know. I can normally drink this many beers." James says, holding five fingers in the air, in front of Kendall's face._

"_That's nice." He comments, dragging the buzzed owner to the couch._

"_No really, I am a great drinker. I've gotten drunk all the time." He emphasizes by swinging his right arm through the air horizontally._

"_That's nice, James." Again, Kendall just says it to be polite. "Here you go, James." He groans, rolling James onto the sofa, resting his head on the armrest. James giggles, curling his arms and legs to his chest for a second. He opens his eyes, beaming a smile to Kendall's face directly above his. "Sit with me."_

"_Oh no, James. You need to sober up."_

"_No, sit with me," he says in a bubbly voice, pulling on Kendall's forearm. Kendall sighs and shakes his head, but reluctantly sits at the edge of the cushion under James' body._

"_You need to rest. If one beer-"_

"_No, I'm not drunk yet," James giggles, sitting up and side pressing on Kendall's side. "One beer is nothing. I'm not drunk."_

"_Still, I'm not sure you're in a good condition. You need to lie down."_

"_No, I can just lean on your shoulders. I'm fine. I'm sexy. And I'm James Diamond for God sake."_

_Kendall chuckles and smiles. "Finally, you said something good about yourself." Kendall whispers under his breath. "And it only took one beer."_

"_What was that?" _

"_Nothing. Don't worry about it." Kendall shakes his head and gets up. "Well, good night, James. I'll find an empty room."_

"_No wait!" James pulls Kendall back down. "It's only three-ish. Who sleeps this early? Come on, Kendall. Have some fun."_

"_What fun are you thinking about?" Kendall skeptically asks, raising an eyebrow._

"_I don't know. Do you mind just talking to me? Just for an hour or two, tops. Please." James asks, folding his hands together. He shyly looks down, embarrassed of his plead._

"_Just talking?" The blonde asks._

"_Yea … just talking." Kendall waits to see if James was alluding to something else but James isn't. "I'm not drunk, I told you!"_

"_And I believe you because?"_

"_Look Kendall, I just need someone to talk to. I don't care what we talk about but I'm … relaxed and I don't know … happier when you talk to me?" James says but his voice jumps around, sounding shy and unsure. "Just talk to me. I really need someone right now and I don't want to talk to Carlos. He's great but he's just going to act like a parent and that's great if I need advice or a shoulder but right now, I just want someone different. You know what I mean?" James finishes, out of breath. He curls his legs up to his chest and chews on his bottom lip. _

"_No, I don't think I know what you mean." James sighs and shakes his head. "But if you want to talk, I don't mind listening." And to that James lightens up, smiling. _

"_Thanks Kendall." _

"_No problem but do you have beer in the fridge? I'm going to need something if I'm going to stay up."_

"_I don't have anymore beer but I have a bottle of Johnny blue." Kendall jerks back and stares at him blankly. "What? Scotch is my favorite and my dad brought it for me."_

"_No, that wasn't what I was thinking. Johnny Walker Blue label is expensive."_

"_Just think of it as thanks for talking to me." James bounces off the couch and opens the glass cabinet in the adjoined dinning room. He falls back on the couch, cross-legged and hands Kendall a shot glass. _

"_Well, if you insist. I never turned down good liquor." Kendall holds out his tiny cup, watching James uncorking the beautiful bottle. "Salud!" Kendall raises his filled glass._

"_Cheers!" James does the same, them both downing the shots. They hiss, feeling the warm drink sliding smoothly down their throats._

"_Wow, I haven't had Johnny in a while, not that I have the money for it."_

"_Really? You're a hockey player. I expected you to be rich or as rich as I am." James says all surprised. _

"_Nope," Kendall shakes his head, letting James pour him another shot. "Salud."_

"_Cheers!" They down another one._

"_Nope, I'm not rich. I'm practicing to be a hockey player. I don't get paid yet. I do get free travel and food though but that is paid by the company."_

"_Wow, you just became less attractive now that I know you're poor." James jokes and Kendall pushes him lightly._

"_Hey! Money doesn't satisfy you as much as I can." Kendall cockily retorts, making James laughs and wobbles his hand as he pours another for the both of them. "Salud."_

"_Cheers." James toasts. This time, he sways a bit, blanking for a second. "So, Kendall."_

"_Yea?" Kendall hiccups, feeling James falling onto his shoulder. "James?"_

"_Nothing. Oh right. What made you decide that you wanted to be a hockey person player athlete person?" Kendall crooks his face, knowing James is reaching his limit and, this time, there is no way James is faking this. _

"_Well, no, no, no, James!" Kendall beginning but quickly tries to stop James from pouring another glass. "You're going to get drunk."_

"_I'm at home, dad." James mocks, pouring more for the both of them. Kendall shakes his head, watching James spilling some on the wooden floor; such a waste of expensive scotch. "Cheer!"_

"_Salud." They finish drinking and before Kendall can react, James is already dispensing another. "James! Good scotch is supposed to be drunk slowly." Kendall doesn't care if that was true or not. He just wants James to slow down. He isn't feeling drunk at all but looking at James, he knows his host is getting there. _

"_Boo, Knight," James hisses, dumping the last bits into both of their cups. He drops the bottle on the floor and holds his glass to Kendall for their last toast, Kendall hopes. "I have another bottle in the basement if you want more. I'm pretty rich, no. I'm very rich and extremely pretty." He hiccups and waits for Kendall to lift his shot. Kendall sighs and raises his glass. "Cheers."_

"_Salud." The last shot tastes great to Kendall. He definitely wants more but seeing James swinging his head in circles, Kendall doesn't think it's the best idea to ask for that second bottle. "Ok, I think we're done."_

_James stands up dazedly. "No, no I can-"_

"_James, no." Kendall pulls the boy down and he falls onto Kendall's body. Kendall doesn't know if it's because he's a bit tipsy but he can't get up or push James off his laying body. "Umm James… Can you get off me?"_

"_I can't. Can we just lay down? I rather lay on you." James extends his legs out, lying straight on top of Kendall, sandwiching the blonde's body against the back of the sofa. _

"_Sure, I guess." Kendall squirms but in any direction, he is still on bottom of James, lips perched at his ears. He wants to squeeze upwards but that was impossible with James holding his hands. "Umm James…"_

"_Continue your story. I didn't get to hear why you like hockey." James asks, holding Kendall's hands around his chest. _

"_James, this position is pretty intimate and I'm really not comf-"_

"_No one has ever held me like this in a long time." James interrupts him, playing with Kendall's fingers. He weaves his index between Kendall's knuckles, feeling the bumps and ridges of the athlete's hands. "Just tell me your story."_

_Kendall sighs but sympathizes with James, letting him play with his hands. "I used to watch hockey games with my dad. He was a huge hockey fan and every time the Wilds won a game, my dad would wake me out of bed and we'd watch the rerun of the game." Kendall starts chuckling, remembering his past. "My mom used to get so pissed because it was three in the morning and I had school the next day. I was six, so staying up wasn't a good idea. And then I turned nine and my dad brought me a real hockey stick. It was the best day of my life. He took me to the ice rink every weekend after my birthday and we just played until the sun went down. It was special."_

"_That's cool. Where is your dad now?" James asks, tracing the word "dad" on Kendall's hand. The hand jerks when James finishes drawing. "Kendall?" He calls after waiting a minute._

"_He died." Kendall whispers. "He had cancer. I had ten Sundays and nine Saturdays at the rink with him before he left."_

"_I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"_

"_No, it's fine." Kendall inhales sharply. "My dad kept it a secret from me. Well, my dad and mom. They didn't want me to worry and just be a kid, I guess. But …" Kendall sighs. "I guess my dad tried everything to make me, to keep me happy like he was my hero." Kendall adds, brimming a smile. He never told people his story like this. Normally if someone asked why he wanted to be playing hockey, Kendall would say it's his life long dream but for some reason, he feels like he was obligated to give James a full answer. _

"_So, you play hockey for your dad?"_

"_A little. At first, I played, pretending he's there cheering for me but one day, my sister, Katie, came to the ice rink and shouted 'DADDY.' Of course she thought I was dad but that day was the first day she started smiling again. It took my sister three weeks to smile again and it took me three weeks and a minute to smile. The moment I saw my baby sis smiled, I smiled, knowing I had to be the big man of the house. It was my responsibility to make my sis happy. So every weekend I'd played on the ice rink until my mom and sis picked me up with smiles on their faces. I was happy, living my dad's passion and making my family happy." Kendall smiles, picturing his sister's face eleven years ago. _

"_So you're following your dad and love your family?" James asks. "That's why you wanted to be a hockey player?"_

"_Well, I became a hockey player to pick up pretty boys for sex too." Kendall jokes, laughing into James' ear._

"_Asshole." James jabs his elbow into Kendall's hard abs, making him choke. "Really Kendall? You're going to make a joke like that now?"_

"_Hey. I don't want you to think I'm some sappy fatherless kid. I have to say something to save my dignity."_

"_Well, maybe I like sappy fatherless guys." James taunts him, turning around in Kendall's arms. From his angle he really gets to see the glimmer in Kendall's green eyes. They're beautiful to him and James is pretty sure, it's not the alcohol talking. _

"_Well, I'm trying to be an asshole jerk just so you won't like me, remember?" Kendall tries to squirms out but James holds him down. Again, it might be the alcohol but James is not thinking straight. _

"_No, don't be something else. You're perfect." James doesn't blush, wrapping his arms around Kendall. He stares at Kendall's lips, remembering what Carlos and he were talking about and what Logan kept calling Carlos. "You're my hero."_

"_What?" Kendall shrieks but before he can say anything else, James crashes his lips onto Kendall's. "James, get off, now!" _

"_Have sex with me." He latches his lips back on Kendall's lips, trailing butterfly kisses on Kendall's define jaw line. "Take me."_

"_James, No! You are drunk and I'm not going to have sex with you!" Kendall tries to push him off but the combination of James' determination and the many alcoholic drinks he had, held him back. _

"_Take off my shirt," James claws at Kendall's collar, kissing the collarbone and sucking on the pulse of Kendall's neck. _

"_James! Stop it!" Kendall tumbles them. They fall on the floor, knocking the empty bottle away. "I'm not taking off your shirt or having sex with you!" _

"_Use your teeth if you don't want to use your hands. I'm fine with you biting my shirt off." James continues, clawing his shirt. Kendall can hear the fabric of his mesh tee ripping before James fully removes it. "Your turn."_

"_No, I am not doing this."_

"_Fine, I'll strip myself." James pants heavily, throwing his shirt off. Kendall takes his chance. When the shirt is over James' head, covering his eyes, Kendall flips him and pins both hands above his head. James' chest worms under Kendall's lap, head and hair flailing. "You can be rough if-"_

"_STOP IT, JAMES!" Kendall yells at him, waiting for James to calm down. "We are not having sex. I am not going be rough or anything! I told you, I'm not going to take advantage of you." _

"_I want it."_

"_No you don't! You're drunk." Kendall explains. _

"_Just… just have sex with me. Jett would have sex."_

"_And what makes you think I want to be like that God damn douchebag?" Kendall says crudely and bitterly. James stops moving, thinking for a second. Kendall shakes his head and blinks. "I told you. I want to be here to help you, not make this worst. You're a good person, James. I'm not going to ruin you. I want you to stay the way you are, pure and good-hearted." He explains and James stays frozen. _

"_You mean it?"_

"_Well, does it look like I'm having sex with you?" Kendall asks, knowing pretty well if anyone walks in on them; seeing Kendall sitting on James' chest, pinning both hands down is a pretty suggestive position. He jumps off. _

"_But Kendall …" James starts, sitting up. "I don't want you to be a friend. I want you to be my … hero." Saying the word feels foreign to him, especially after hearing Kendall calling his dad that and Logan calling Carlos that for so long. He just wants a hero to call his own too._

"_James… I'm not going to take-"_

"_You're not." James scoots closer to Kendall, linking their hands together. "You're not taking advantage if I want to give myself to you."_

"_James," Kendall sternly says, turning his head but James captures Kendall's lips in a kiss. This time, Kendall kisses back. "No, James, you're not thinking straight."_

"_I am. This time I know what is what. I want to have sex with you. This time, I'm not forced into sex. This time, I want to have sex. This time … I want you." James locks lips again, crawling on top of Kendall's lap. "Take me."_

"_James." Kendall still feels wary about this; he doesn't want James if alcohol is the reason of his cloudy judgment. But even though Kendall said he doesn't want James, there's still a part of him, the initial part of him that does want James ever since he saw the pretty boy in Carlos' living room. He thinks about if he should give into his temptation or not. There are many reasons why it's bad but he guesses giving in this time shouldn't be too wrong._

"_Whoa," James tipsily sways, wrapping his arms around Kendall's neck as he is lifted in the air with one of Kendall's arms under his back and the other under his knees. Kendall deeps the kiss, cradling James in his arms like a groom would do to the bride at a wedding. "I want you so badly." James pants._

"_I want you too. You looked so sexy on Carlos' porch wearing those tight jeans. You're such a tease." Kendall clumsily walks, bumping into everything on his way to the hallway as he's focusing his lips on James' neck. _

"_If you like my butt then, you'll love it without my pant on." James taunts, moaning at Kendall's forceful lips. _

"_Then one question. Where's your bed?"_

…

"He took advantage of you?" Carlos yells, curling his right hand into a fist. He can't believe what just happened to his best friend. How can Kendall do that? How can Kendall take advantage of James like that and think it was ok?

"Carlos, stop it," James asks, feeling unnerving, watching Carlos pacing hastily in a straight line. "Stop walking. It's making me sick." He holds his stomach with one hand while the other is clamped on his mouth, hoping he won't vomit.

"I can't believe Kendall did that!" Carlos repeats again for the fifth time, pulling at his hair. He sits down on the one-seat sofa and groans into his fists. "I thought Kendall is better than this but no. He is just like his cousin. I still can't believe he tricked you into having sex with him."

"It's not all his fault." James whispers, the guilt rising to his cheeks. James might be disgusted with himself but a part of him knows Kendall is not all to be blamed.

"Oh no! Don't defend that asshole." Carlos curses. He doesn't normal swear or uses these "socially bad" words but moments when his blood boils, a curse or two will fall from his pure lips. "You shouldn't defend that guy. He did it to you after you were completely honest with him. How dare he? You said you don't want sex."

"Actually-"

"You said you don't want to be with someone." Carlos rambles, not letting James get a word in.

"I never said-"

"You told him that you hate him."

"Carlos!" James cries, squeezing and collapsing chest. He dizzily tips forward, covering his mouth, feeling the nausea hit him. And before long, he dashes to the trash bin across the room, vomiting the acid in his stomach until all he can do is dry heave bile and acidic air up his burning throat. Carlos kneels behind him, patting his back.

"Are you ok, James?" The ghostly pale boy nods his head even though the both of them know he's not fine. Carlos swings James' arm over his shoulders and drags him back to the couch. He lays James down, returning back to his seat.

"It's not all his fault," James says hoarsely, coughing between each word. Carlos hands him a glass of ginger ale, hoping it will settle James' stomach even though Carlos knows James' stomach is not the real problem. "Thanks," he croaks.

"No problem bud you shouldn't stand up for Kendall. The guy knew you were drunk and did it anyways. If he was there for you and promised not to have sex, then he shouldn't have done it. You were in no shape to make decision." Carlos rationalizes, but James doesn't listen. He still thinks, drunk or not, he is still the same guy in the past, a sex toy meant to be tossed aside. And he knows that's not Kendall's fault. It's who he is and James knows it's his fault for being born this way, a worthless body.

"Carlos, I'm worthless." James mumbles, planking his face into the cushion. He cries silently, wishing that the sofa would just suffocate him. Dying is easier than facing the harsh reality of his messed up life.

"No you are not! James, you got to stop thinking that. You have everything that is important. You don't need Kendall. You don't need a boyfriend. You have me and everyone that loves you."

"I don't have someone that _loves _me." James says, the words sharply stinging Carlos. "I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have someone that wants me. All I have is a body meant for a whore."

"That is not true. You're my best bud." Carlos coaxes. "I love you, James. I will never leave you. You can always count on-"

"Car?" Logan calls from the next room, catching Carlos' attention.

Carlos turns around suddenly to his boyfriend hiding behind a pole. James picks up his head and watches his "best bud."

"Yea Logie?" Carlos waves at him, patting his lap. Logan sniffles as he walks to Carlos's lap, letting Carlos wrap his arms around his surprising clothed body. The brunette really is wearing clothes and all of it too, pant and shirt. He pats the back of Logan's head, letting Logan rest his head against his cheek. "Did you put on clothes for me?"

Logan nods his head, rubbing his wet dimple against Carlos' ear. "Please love me." He begs.

"Of course, I love you, Logie. I never will stop loving you." Carlos continues, stoking down Logan's back. James sighs and winces his eyes, letting a tear fall. If this sentimental moment happened at another time, he would be happy for Carlos but this confirms it. With Logan, Carlos just threw James aside like he is actually worthless.

"I'm sorry, Carlos. I promise to never talk about sex again until you tell me it's ok." Logan promises and Carlos smiles.

He kisses Logan's cheek and whispers in his ear. "You really are a good boy, Logie." And to this, Logan smiles, and embraces Carlos in his arms, adding to James' nausea.

"I got to go." James dazedly gets up, holding his head with his hand. He sways a bit, unbalanced with a headache coming. "I got to go home."

"Wait, James." Carlos slides Logan off to the side and follows James to the door. "Wait James, are you-"

"No! I am not ok!" James shouts back at him. "I'm not ok with any of this. How the hell am I ok knowing everyone can find someone but I can't?" James confesses, continues his trek to the front.

"James, you should stay for a while. Talking would make you feel better." Carlos offers but James doesn't feel any better; he feels worst in fact.

"No it won't!" He slams the door open, not caring that the gust of wind strikes his naked body. "Talking to you isn't making me feel better. It might have made me feel better in the past but now with Logan," he pauses, pointing to the brunette walking down the hallway to them. "With him, you're just waltzing around, showing off your awesome love."

"James, I never did-"

"Yes you do! I'm sick of watching you and Logan together. I hate it. You guys make me sick! I don't have anyone and you expect me to be ok watching you and Logan do that shit?" James yells, panting long, hard breaths.

Suddenly, Logan jumps into James, giving him a hug before Carlos can say anything.

"What the hell are you doing?" James asks, feeling Logan tightening his hug.

"Jamie needs a hug." Logan innocently states but James isn't amaze.

"Get off!" James commands and pushes Logan off of him. The brunette lands on the floor with a loud thump. He rubs his arm and hisses at the pain. Carlos stares at Logan with his wide eyes and instantly falls to his side.

"James!" He yells but James is already running down the street, turning right and out of his sight. He sighs and shakes his head pitifully.

"Carlos," Logan cries, lifting his elbow to Carlos' face, showing the cut.

"Does it hurt?" Carlos asks, getting a nod from his boyfriend. "Come here." He lifts Logan in his arms and kisses the open wound. "Is that better?" He turns on his feet and closes the door behind him before walking back to their room.

Logan nods his head. "Maybe you can kiss me again and make it not hurt?" Carlos chuckles and lays Logan on the bed. He jumps on the mattress and kisses the arm again. "No. This one." Logan points to the imaginary cut on his lips. Carlos rolls his eyes. This is the Logan he knows and loves.

"One kiss." Carlos replies, gently pressing his lips on Logan's.

"Thanks, Carlos." Logan yawns and turns to his side. He curls up into a ball and closes his eye for a late afternoon nap. Carlos beams a pleasant grin at Logan, thinking about how adorable he is asleep. He slides his shirt off and turns Logan's body around.

For a second, Logan was about to scream at Carlos for waking him up but the moment he sees Carlos' pecs, he smirks and dives in, using them as pillows. "Carlos' muscles." He announces, balling into Carlos' body. Carlos hums, happy to spend time with his boyfriend.

And that's when it hits him. Are they flaunting their love that much in front of James? Is this why James is so troubled? Are they the reason for James feeling worthless? Carlos sighs, wondering the answers. He knows Logan is too innocent to think about these things but Carlos is old enough. He shakes his head, pulling Logan closer into his frame.

He hopes for someone to show James that he's not worthless.

* * *

><p>Did anyone expect Kendall to do that to James? Lol Kendall is not a bad guy and he will make up for it =].<p>

And sorry if anyone thought this was more mature than usual. Tell me if you think it is (or is not) so I can make future chapters less (or more) suggestive with Logan's growth. The story will still be T-rated though. lol ;]

Please review =]


	15. Black Knight

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows =].

* * *

><p><strong>Black Knight<strong>

_The sunlight breaks through the sheer curtains, waking the sleepy brunette. James winces at his headache, blinking his already closed eyes. Tossing on the giant mattress, he wrinkles himself in the thin, white silk blanket. Slowly, he opens his crusty eyes, feeling around his bed and later his body. His back aches. His muscles are fatigue. And his butt, which hurts the most, feels like he was ripped last night but nothing happened last night or so James hopes. _

_Suddenly, a harsh string of noise, which sounds like someone copying a guitar, emits from the open connected bathroom. James finally registers the sounds of rushing water from the shower, realizing from his voice, a strange man is in his house. Who is it?_

_Slowly, James crawls to the edge of the bed, biting his lips to silence his groans. With every step, his body aches more and his naked butt feels like it was roughed and abused all night. Was that happened last night, James wonders. He hopes nothing happened last night but the ache, the headache and a mysterious man in his bathroom all points to the one thing James hopes did not happened. _

"_WAH!" James screams, slipping head first onto the soft carpet. He moans, rubbing his head and his shoulders from the impact. _

"_James?" The man in the bathroom calls and James instantly knows whom the voice belongs to, Kendall. "Is that you?" James freezes, trembling. He holds his head between his legs, squeezing it as if that will help him remember last night but it doesn't. _

"_Not very vocal in the morning either, are you?" Kendall laughs, continuing his long, steamy shower. "Hey thanks again for last night. I thought I was a bother to you but I had fun. No one has ever asked me about my dad before and it feels great to have someone listen. If you ever need someone to talk to at three in the morning, I'm your man." Kendall jokes._

_James looks up and exhales the gulp of air he's been holding. They didn't have sex. James was so relieved. He smiles, getting all worked up for nothing. Kendall was over for the night and they talked; nothing physical. "Thank god." James whispers to himself, wiping his sweaty forehead._

"_Hey James. What do you say to going out for breakfast?" Kendall offers. James nods his head to himself, opening his mouth to reply. "It wouldn't be right to have sex and not offer breakfast, right?" _

_And James collapses again, holding onto the bed for support. Immediately, flashes of what happened of their drunken night come back to James' mind. He sees himself on the bed, head banging against the dashboard with Kendall roughly holding onto his body from behind. He sees Kendall laying down, panting heavy breaths and himself crawling onto Kendall's side, spooning his body against Kendall. And he sees Kendall calmly tucking an arm under James tenderly and kisses his forehead. James' mind blurs and the last thing he remembers is Kendall whispering to him, "I won't leave you, James. Sweet dreams." _

_He slaps his hand over his mouth. Kendall did have sex with him. After drinking and talking about Kendall's past, Kendall carried James up to his master bedroom and had sex with him. That's why his body aches all over. That's why a man is in his shower. And that's why James is ghostly pale, holding his temples with both of his hands. _

"_Still not vocal, James? I'll take that as a yes and even if you say no, I'll force you to come. No pun intended." Kendall jokes, laughing a fit but it doesn't amuse James. It makes it worst and James can't believe Kendall would joke about sex like that, like everything was normal. No. Nothing is normal. Nothing is right about having sex. It wasn't supposed to happen._

_And what's worst, James can't believe he called Kendall his hero. Sure, Kendall held him last night and defended him against Jett at the beach but how can Kendall be his hero if they had sex? And sure James remembers he was the one whom told Kendall that he's ready for it but Kendall shouldn't have agreed. But … is it Kendall's fault? _

"_Or is it my fault," he asks himself, realizing Kendall is the not the bad guy here. He was the one that forced Kendall to do it. James bites his lips, trying to holding in his tears as he pins the blame on himself. He was the one that crawled on Kendall, convinced him he was ready but in the end, he's not. He's not ready for a relationship and definitely not ready for sex even if Kendall is the guy to be with. _

"_Hey James. You mind saying something or making some noise? I don't want to come out there and find out you're still passed out from being fucked." He laughs again, taking everything lightheartedly. _

_James continues gagging, choking on his thoughts. He feels sick and his vision gets more blurry by the second. He coughs, dry heaving as he thinking about how messed up his life is. Kendall may be perfect and a wonderful guy but James should not had thought he was ready for sex. _

"_James, are you ok? I hear coughing." Kendall asks, sounding alarm and concern. James feels sicker, holding his chest. He doesn't understand why Kendall is so concerned about him. They just had sex. Shouldn't Kendall be running out the door, leaving him like the rest of his past boyfriends? The question resonances in James' head as leans over the empty trashcan if he vomits._

"_The water is nice and warm." Kendall sings the invitation. "I'll make you feel better and clean your body."_

_That's it. James has enough of everything, Kendall being nice, them having sex, just everything. Everything is confusing and jumbled up in his head. He can't take it anymore. So he grabs the closest pair of pants to him, Kendall's boxer and dashes to the hallway, running into the door frame in the process. His nose hurts from the collision but that's the last thing on his mind. The one thing James wants is to see Carlos and ask him for help._

_..._

Dashing down the street, bare feet scratching against the pavement, James heaves painfully. His body sways, arms flailing everywhere pathetically as he blurs what's in front of him with the pain coursing in his head. He hoped that Carlos would help. That talking to his best friend would make him forget but nothing helped. It hurts watching Carlos' perfect life while his breaks down; the harsh reality that no matter what happens, he is never going to have that special somebody like Carlos has with Logan.

He stops walking, leaning against a tree on a deserted street. With a hand spread on his panting, exhausted chest, he slides down to the grass, not caring that the rough bark is tearing his back or that maybe someone is watching. But even if someone was watching, no humiliation is as bad as knowing that everything about him is a failure. Tears fall from his eyes. A faint whimper escapes his lips. He curls his legs to his chest, hiding his broken face from the world.

He knows that's what happened last night was his fault. He knows that Carlos was being the friend he needed, taking his side, defending him. Carlos could have been the rational one and fought that this whole thing was James' fault and nothing James can do or say is going to change it. James knows that and is happy to have someone like Carlos but even with Carlos' soft spoken words and best-bud support, James doesn't feel better. Maybe he is just destined to be a worthless whore for the rest of his loveless life. Fate is nothing but cruel to him anyways.

James wipes the remaining tears on his discolored face and begins walking back home. It not too chilly but he still folds his arms across his chest as if physically becoming smaller will make him feel invisible to the rest of the world. It doesn't help. The small crowds of people on the next block passing by him give him dirty looks like he's a cheap prostitute having his afternoon walk of shame. And what can he say to defend himself? His face is tear-stained, cheeks are red tinted, his body lost the glowing tan it used to have and all he's wearing is a pair of boxer, someone else's boxer. There is no defense for his shame because in his mind, he deserves every ounce of judgment these strangers cast on him.

Quickening his pace, James finally reaches his street, his mansion coming into his vision. He smiles a bit until he notices a boy sitting on his steps, watching him as he walks closer. It's Kendall, the last person James wants to see. The blonde hasn't done anything wrong but that doesn't mean James wants to see him or have anything to do with him.

"I noticed I'm not wearing underwear." Kendall states to the brunette walking up the steps, noting the lost expression on James' face. His eyes follow James walking to and passing him. "Not vocal now either?"

"Can you just leave me alone?" James coarsely asks with his sprained vocal chords. He turns the door, glad that it is unlocked and steps a foot in.

"Can you just talk for a second? It's not like you talked at all this morning." Kendall sarcastically remarks, throwing his hands in the air. He doesn't turn around, keeping his head facing the house across the street. The door slams behind him and he sighs that James is avoiding him again. "James. I know you're still there." Kendall says, rolling his eyes. As he predicted, James is leaning against the opposite side of the still unlocked door, collapsed on the floor. Kendall knows he can just open the door and force James to talk but the athlete rather not make James do anything he doesn't want to. Instead he wants James to listen.

"If you haven't notice, James, you're the one that left me." He didn't think that in his current frantic state. James didn't realize that Kendall stayed with him and he was the jerk that left without a reason.

The front door creeps open a bit, just enough for James to look at Kendall. The hockey player is still staring forward at the house, away from James. He waits, listening to what Kendall has to say.

"You know I tried to do the right thing. You said everyone left you after sex. You said everyone thinks you're worthless and a fucking whore. I wanted you to understand that not everyone thinks that about you. I wanted you to know that out there, someone is waiting for you, that you have someone special just wanting to love you. But I guess I was wrong in thinking that you can change. I thought you finally realized how special you really are." Kendall sighs and James watches as Kendall hunches his shoulders and relaxes, letting the winds breeze through his golden locks of hair.

"Do you really think that?" James whispers, standing up and opening the door. Kendall stills doesn't turn about. "Do you still think I'm special?" James repeats, taking a seat next to him. He folds his hands together, playing with his thumbs.

Kendall exhales audibly, enveloping his left palm over James' hands. "I told you, you were special from the beginning. You just don't understand how special you are."

"But that is because I'm not special." James states, gently sliding Kendall's hand onto his cotton-covered thigh. "When have I showed you I'm special?"

"Yesterday, when we got to your place," Kendall reminds him, clasping their fingers together. He holds the long fingers in his, smoothing his thumb over the soft back side of James' hand. "Yesterday when you were on the couch, leaning on my shoulder, you finally said that you're the great James Diamond and you're sexy. You're special and it took one beer to show it."

"I was drunk."

"After one beer? Doubt it." He rebuts, watching the faintest blush paint over James' cheeks. "I was just happy that you finally saw what I see in you."

"What do you see in me?" James asks, leaning his head on Kendall's shoulder, closing his eyes. At the slightest breeze, James can smell the pleasant soap Kendall used. It isn't strong but it compliments Kendall's already manly scent.

"Sexy, fun, beautiful, incredible. You are everything, James. What do you see?" Kendall releases his hand, wrapping it behind James' shoulders.

"Nothing. I told, I'm not anything special. I'm not sexy or fun or beautiful. I'm just lucky to be a model. I don't know what else I am." James gloomily answers, rubbing his nose on the exposed skin of Kendall's collarbone. Suddenly, he feels Kendall thumbing his front bangs, exposing the clear skin to the light. "What are you doing?" He asks, feeling his hair part ways and Kendall gently pressing a kiss to the his head "Kendall?"

"Does it hurt?" He whispers into James' ear. James blinks as another peck feathers his head. "James?"

"No, why?" He doesn't understand why Kendall is asking it, again being so concern about him.

"Because it's my fault. Last night you kept banging your head on the wall. And I guess I really got into it when you kept telling me to go faster and harder. I wanted to make sure you're ok." Kendall's voice isn't like the typical cocky, powerful voice James remembers. It sounds caring and warm. It confuses him that someone can have this sweet and loving tone with him.

"It's not your fault. I pressured you into having sex. If I'm hurt from this, it's my fault alone."

"No, it's not," Kendall fights and this baffles James too. No one fights for him. The only time anyone ever fought for him was at the beach and that was Kendall too. "It's not your fault, James. I should have been there for you but I wasn't. I took advantage of you and got us drunk off expensive scotch. I'm the one at fault."

James never thought this arrogant, egomaniac athlete would have the guts to take the blame especially for something he didn't do. Kendall didn't do this and James knows Kendall is just saying all of this just to make he feel better. And frankly, with the smile growing on James' face, it's working. He feels happier knowing that such a guy exist in the world.

"Kendall?" James calls, watching Kendall from the corner of his eyes.

"Yea," is the last thing he says before James swoons into, pressing his lips on Kendall's. He couldn't help himself. His arms instinctively wrap around Kendall's neck and his body slides into Kendall's lap. The kiss deepens and James pops each and every kiss with enthusiasm and bliss. This time, he's not drunk. He's not thinking that Kendall is wrong for him. And he isn't self loathing. What happened last night was magic. It wasn't supposed to happen but James isn't going to complain. He knows Kendall is right for him. Kind, caring and protective; everything James wishes for in a boyfriend. Plus, James has to admit, Kendall was good in bed. That's always a plus in his mind.

"I want you ..." He kisses Kendall's lower lip, sucking playfully on his sweet skin. "Kendall. I ..." He pecks his jaw line, pressing his body to Kendall's. "want you. You're everything I dreamt of." James presses a flutter of kisses on Kendall's lips, sinking whatever strength he has into proving to Kendall he truly wants him.

"And what about you?" Kendall says in between his kisses. "What do you think about yourself?" He feels James' nails ripping across the collar of his shirt as if James is clawing his shirt off.

"I'm just lucky to have you." James roughs the thin fabric, kissing forcefully.

"Only lucky? What else?"

"Just lucky. You are everything." James whispers, feeling Kendall pull his head back from James' flurry of pecks.

"Then I told you so."

"I know. I know you told me that you're perfect for me." James smiles, leaning forward but Kendall pushes him away from him.

"No," Kendall scowls and stands up. "I told you so. You're worthless." The word scatters James' thought. He didn't think or expect Kendall would call him that.

"What?"

"You heard me. I said you're worthless." He says in the arrogant, cocky, dominant voice James remembers from their first night.

"What the hell is that about?" James stands up to Kendall's eye level, staring at him like a kicked puppy. "You tell me you care about me one minute and now you're calling me worthless? What the hell?"

"I do care but seemingly you don't. You don't get it, James. You still think you're worthless and if I can't change your mind about it, then I am not right for you."

"What the hell? You are perfect for me. You're the only guy that stayed. I had sex and you stayed! I want you."

"And I want a sexy, confident boyfriend but apparently you don't think you are." Kendall states in a ridiculing tone, rolling his eyes. It gets James frustrated.

"Fine! I am sexy! Are you fucking happy?" James yells back, waving his hands in surrender as a joke but Kendall shakes his head.

"If that is how you feel about yourself then I'm gone." Kendall turns around and starts walking away. "And I hope you can live with yourself. It must be so much fun living with your low-level of self-esteem." He sarcastically mocks. "I bet being a worthless and ugly whore is living life big time."

"And be a cocky asshole is so much better!" James shouts, face turning beet red.

Kendall stops and turns around with a smug smirk on his lips. "At least this cocky asshole knows how to have sex. Judging by your moans last night, I must be great. You, not so much, and for the record, sex is the best thing about you and that wasn't even good." Kendall ends, walking away.

James pulls his hair, groaning loudly and kicks the wooden railing. He can't believe Kendall is such a lying douche bag and it's just because James doesn't think he is anything special. And for Kendall to bring up that line gets James' blood boiling. How dare he quote Jett, the worst douche bag ever?

"I hate you, Kendall!" James yells and walks into his house, slamming his front door.

…

"How are you always winning?" Carlos asks his boyfriend, pulling his hair with his card filled hands. Logan shrugs his shoulders, smugly admiring his stacks of fours-of-a-kind on the floor. The brunette holds four cards in his hands and for the last five rounds, he's been winning all of Carlos' cards. "There is no way you can be this good. This is only your second game. You sure you never played Go Fish before?" Carlos asks skeptically.

"Go Fish is easy," Logan scoffs, pointing to Carlos' fitted Henley shirt. He gives that victorious smirk as if he always wins and pokes the indent of Carlos' abs. "You have to take off you shirt. I win," he reminds his boyfriend. Carlos shakes his head, not happy that he agreed to a mature version of Go Fish. The first game they played was filled with Carlos correctly guessing every single one of Logan's cards. He won the match in minutes, collecting nine four-of-a-kind out of the thirteen possible. Logan was grumpy to say the least and said he will only play if Carlos takes off his clothes. Feeling cocky from the one victory, Carlos agreed that for every four-of-a-kind Logan builds, he will take off one article of clothing. Two socks, his pant and now his shirt later, Carlos is sitting with just his boxer on the cold floor, in front of his boyfriend whom is also only wearing a pair of purple boxers by choice. Carlos didn't win any yet but Logan chooses to be as naked as possible. Carlos thinks Logan hustled him into stripping but he doesn't know how Logan is doing it.

Shivering at exposing himself to the breezes of the room, Carlos wraps his arms across his chest, getting accustom to the temperature. Normally, he is used to the conditions of his house but normally, he isn't naked. "Logan, do you have any-"

"Wait Car," Logan stops him, licking his lips. Carlos looks up at his boyfriend, putting his cards face down on the carpet. Logan eyes the cards closely, crawling to Carlos' side. "I win. I want a kiss, a long kiss."

"What? I gave you a kiss two minutes ago when you took my king of spade." Carlos counters but Logan continues inching closer, hands sliding up Carlos' smooth caramel thighs with his silky fingers.

"But, I'm your boyfriend," he argues, ghosting his lips to Carlos' face, fingers locking between Carlos' fingers. "You want me to be happy, right?"

Carlos sighs, but complies, leaning back against the coffee table behind him with Logan's bare chest pressing onto his. He closes his eyes, letting Logan deepen their passionate kiss. "Logan, what did I say about tongue?" Carlos whispers with lips forced open from Logan's probing muscle.

"What? I can't hear you." Logan mumbles, sticking his tongue in further. He spins his body, turning Carlos just enough for his back to be against the table, now with Carlos pressing him against it. Sneakily, Logan holds both of Carlos' hands with one of his hand behind Carlos' back and one by one, with his free hand, flips each of Carlos' cards on the floor; a Jack, two tens and a nine.

"Logan, I said-" Carlos tries to say but the moment Carlos opens his eyes, pulling his head back, Logan lunges foreword with a hand holding the back of Carlos' head in place, sealing their lips together.

"Kiss me, Carlos! You don't love me," Logan cries, eyes watering as he peeks at the last card from Carlos' pile.

"No, I love you, Logie. One more kiss, ok?" Carlos whimpers, pressing forward but once Logan sees the last card, a two of spade, Logan pushes Carlos to the side and crawls back to his original spot on the floor.

"Geez Car! Stop kissing me so much. You're acting like a girlfriend." Logan whines and picks up his hand of cards and quickly reorganizes them to match the cards he secretly saw from Carlos' pile. Carlos confusedly eyes Logan, scratching his head.

"But you kissed me and the tongue and pulling me on you and-"

"Geez Car! It's your turn. Stop being a girl and play your turn," Logan commands, hiding his smiling face behind his cards. Carlos still doesn't understand what's going on with his temperamental boyfriend.

"Ok Logie," he sighs and wipes his redden lips, checking his cards. He notices that the tips of the same corner on every card are bent when they weren't before. Maybe he sat on them when they were kissing, Carlos thinks. "Do you have a Jack?"

"No, go fish," Logan snickers. Carlos groans, picking up a card from the deck.

"Your turn, Logan," Carlos says, organizing his full hand of cards. He looks at his empty pile, comparing it to Logan's four stacks of matching sets. One more four of a kind and Logan is going to have a naked Latino in front of him. Carlos hopes Logan doesn't win.

"Do you have a two?" Logan asks with his poker face, biting his lower lip to hold back his giggles. Carlos does have one. Logan remembers peeking at it.

"No. Go fish," Carlos lies, smiling through his own poker face.

"What! You do have a two!" Logan explodes, pointing to the card in Carlos' hand. Carlos gives Logan a surprised expression, still wondering how Logan knew that the card he's pointing to is in fact a two.

"You do have a two of spade!" Logan yells, bouncing on the floor, having a tantrum. "You have to give me your two!"

"I don't have a two!" Carlos argues, scooting back as Logan advances towards him, hands reaching for Carlos' cards. "Go Fish!"

"I want my two!" Logan pounces like a cat, landing on Carlos' rugged body, grabbing for the card. "Give me the two!"

"I don't have." Carlos yells back. The two of them roll, tumbling on the white carpet, crumbling the deck of cards on the floor. Finally, in quick swoop, Logan swipes the card he was looking for from Carlos' hands. The Latino blushes, scratching his head from being exposed as a cheater. Now he has to expose something else to Logan.

"See! I win." Logan celebrates, fixing his piles of cards. He kisses the two of spades, completing his collection. He turns to face Carlos with his devious eyes and evil smirk. "You have to give me your underwear." Logan holds out a hand, waiting for Carlos to give him his final and last garment.

"Logan," Carlos coughs, covering his blush. "I'm not going to take off my underwear," he sternly declares making the brunette furrow his eyebrows angrily. "Logan, even if you win, I am not going to show you my thingie."

"Then you are a liar!" Logan huffs, crossing his arms. "You made a promise. If I win, you have to take off your clothes."

"I said that because I thought you would lose. Why would I say that if I was going to lose?" He feels like he was just hustled by his boyfriend. Logan lost terribly in the first game. How did he win this time?

"You are a cheater!"

"Logan, I am not going to give you my underwear and that's final." Carlos orders, giving him a glaring look with his eyes. Logan puffs his cheeks, digging his nails into his palm, thinking that he won therefore Carlos has to give up his boxer.

"Why won't you be naked? Is it because you'll be naked alone? I can naked too."

"No!" Carlos shouts, shaking his head.

"We can be naked together. I like to naked with you." Logan reaches for the hems of his purple boxer, pulling down.

"No!" Carlos repeats, attacking Logan's hands and keeping his undergarment up. "We are not getting naked. You can win every single game but we are never going to be naked. Well at least I won't be naked."

"But I won and you promised. Good boyfriends keep their promises." Logan pouts, staring at Carlos with his big eyes.

"Logan, come here." Carlos sighs and pulls the boy into his lap. He pushes back against the table and wraps his arms around Logan, thumbing down his naked spine. "Remember when I told you never to let anyone touch your thingie?" He asks, feeling Logan nodding his head against his chest muscles. "This is why. My thingie is special too and I can't let anyone see it or touch it, ok Logie?"

"But, I'm special." Logan counters, tracing his fingers in circles on Carlos' ridged abs. "You said I'm your good boy. Why can't I touch your thingie?"

"Because, Logie. This is too mature." Carlos whispers into his ear, kissing the rim of his lobe. Logan sighs, knowing from Carlos' sweet tone that he is doing this for his own good and he trusts Carlos' judgment more than anything. "One day ok, Logie? When you are old enough I'll let you touch it."

"You promise?" He asks in an innocent voice, laced with naivety that Carlos can't help but grin even if they are talking about male organs. "You promise to one day let me touch it?"

"Yea, I promise. One day, I will let you touch it, give it a hand..." Carlos stops himself, blushing a crimson red at his thought. He doesn't normally feel this much arousal but having Logan in his lap and talking about his penis get him worked up. But he knows better than to let his libido control his actions. "I promise," he coughs, giving Logan a definite answer.

"Thanks Car but ... I have to tell you something," Logan confesses, shying his head into Carlos' muscles again, playing with Carlos' abs with his slim fingers. "I cheated and looked at your cards." Guilt tints his dimples pink as he hides his face.

But Carlos doesn't care. He chuckles, knowing that Logan probably cheated in some way. He knows his boyfriend is smarter than what he seems, he just doesn't know how Logan did it. "You're cute, Logie."

"You're not mad?"

"No, not really but if you ever cheat again, you are going to be in deep trouble," he jokes, tickling Logan's sides. "But when did you look at my cards?"

"That's a secret." Logan winks and raises his head to Carlos' level, pressing a gentle kiss on his lip, sweet and short.

"You peeked at my card when we kissed," Carlos realizes. "You little cheater."

"You said you're not mad." The brunette pouts, looking oh so innocent with his frown and dimples pressed on his round cheeks.

"I am mad now! I kissed you and you used me with a kiss. That is bad, Logie. I don't know how I can forgive you."

"No, no. I didn't mean it," Logan cries, beaming his watery eyes at his boyfriend's. But Carlos turns his head, avoiding Logan's advances, acting coldly to his manipulative boyfriend. "Carlos, look at me." He presses his palms to Carlos' cheeks, trying to force the boy to look at him.

"No! You used me. I can't kiss you after what you did."

"No! I promise to never do that again. And no tongue, too! I'm sorry, Carlos. Please." Logan begs, caressing up and down Carlos' biceps, pleading desperately with his verge on tearing eyes.

"You promised no tongue from now on?" Carlos chuckles evilly, smirking at his confused boyfriend. Logan blinks, raising an eyebrow. "You're not only one that can trick his boyfriend," Carlos taunts and winks.

"I knew you were joking," Logan playfully laughs, hammering Carlos' chest with his fist as a joke. "I was joking too. I wanted to see if you knew."

"Oh really Logan? So you knew all along?" Logan nods. "And you promised to not use your tongue from now on, right? You knew that was going to happen right, Logie?"

"Well maybe." He adverts his eyes, the childish smile on his lips thinning out into a depressed line. "But I was joking so I can still use my tongue. Let's kiss now." He diverts the conversation, lunging at Carlos' mouth.

"Wait!" Carlos commands but Logan already attacks him, moistening the Latino's red lips with his tongue, begging for access. "No tongue," he mumbles but like all the time in the past, Logan never listens and does what he wants and right now, he wants his tongue in Carlos' mouth, fighting deep against Carlos' defenses. He sucks, popping their lips and trapping Carlos' head in place with his hands. He's not letting Carlos leave until he is fully satisfied with Carlos' kisses.

"That was fun," Logan comments as he pulls backs, panting from the hardcore making out session they just had, licking his smirking lips. The same, Carlos' chest heaves with heavy, deep breaths from Logan's forceful attacks. What they're doing are not kisses anymore. Kisses are sweet and short. No, Logan's are warfare attacking Carlos' mouth with every fiber his tongue has. There was not one spot safe in Carlos' mouth from Logan's shamelessly skillful tongue.

Sadly, with his panting and overly exhausted body, Carlos doesn't want to admit that Logan arouses and excites him.

"You like it, don't you?" Logan winks, smirking his signature side, crooks grin. He can read Carlos so well.

"No, I don't like it." Carlos lies with a slight inflection in his voice. He coughs, clearing his throat. "I mean, go put on some clothes." He changes the subject, pointing to the bedroom. Logan giggles, hopping from his lap and walks to the door.

Suddenly, the door bell rings, stopping Logan midway to the hall. "I'll get the door, Logie. Go change." The brunette does as he's told, walking to the shared room as Carlos goes to the door to greet their nightly guest.

"Sam?" He opens, seeing his sloppily dressed ex-girlfriend on his steps. She's wearing barely any clothes as if she just came from a frat party where clothing is optional.

"Carlos!" She flings herself to the host, wrapping her arms around his neck and harshly claiming his lips. Surprised and overwhelmed, Carlos tries to push her off but she knocks him into the wall, giggling at her control.

"Are you drunk?" He asks, tasting the heavy alcoholic breath entering his mouth. He continues pushing back but Samantha drunkenly attacks him. "Get off!"

"No. I came for my Minnesota boyfriend," she flirtatiously whispers, trailing her hand up Carlos' bare thigh, cupping his boxer with her slender fingers.

"Get off!" Carlos pushes, face red with anger.

"Boyfriend?" The two of them face the shocked brunette in the hallway. He looks like is about cry and Carlos knows this not what Logan should be seeing even if it is not Carlos' fault.

"No, Logan. You know I-"

"Go back home!" Sam groans, pinning herself on Carlos body. "Can't you see Carlos and I are going to have sex?"

"Sex?" Logan cries and Carlos pushes her across the room to the other side, knocking into the wall.

"No, Logan. No sex. I don't want her." Carlos runs to him but Logan slaps his hand from touching him. He lets the tears fall, staring at Carlos.

"You liar! You kissed her!" Logan throws the clothes in his hand at Carlos' face and dashes out the front door in only his boxer. He continues running even though he hears Carlos yelling for him to come back and that he didn't do it.

The pitch black night and the burning tears make it hard for Logan to see. His soft, bare feet are ripping from the rocky road. The cold brisk air causes him to shiver but he continues running as far away as he can until he collides into someone.

Laughter taunts him as his cries become louder. He tries to open his eyes but his vision is blurry. A crowd or a messy blob of black silhouettes comes to view, scaring him.

"Ew. Who is he? He's not wearing clothes." A girl shrieks, disgusted by Logan on the floor in front of her.

"He's probably a cheap whore." A thuggish man jokes in a deep voice.

"Yea, probably got kicked out for bad sex." A laughing boy ridicules, making Logan cringe with fear.

The word "sex" resonances in his head, making him cry even louder. He doesn't know who these people are but he knows they are laughing at him, making fun of him. And there is no one here to save him.

"Hey, lay off him." Logan looks up for a second, his eyes clearing to shadow of the man standing up for him. With only the shielded light of a distance lamppost, Logan can make out the man's glowing skin, beautiful brunette hair, strong muscular body rivaling James' and the manly seductive smile. Logan stops his whimper, watching what his new hero will do next.

"Come on. The boy is probably drugged up or something. Let's leave him." The girl to the man's right proposes, arms wrapped around his arm.

"No, you guys go. He's cute. I want to see what I can get out of him." He winks to his gang and everyone instantly knows what he means, that is except for Logan.

After the crowd leaves, the stranger bends down to Logan, a hand sticking out. Logan knows not to speak to a stranger or to touch one but this guy seems nice. He stood up for him. Maybe he is a good guy, a hero.

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you." The man uses a sweeter tone, hands reaching out for Logan. The brunette grabs his rough hand, letting the mysterious man put him to his feet. "See. That wasn't so bad. What's your name?"

"Logan," Logan whispers, a smile growing on his lips as the mysterious man locks fingers with him. They start walking forward in the direction Logan started in. "Where are we going?"

"To the park." Logan lights up. He loves the parks and this man is going to take him to a place he can feel safe from harm. "The park is the only place we can be alone together and no one can find us. I am going to have fun with you and no one is going to stop us." The taller brunette playfully says to Logan, poking his nose. Logan's smile widens as he misses what the man really meant or what the man's real intentions are.

"That's good. I want to be alone. Park is fun." Logan innocently replies, not wanting to think about his boyfriend. Carlos is the last person he wants to talk to and having this stranger take him to a place where no one can reaches them sounds too good to be true. "What's your name? I like you." He asks, wanting to know who his savior is.

The man smiles, knowing he is definitely going to have his fun with this cute, innocent brunette tonight. He looks up and down Logan's silky body, paying close attention to Logan's loosely hanging boxer before he speaks. "The name's Jett. And I like you too."

* * *

><p>Sorry for this chapter being bulky with both cargan and kames. I didn't want the chapter to be only 3000 words so I added the cargan part.<p>

And I wonder if anyone expected me to have Sam or Jett return to the story. ;] Next chapter dives with the "fun" Jett is going to have with Logan and back into Logan's past. I know a lot of people want to know more about Logan's past life and how his abusive parents died.

And also, just wondering. Do you still hate Kendall or think he's a bad guy?

Please review =]


	16. The White Rook

I hope everyone is ok. Hurricane Sandy hit pretty hard. That's why I couldn't update sooner. But thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. They helped me through the storm.

**Notes**: This is slightly mature(r). I didn't write excessively on what happens and what has happened. Nothing is graphic and this chapter is definitely Teen-Rated. I don't mention body parts in a literal fashion. I still call "it" a "thingie" (or "dick" in dark and comical situations).

* * *

><p><strong>The White Rook<strong>

"How much did you drink?" Jett asks, watching Logan playfully swinging their joint hands. Logan smiles, taking long strides instead of walking normally. Jett stares at him with a confused, perplexed expression on his face. He never met someone like Logan before, an eighteen year old that acts like he's five.

"I drank two cups of chocolate milk and one cup of orange juice." That's not the answer Jett's looking for.

"No. I meant did you drink patron or vodka, the drinks that make you drunk? How many beers did you drink?" Jett rephrases his question. Logan pushes his lips all to one side, rolling his head around as he thinks hard about his answer.

"What's beer?" Jett gives Logan a sick, annoyed look, wondering how an eighteen year old has no idea what alcohol is. "Does it taste like apple juice?"

"No it doesn't." Jett shakes his head. Logan giggles, brimming a smile as the park comes into view. Even during the evening the park is beautiful and peaceful. The lamps are all dimly lit, casting shadows of the leaves resting on the gently swaying branches of the rows of trees. No one is on the grassy lawn which is what Logan wanted in the first place. He rather be alone with his new friend, Jett, than with Carlos.

"Jett," Logan tugs on the brunette's hand, pouting his lips like a puppy. "My feet hurt. Let's go sit on the grass." Logan begs, showing the cuts underneath.

"Fine." He mumbles, rolling his eyes. He feels like he's being tricked or scammed by the little, high pitch man. Logan is bouncing, skipping to the middle of the plain. He makes Jett feel cautious that someone is playing a dirty prank on him with Logan.

"This is fun," Logan exclaims, plopping down on the cool ground. He hums and closes his eyes, feeling the calm breeze take over his stressful mind. Jett watches him carefully but no matter what he sees, he believes Logan might actually be the most innocent and pure person he ever met. The long breaths of the fresh air Logan inhales, the glow on Logan's dimpled face, and the way Logan sits crossed legged in only a pair of boxer on the green field all make Jett think that Logan is a naïve, sweet, untouched boy with the body of a teenager.

_This is perfect,_ Jett thinks, smiling deviously. He is going to have his way with the boy's body and there is no one here to stop him from his fun.

"So, Logan. Tell me about yourself." Jett drops his annoyed tone, asking in a sweeter, friendly voice. Logan doesn't notices the change in his demeanor, naïvely accepting Jett's friendship.

"What do you want to know?"

"I want to know what you do for fun." Jett tickles Logan's sides, making him squirm and giggle. Logan laughs, rolling on grass.

"Stop it, Jett," Logan begs in his fits, curling in a ball. "I'm ticklish."

Jett wickedly chuckles, happy to learn that one of Logan's quirks is one of his fetish. He loves having control over his victims. "No, I like to tickle." He fiercely continues, slowly sliding one of his hands up Logan's thigh just an inch through the thin boxer.

"No! Bad Jett!" Logan rolls away, wagging a finger at him. Jett fakes a pout, glad that there is some fight in the boy. He wouldn't want his prize to be easily won. "No touching!"

"Aw. Come on, Logan. Have some fun. We are friends right?" Jett whimpers, crawling to his side. Placing a hand on Logan's sensitive thigh again, Jett gradually leans his lips to Logan's ear. "I can make you happy."

"You want to make me happy?" Logan surprisingly jumps into Jett, knocking him on his back. Logan lies on top of him, wrapping his arms around. "Yay! Jett is a good friend. I like you. You're better than …" he mumbles his ex-boyfriend's name.

"Better than what?" Jett asks, pushing himself up. He pulls Logan into his lap, fondling his nose into his neck. "Who is this mean person that bothered my Logan?"

Logan smiles as Jett's breath frost his naked collarbone. He doesn't notices Jett tracing both hands around the rim of Logan's boxer, ghosting his fingers on Logan's hip bone. "Carlos. He's a mean boyfriend. I don't love him anymore."

"Oh, a boyfriend? Tell me about him."

"I don't want to." Logan huffs and detaches himself from Jett's insistent fingers, folding his arms across his chest. Jett silently groans. "I hate him. He's mean."

"But talking will make you feel better." Jett adds, caressing a hand up Logan's bare chest. Logan pushes the hand away. "Come on, Logan. I'm your friend. I want you to be happy." Jett reminds, holding Logan in his lap.

"Ok, fine." Logan sighs and Jett takes the change to suck on Logan's neck. Logan doesn't think anything of it, assuming friends do this to each other for comfort like how a hhowls comforting. "I hate my boyfriend. His name is Carlos. I thought he loves me but he has a girlfriend."

"A girlfriend? That's not nice." Jett agrees, placing a kiss on Logan's shoulder. The shorter brunette confusedly looks at Jett for the suggestive gesture. "Don't worry Logan. That was to show I am here for you." Jett answers as if reading his mind, giving the shoulder another quick peck.

"Carlos has a girlfriend. I hate her too! He said he will be only my boyfriend but he lied. He kissed her. I hate him. Carlos is not nice!" he huffs sharply after each short, punctured sentence.

"Hey, hey, Logan." Jett comforts him, massaging Logan's tense back. He trails his digits over the collarbone and circles the triangular shoulder blades. The boy melts in his hands, loving Jett's gentle touches. "Carlos is not nice. You need a better boyfriend."

"A better boyfriend?"

"Right, a better boyfriend." Jett repeats, caressing his lower back. Soft moans erupts from Logan's lips.

"But no one is better than Carlos," Logan sighs, frowning, looking as if he's going to start crying again.

"There is one guy better than Carlos." Jett disagrees, turning Logan around to face him.

"Who?"

"Me." Jett takes the cue and leans forward. Expecting to kiss Logan's lips, he instead meets Logan's right dimple. "What's wrong?"

"I can't," he whispers, turning his head down, staring at the blades of grass between Jett's folded legs. "Carlos said I can't kiss anyone."

"But he kissed his girlfriend," The buff brunette counters, enveloping his arms around Logan's slim waist but Logan tries to push away.

"Stop it, Jett," Logan whines, pushing Jett's chest to create space but Jett adamantly fights. "Jett, stop it. Carlos doesn't want me to cheat on him."

"But he cheated on you. Carlos doesn't love you and you hate Carlos. Come on, Logan. I can make you happy," he reiterates but Logan doesn't trust his fake, sugar-coated words. He looks into Jett's eyes and feels maybe Jett is not a good guy after all.

"It's ok, Jett. Carlos makes me happy," Logan lies. In one final thrust, Logan breaks free from Jett's hold and flies off of his lap.

"Don't lie to me." The strong, muscular man yells, forcefully grabbing Logan's wrist, scaring him. "Carlos has a girlfriend. He hates you. I can give you what Carlos can't."

"No thank you," Logan politely declines, trying hard to hide his fear. Staring at Jett's face, Logan feels a wave of nervousness taking over his body. Jett's monstrous grip, his cold-hearted eyes and his hungry teeth cast a cold sweat on Logan's trembling body. "Please let go." He begs.

"No! I can make you happy." He angrily interjects, tugging Logan's arm. "We are going to have sex."

"SEX!" Logan shrieks, shaking his head. "No!"

"I'm going to fuck you until you cry!"

"No! No! Carlos said no sex!" Logan cries, trying to peel Jett's fingers off of his skinny wrist.

"Maybe that's why Carlos hates you. Sex is what boyfriends do." Jett laughs, tugging so hard that Logan falls back into his chest.

"No! Carlos loves me. He said no sex!" Logan cries.

"Geez! You're a brat. No wonder Carlos had sex with a girl. You're no fun to him." Jett taunts. The kindness Logan thought Jett had is gone and all that's left is a monster, tightly holding his wrist. "Carlos hates you!"

"No! Carlos loves me! CARLOS!" Logan cries for help, frantically looking around for his savior. "CARLOS!"

"No one is going to save you now," Jett maliciously laughs, shoving Logan to the floor, hovering over him. Grinning at his dominance, Jett's once again crouches down, closing his eyes to kiss his victim.

"NO!" Logan picks up his legs and thrusts a kick at Jett's chest, knocking the air out and him flying off of Logan. Quickly, Logan jets to his feet and dashes away. "Carlos! Help me! Carlos!"

"Fucking slut!" Jett curses, gunning after him. "Carlos is not going to save you. No one is going to save a brat like you." Jett comments, picking up on the boy. With the cuts on Logan's feet from running on the concrete sidewalk, he wobbles, making every step more painful than the last. "You won't get away!"

"Carlos!" He screams once more, looking for anyone in the park but like Jett said before, no one is here. He's alone with a monster. "Car-" He shouts but Jett muffles his mouth with his huge hands.

"Shut up, brat!" Jett, with his full force and both hands, throws Logan to the floor rolling until he's dizzy and disoriented. Standing over him, Jett removes his belt and kneels down to Logan's level. Turning the dazed boy on his belly, he rises the folded belt high in the air. "This is for kicking me!"

"OW!" Logan arches his back, toes digging into the balls of his bloody feet, eyes watery and bugging out from the sheer pain. "OW!" He cries again, feeling the harsh whips of Jett's belt on his boxer covered cheeks.

"You want more, brat? This is what you get for disobeying me." He spanks Logan a few more times, asserting his control.

"No, please daddy." Logan cries, repressed memories flowing back to him. "Please daddy. I'll be good. I'll be good."

"Aw, you called me daddy. That's a good boy." Jett babies him, smacking his butt with hand, not caring or noticing Logan wincing at the throbbing pain. "Who's your daddy?"

"You're my daddy. I'll be good. Play with me, daddy." Logan recites, remembering how his father whipped him until he bleed.

"That's a good boy. Daddy will make you happy." Jett says in a childish, mocking tone as he grabs one of Logan's ankles and drags him to a nearby bench.

"I'm happy, daddy. I'm happy," he obediently repeats, soullessly letting Jett have his control. His body limps on the floor as Jett ties Logan's wrists together to a leg of the wooden bench with his belt. "Carlos," He faintly whispers with his coarse voice, hoping, wishing for his hero to come save him.

"What! What did I say about him?" Jett slaps across his face twice, one for each cheek. They turn blood-red, strained with a fresh coat of tears with an imprint of Jett's hand. "Carlos doesn't love you. You're mine now. Got it?"

Logan nods his head hesitantly, whimpering at the slightly touch or stroke of Jett's fingers. He feels powerless, dirty by this stranger's hands but he knows if he screams again, Jett will hurt him.

"Actually, Logan," Jett playfully roughs Logan's sweaty hair, having a dangerous grin on his face. "Call for your boyfriend. It's fun watching you cry."

Logan shakes his head, biting his mouth shut. Jett growls and grabs his forehead, slamming it on the grassy floor.

"I said cry for him!"

"Carlos," Logan stutters through his tears. Jett punches his stomach, causing him to curl up. "Carlos. Save me." His cries become weak whispers, the hope in his word dies out. He knows Carlos isn't coming, no one is.

"I love when you scream. It makes this fun." Jett laughs, watching Logan's body tremble under him. With both of his hands on the hem of Logan's boxer, he peels the one article off of his body, staring at the glory he won. "Wow." He marvels. "Even for a brat, you have a big dick."

"Please don't do this," Logan pleads, feeling uncomfortable and exposed. He didn't imagine being naked would be this painful, this disgusting but for the most part, he only wants to be naked with Carlos. "Please Dad."

"Aw. That's sweet," Jett coos, giving Logan's inner thigh a slap. He chuckles. "You're forgetting you're mine now. I own you. I can do whatever I want." Jett declares, brushing his hand up Logan's frozen thigh, ghosting his privates.

"Don't," Logan mouths but no word comes out of his bleeding lips. "Carlos said my thingie is special," he tries to say but it comes out as a broken croak.

"I got to say." Jett lifts both of his victim's legs into the air, peeking at his embarrassed, sweaty body. "I can tell you're going to be fun. Now say it." Jett throws the limbs back on the ground harshly. "Who's going to save you?"

"Carlos," he answers distressingly.

"Wrong!" Jett laughs, turning Logan onto his side and spanks him twice. "Haha! Again! Who's going to save you?"

"Carlos." He monotoniously repeats.

"Wrong again!" He flips Logan to his back and grabs his thingie. Logan winces, digging his nails into his hands. He's not crying because of the pain and the embarrassment of someone violating him. It's because a stranger is touching what Carlos said is special, something Logan only wants Carlos to touch. "Oh, this is too much fun. One more time. Who's going to save you?" Jett hunches closer to Logan's face, his ear just above him. Logan drops his head to the side and his vision blurs as he starts to faint. Everything turns black and a mysterious but familiar man appears right before closing his eyes. He whispers a name.

"Dark?"

...

_"I'll be good, daddy," Logan cries, curling into a ball as his father whips him with a leather belt. He trembles, bloody hands handcuffed to a cold metal pole of his dimly lit basement. His naked body is a work of dark cuts, bruises and handprints. "Please daddy." He begs him to stop, but his father has other plans. _

_"Not until you understand." He kneels down, hand grasping his son's chin, staring into his eyes. He flicks his dimple, laughing at his chained boy. "You have a very important job today, your first customer and I don't want you to screw it up. Got it?" _

_Logan nods his head, holding his sobs in by biting his lips shut. The last time he cried, his father punished him by throwing him against the rough brick wall. Crying is unappealing and people won't pay a crybaby. So Logan practiced holding in his noise whenever his parents are around, only crying alone in the corner of his small closet. _

_"Good. What do you want to do?" The tall, broad man asks, holding a knife high up in the air. _

_"Anything, daddy. Play with me, daddy." Logan recites verbatim the script his abusive father taught him. "I like to play. Let's play. Play with me, daddy."_

_"That's a good boy." Mr. Mitchell complements, playfully smacking his cheek with the weapon. "You're going to make us a lot of money. Do whatever the man tells you. If he is not happy then I am not happy and you want me to be happy, right?" He raises the sharp blade in the air, conditioning his son. _

_"Yes, daddy." He answers through his dry throat. _

_"Good." The father turns to the black door and shouts for his wife. "Honey! Bring him in! He's ready." _

_Three locks click and bright lights shine into the dungeon of a basement. In comes a happy, brown hair women in a floral sundress and a tall muscular, handsome man in a graphic t-shirt and dark washed jeans. "Right here, sweetie." She calls cloyingly. No one would picture this happy suburban woman wearing an expensive dress decorate with sunflowers to be selling her son's body but no one knew the Mitchell family has a dungeon either. _

_"Oh, you must be the man that called earlier. Well, we guarantee you will have the best time with Logan here." He showcases his son, kicking his sides with his foot. "You will be his first client and believe me, you will have the best experience. He hasn't been fed all day so he is extremely tight down there, just the way a health man like you would want. And a virgin too. Just the way a young man wants in a slave." _

_"Umm ..." The young man studies Logan carefully. When he was informed that his night of fun was a young, untouched virgin as pure as a newborn and is willing to engage in anything, he didn't expect the ad to be this literal. "He's the one I paid for?" _

_"Of course. Logan's the best you'll ever find. He will do anything and he won't say a word. Isn't that right, Logan?" Mr. Mitchell snaps at his broken son. Logan nods, curling his body as much as possible, embarrassed by the crowd talking and staring at him as if he's an object._

_"He is very obedient." Mrs. Mitchell adds, walking to the wooden table of metal chains and whips. "We raised him right and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Try him out for fun and if he's not to your liking, well ..." She cracks the whip in the air and Logan winces, the harsh noises scaring him. The other man jerks back a bit, also scared of what the parents would to their son or worst, what they will do to him. "If he's not good, we can fix that." She crackles, snarling with her ruby-red painted lips. _

_"Well, we should let the boys have their fun." The father claps his hands and points to the door. "We know how boys are boys so feel free to play with any toy you want. Logan likes to play rough and he will never say anything. I trained him to not talk so you can have your fun without hearing his annoying and bitchy voice. Have fun, boys." _

_"And remember to teach him a lesson," the mother adds, handing him the whip. "Bye boys." The parents exit the room, closing the door behind. _

_The young man walks to Logan noticing cuts and patchworks of bruises littering the virgin's body. He wasn't expecting this or that the nice couple on the ad to harbor a cruelly abused son. _

_"Hey, Logan right?" He asks but to the father's orders, Logan doesn't speak or turns his head to look at him. "Hey, Logan." He calls again but the beaten boy doesn't look up. "I'm not going to hurt you ok, I promise." _

_Logan doesn't believe him or he doesn't have the energy to believe him. The day without food and the pain from his daily whipping emptied his energy, making him feel faint and weak. _

_"Come on," The man takes the initiative and unlocks the handcuffs with a key he found on the table. He carries the limp body to the sink connected to the basement boiler in the corner. "Let's get you cleaned up." _

_Logan feels the warm water stinging his fresh and old cuts. He bites his lips, making sure not to disobey his father's commands. _

_"Sorry Logan but I have to get this cleaned. You can cry if you want to. Crying is not bad." He says but Logan keeps his mouth shut, showing the pain through his eyes. Tears flow freely after the gentleman allowed him, mixing with the blood on his chest, staining the dirty cement floor a disgusting hue. _

_The older man sighs tiredly, feeling sorry for the guy. He wanted to have sex, to forget about his problems and his life for the night. Logan wasn't the ideal guy he expected. Virgin was what he wanted, not an abused boy._

_"There, you're all cleaned up. That wasn't so bad, right?" He laughs, rinsing the rag he used in a sink of cold water. _

_"Thank you." _

_He turns around, shocked and surprised at hearing Logan's voice. It's sweet and innocent. He can't believe someone so pure has parents so evil. Logan doesn't deserve this or what he's forced to do._

_"No problem, Logan." He wraps an arm under the brunette, making sure to avoid the cleaned cuts and coddles him, leaning on the wall. He thumbs down Logan's spine gingerly, cuddling him in his lap as he rocks gently back and forth. "I'm sorry, Logan." He sighs again, squeezing the brunette in his hold. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve this. You're a good kid. You didn't do anything wrong to deserve them." _

_Logan smiles, resting his tired head on the man's graphic t-shirt covered chest. He doesn't know what is happening or what was supposed to happen but he feels like he can trust this man. And his chest is warm. The brunette can't explain it but he likes being in his arms and lap. He likes how comforting it is to be curled up, bare chest against someone; he can get use to this. _

_"You're really cute." The man smiles, watching Logan rub his dimples against his pectoral muscles, feeling Logan concentrating on his nipple. It tickles him; makes him laugh. "You really enjoy cuddling and my pecs, don't you." Logan nods and smiles up at him. _

_From that, the young man knows he's not here for sex. Logan is too innocent for that and just having him in his arms is good enough. _

_"Hey, Logan?" The boy looks up. "Do you mind listening to me?" He asks. If he's not going to have sex to forget, maybe he can talk to someone and feel better. "I'm a bad person. I'm part of a bad gang in the city. We fight and rob people. We do bad things and we just are terrible. We beat people up just so everyone knows that we are the best and strongest. And ..." He starts chuckling, shaking his head at his memories. "And there was this one guy I was in love. He is a beautiful, tall, tan model with brown hair and rich hazel eyes. He was the best I ever had. We went to the beach a lot together to build sand castles and I would come to his house and lay on the couch with him. We had fun. He was fun." He pauses, taking a deep breath. "He was the one guy I really loved." He stops stroking Logan's back, recalling the last time he was with him, the night he ran away after having sex. _

_"What happened?" Logan asks, seemingly interested in his story. The young man grins contently._

_"I ran away. My boss said if I'm with someone then he will do something to him. So that night after giving him everything I had and he fell asleep, I ran away." He simply answers, remembering him waited for his boyfriend to fall asleep before he climbed out the window and out of his life. "I left him. I am a bad person and I don't want him to be a part of me. He doesn't deserve to be part of a gang like you don't deserve this life." _

_"You're nice." The shy boy opens up, giving him a hug. He closes his eyes, affectionately caressing his cheeks against the man's chest. _

_"I'm not," he sighs, embracing Logan tighter in his arms. "If I was nice, I wouldn't lie to him. I told him nothing's wrong and 'I'll never leave you' but everything is wrong and I ran. He's special and I left him. He probably hates him and will never forgive me. I will never forget what I did to him, to my one and only, beautiful Jay." _

_"You're nice." Logan repeats, looking up with his doe brown eyes. He doesn't say much but each word and sound he makes are sweet and innocent. "You're nice." _

_"Thanks Logan." He tightens his hold, strumming the back of his shaved neck. "For being a friend." _

_"Frrr?" Logan tries to repeat the man's words. _

_"Friend, someone you can trust and talk to. Everyone needs a friend." He explains. _

_"Friend." Logan yawns, accepting his kindness warmly with a smile. _

_"Where do you sleep?" Logan points to the distant wooden closet across the room. Slowly, the strong man lifts Logan up and places him on the bottom shelf where Logan has enough room to curl into a ball and sleep. "Thank you for listening, Logan. You are a good friend. Go to sleep and I'll take care of everything." He bends down and gives Logan a simple, sweet kiss on the cheek. _

_Logan turns his head, his half closed eyes following the man. "What's your name?" Logan finally asks, watching him grab the sharpest knife on the table. _

_"Da ..." Logan hears, his fatigue starting to overtake his body as he begins to faint. _

_"Dark?" _

_"No. It's Da ..." Again, the voice trails and Logan couldn't get the full name. _

_"Dark?" _

_The man chuckles and hides the blade in the back belt loop of his jeans. "You can call me that for now. We'll work on it after I take care of a couple of things. I'll see you outside. Go to sleep for now, Logan." _

_And he does that, sleep dominating his tired body. He drifts off, his body too weak to even react to the sudden yells of three voices and noises of glass breaking, doors ripping off the walls and bodies rolling down the stairs. Unaffected by the terrors outside his closed closet door, he falls asleep to the name of his first friend, his first hero, Dark._

_..._

_Slam_! With his water filled eyes closed, Logan hears Jett's body bashed against the bench.

"What the fuck!" Jett screams, holding his jaw and staring at the one guy that keeps interfering with his plans. "Why are you following me?" He growls, staring up at his former friend, Kendall.

"Dark?" Logan whispers, listening to the rustles of the two men fighting. He doesn't know who the other guy is but he's scared now that he's with another stranger and Jett.

"Because you don't learn to stop being a douche." Kendall yells, throwing a punch at his rib. Jett doubles over and crawls away but Kendall grabs the hems of his loose jean and flips the man over to stare into his fury filled eyes. "I hate assholes like you." The athlete spats, kicking Jett.

"Stop, I promise I'll stop," Jett begs, covering his face with his arms. "I won't do it again. Stop kicking me!"

"I doubt it," Kendall scoffs, not believing him. Jett did it twice now and he isn't the type of person who believes in giving rapist a third chance. But he also isn't the type of person to kill someone. "Get out! Run!"

Jett takes the command and runs, doing whatever he can to get away as far as possible from Kendall.

"And if I ever see you near my James again, I'll kill you!" Kendall threatens. He knows he's not in a perfect relationship with James but he still doesn't want a jerk like Jett to hurt him.

Finally, when Jett is completely out of sight, Kendall bends down and unties the belt binding Logan's red wrists. "Hey, I know you."

"Dark?" Logan asks, opening his eyes. He sees Kendall's rich golden hair and panics that it's not his friend. "Go away!" He yells and tries to dash away but the cuts on his feet burn, causing him to fall and roll.

"Stop it, Logan. You're going to hurt yourself." Kendall rushes to him and holds him in place, both hands pressing on Logan's arms. "I'm James' friend."

"Frrr-friend?" Logan stops thrashing, studying Kendall. He remembers seeing him once. He remembers James walking out of Carlos' house and this man following him. He doesn't know who Kendall is but he hopes James doesn't have deadly friends.

"Yea, I'm Kendall. I'm not going to hurt you. I can take you back to Carlos." Kendall offers but Logan cries and shakes his head. "Why not? You love him, right?"

"No! Carlos did not save me. I hate Carlos!" Logan whimpers. Kendall sighs. He doesn't like these situations. He's not good at comforting crying people. He rather tell them to man up or get real but he knows Logan is not a normal person.

"Then, I'll take you to James. You like James?" Kendall offers and Logan nods, his crying gradually gets softer. "Ok then, here." Kendall hands Logan the pair of boxers he assumes belongs to him.

"Thanks." Logan whispers, slipping them on.

"And here." Kendall removes his jacket and gives it to Logan. "I am not going to let you catch a cold."

"What's your name?" The brunette asks, wrapping the medium size jacket on his small body.

"Kendall. Let's go," Kendall turns around, his back pointing to Logan. "Get on. I'm not letting you walk with cuts on your feet. So hop on."

He bounces on Kendall's back, tucking his arms around the athlete's neck. "Thanks Kendall. James is lucky to have a boyfriend like you."

"Yea about that. Let's not talk about it. James and I are not in a good place yet. I'm just going to take you to him, ok?"

"Ok." Logan lays his tired head on Kendall's shoulder, closing his eyes. He's exhausted from the nightmare of the evening and is glad someone saved him. He's lucky to have Kendall save him. "Thanks Kendall."

"Any time Logan."

* * *

><p>The flashback wasn't suppose to happen but I thought I haven't dived enough into Logan's past and the events of how Logan's parents died. This probably will add a couple of chapters towards the end (or solidify a sequel) but it should be fun :). I wonder who is the guy that saved Logan and this "Jay" in his story ;). [hint: sandcastles ;)]<p>

And I hope this shows why Logan likes to cuddle, Carlos' chest, why he jumped into Carlos' body in the first chapter and his first word was friend.

Thanks for reading and please review :).


	17. Other Side of a Mirror

So sorry that this is so late. I really wanted to update a long time (two months) ago but school is overwhelming. But I'm here now and I will try to update regularly on my stories.

* * *

><p>*I believe I should recap because it has been three months-ish since my last chapter.<p>

James and Kendall had a fight because Kendall tried to convince James that he is special and worth something but James doesn't see it. Therefore, Kendall left James, saying he can't be James' boyfriend if James can't see how great he is.

Sam kissed Carlos and Logan saw. He ran away and into Jett, who tried to rape him in the park. Kendall rescued him in time before Jett actually did anything serious and Kendall is now taking him to James because Logan hates Carlos for kissing Sam, even through she forced him.

* * *

><p><strong>Other Side of a Mirror<strong>

"Hey, Kendall?" Logan whispers into Kendall's ear as the athlete carries him on his back. It's been a couple of blocks and Logan becomes more familiar with the path to James' house. "You're kind of nice."

"Thanks, I guess." Kendall bounces the boy, feeling Logan slipping from his body. He grabs both of Logan's hands around his neck, holding tight with one of his. "Logan, stay awake. You don't want to fall off." Kendall warns. He notices after picking up the boy, Logan's tired, probably still traumatized by that jerk, Jett. "Talk to me, Logan." Kendall sighs. He hates having meaningless conversations for the sake of staying awake but if talking keeps Logan conscious then he figures he has to do it. "Say something, Logan."

"What do you want to talk about?" Logan yawns, his folded legs loosening around Kendall's waist.

"Anything." Kendall grunts, having to stop to bounce Logan back into a comfortable position, latching one of Logan's thigh with his other free hand. He's getting irritated, not happy of his good deed. "Work with me, Logan. You have to stay awake for this to be easy." He wouldn't complain if Logan was smaller and easier to carry but being a full size eighteen year old, carrying the man-child is a struggle.

"I'm scared." Logan whispers, making Kendall groan. The blonde isn't one that likes talking about one's feeling; probably that's the reason why he doesn't like being around kids. "Do you think Jett will come back?" Logan asks, fearfully clutching Kendall's neck.

"He can't." Kendall asserts, picking up speed. With Logan strongly clinging onto him, he briskly walks faster. "As long I'm here, Jett can't touch you."

"But Jett almost had sex with me. I don't want sex." Logan cries his rough sobs into Kendall's ear.

"Then don't have sex." Kendall easily suggests. "As long as I'm here, I won't let Jett lay a finger on you. You won't have to worry about Jett and if Carlos makes you then tell him no. Carlos will understand. And besides, Carlos doesn't seem like the guy that will have sexual urges."

"No! Carlos is bad! Carlos is having sex right now." Logan whimpers, his tears falling on Kendall's soft tee covered shoulder. Kendall isn't ready for being a parent or taking care of people with the mentality of a kid. He does wonder if what Logan's saying is true. Carlos doesn't seem like the type to cheat. "He left me."

"Then you have me and James, ok?" Kendall tries to control his tone. He really wants to scream at Logan to get real and stop whining like how he wants to yell at James to stop being whiny. But the difference is James is a grown man and Logan isn't. He doesn't want to yell and shock the already emotional boy. "As long as you have me and James, you will never have to deal with jerks like Jett-"

"Or Carlos?" Logan interjects and Kendall wonders what happened between the two of them. He can't imagine Carlos doing anything to hurt Logan. From what Kendall sees, Carlos isn't the type of unfaithful guys who hurts the people he loves. "Will you protect me from Carlos?"

"Sure, Logan. I won't let him hurt you."

"And Jamie, too? Will he help me?" Logan hopefully asks. Kendall sighs and shakes his head. He doesn't like hearing the brunette's name pop up nonchalantly.

"Yes, James and I will protect you from Carlos."

"Thanks Kendall. You're my hero." Logan rustles his dimple against Kendall's cheek. This time, Kendall unknowingly blushes. He doesn't usually blush. He doesn't have a soft side but with Logan calling him a hero in a high pitch voice, his soft dimple caressing his, he can't help but feel sympathetic for the lad. It kind of reminds him when James called him that word.

"No problem, Logan. Glad to save you." Kendall mousily replies, bouncing Logan with a content spring in his step.

"I like you. I see why James loves you." Logan states, making Kendall jerk back, the gleeful strut becoming a slow trek. "You must be James' hero too."

"Actually Logan, James and I are not together, together." Kendall corrects him. Logan picks up his head and stares puzzled at the back of Kendall's head.

"What do you mean? You and James are together. That's why you are James' boyfriend."

"It's complicated, Logan. You wouldn't understand what is going on with James." Kendall tries to diverge from the question but he hears the tiny sniffles coming from behind him. "Are you crying again?"

"No," Logan lies, shaking the tears away. "I'm not crying."

"Look, Logan. This is an adult problem and you don't understand adult things." Kendall asserts, his harsh tone making Logan cry a bit louder. "Stop crying. Be a big boy. Only baby cries."

"But, I can't. James and you are perfect for each other." He states with his broken voice.

"How can you tell? You never saw us together." Kendall reasons, seeing James' house coming into view. Thank god, he doesn't have to be with Logan and his questions anymore. He liked the little cheek rubbing but crying Logan is too much work. This is why he doesn't like working with kid. They are too much of a hassle for him to handle.

"But you and James are the same height." Logan analyzes but it doesn't make any sense. Kendall doesn't base his boyfriend on height. He does base it on how sexy the guy is; that's what attracted him to James in the first place but there is a lot more to a relationship than looks. He wonders if that is why Logan is in love with Carlos, for his height and pecs.

"Logan. That is not-"

"And he said it's not your fault."

"Wait, what?" Kendall abruptly stops, half a block from James' front door. He didn't hear that James defend him about what happened yesterday. In the afternoon, to Kendall, it sounded like James blamed Kendall for everything. This doesn't sound right to the blonde. "What did James say? And how did you know?"

Logan lays his head back on the empty shoulder, feeling that Kendall isn't going to move anytime soon. "I don't know for sure but Carlos was yelling. He said mean things about you. Carlos said Kendall is bad. He said something like Kendall is a meanie. I don't think so. Carlos is a meanie. I hate him."

"No!" Kendall gets impatient, snapping at the boy. "What did James say about me?"

"He said it's not your fault." Logan repeats, cringing at Kendall's harsh tone but the moment Logan speaks, he feeling the tension around Kendall dissipating as if Kendall is a lot calmer.

"He said that?" Kendall asks and Logan nods. "What else? Did James say anything else?"

"I don't know." Logan tries to remember but he only heard a bit of Carlos and James' conversation while he was putting on clothes and hiding from Carlos' rage. "I think James said something about being in love with someone. Carlos said he loves James but James said he wanted someone more. I think James was talking about you." Logan says, recalling as much of his memory as he can. He doesn't remember anything else and what he does remember, he doesn't know if he can trust it. It was a tense moment.

"Thanks Logan. I needed to hear that." Kendall starts walking again.

"Sure Kendall. Does that mean you love James?" Logan pries, playing with his thumbs on Kendall's shirt.

"I am in love him." Kendall admits but being in love with the model doesn't solve their problem. Kendall wants James to learn how special he really is and believe in himself. That's all Kendall really wants. "James is a special guy."

"He is because he has you."

"No! Don't say that to James, ok?" Kendall yells, confusing the boy on his back. "If you see James, don't tell him that. James is special with or without me and I want him to know that. He doesn't know what makes him beautiful."

Logan chuckles. Kendall knows Logan doesn't really understand the situation. He's too innocent to understand. But sometime, an innocent mind is all Kendall needs to listen to. "James is special but he is lucky to have you."

Kendall laughs, agreeing with the young brunette. "I guess you can say that."

"That means you and James are boyfriends? Please? James is too pretty to not have a boyfriend and you're a hero. You have to have a boyfriend."

Kendall laughs louder, agreeing with Logan once again. "I do agree that James is too pretty to be single."

"So you're going to ask James to be your boyfriend? Please. And when you ask, you have to kiss him. It's the rule. You have to kiss if you want to have a boyfriend." Logan recites, getting involved with Kendall's business.

"I might." Kendall jokes, making Logan groan angrily. "I have a plan to make James my boyfriend but only if you help."

"I can help?" Logan shrieks a little too high-pitched in Kendall's ear. "I want to help! Please." He begs.

"If you want to help then get James to think he is special. Can you do that?" Kendall asks him, letting go of Logan from his back and onto the top step of James' porch.

"I can do that." Logan nods, sitting cross-legged as Kendall walks to the door and rings the doorbell.

"And remember Logan, don't tell James we talked, ok?" Logan zips his lips and nods his head, trying to hide the grin on his face.

"Good," Kendall winks and rings the bell again, faintly hearing James yelling "coming" on the other side. He presses the button again to annoy James for fun.

"COMING!" James yells, unlocking the door and pulling inward. "What the!" James grimaces, growling angrily. "What are you doing here?"

"Something happened in the park."

"Good for it! Good night!" James cuts him off and slams the door but Kendall catches, jamming his shoe at the corner before James can close him off. James growls again, thinning his eyes into a flat beam. "I said get out, Knight."

"I found Logan in the park."

"Good for you. Get a cookie from Carlos!"

"There's a problem. Logan-"

"I HATE CARLOS!" Logan huffs. Kendall shrugs his shoulders, having Logan explain the problem before he can. James pinches his forehead, feeling as if a headache is going to hit him.

"I don't care. Logan is your problem. I don't want anything to do with you or Logan right now." James kicks the foot out of the way and prepares to close.

"James, you have to take Logan. Logan won't go back to Carlos and I can't leave him on the street." Kendall argues but the model acts like he is a man of stone, cold-hearted and filled with hate.

"I don't care. Logan ran off before. He can survive on his own." James ends, shutting the door in Kendall's face.

"He was raped!" Kendall finally yells, hoping that will change James' mind and it does.

"What?" The door opens and James gives him a softer stare, feeling a bit sorry and skeptical. "Logan got what?"

Kendall turns his head, stealing a peek at Logan before looking back at James. "Logan was naked in the park, hands tied to a bench with Jett hovering over him."

"Jett? Oh my god." James gasps, gritting his teeth. "Is he ok? Is he hurt? Did Jett you know, it him?"

"No, I punched Jett off before he can do it to him. But Jett did hurt him, Logan's feet are cut up and his body is bruised." Kendall explains. James looks as if he's going to cry, feeling sympathy, relating to the situation. After what Jett did to him, he wouldn't want Jett to touch anyone. "So can he come in?" Kendall asks, picking Logan up gingerly in his arms.

"Of course he can." James nod. "But you-"

"Great, I'll lay Logan on the living room couch." Kendall quickly adds, worming around the host and dashing to the room.

Annoyed, James bites his lower lip, not wanting to invite the guy that insulted him into his home. "You can't stay." James whispers, locking the door and stomping into the kitchen to make Logan a hot chocolate.

"Thanks Jamie." Logan happily grabs the warm cup from his hands. He takes a sip of the drink steaming with whipped cream. James raises his eyebrow suspiciously. With his happy tone, James doubts that Logan was a raped victim.

"No problem, Logan. Kendall, can I talk to you?" James grabs his collar and drags him to the hallway without the guy's consent. Spinning Kendall around, James points to Logan enjoying his mug with his fingers wrapped all the way around the warm mug. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" James whispers quietly so only Kendall can hear him.

"What are you talking about? And I was about to put some bandages on his cuts." Kendall shows James the half ripped covers. James isn't amused, slapping the medicated tapes out of the athlete's hand. Kendall scrunches his bottled green eyes at James' death gaze. "What the hell is that for?"

"You freaking liar! Logan didn't get raped!" James assumes, still pointing at the boy, hugging the mug with both hands.

"What the fuck? Are you blind? He has bruises all over his body and cuts on his feet. You think Logan did that to himself?" Kendall rationalizes, tilting his head to the side, peeking at the engrossed boy, playing with the whipped cream on his nose with his tongue.

"You think I'm blind, don't you? First you say I can't see that I'm special and now you think I can't see you planning something with Logan." James mocks, waving his hands in the air as if he surrenders.

"Then what do you think happened to Logan? How did he get those scars and cuts?" Kendall questions.

"Not from a rape! I know what it feels like to have sex and then get left on the side. I know how horrible it is to know my body is for sex and nothing else. I know how empty it feels when someone controls you and throws you away." James shouts into the blonde's face, panting deep breaths. "Logan is not feeling any of that. He is a not a rape victim. He is too happy to be a victim."

Kendall blankly stares at him, waiting to see if James has anything else on his chest. After that monologue, Kendall feels the tension climbing steeply but Kendall doesn't take James' anger seriously. "Wait a second. Are we still talking about Logan or are we talking about you and your problems because you switched a lot and I can't keep up."

"AH!" James pulls his hair, spinning on the heels of his feet as he dashes up to the seated boy. "Logan, get up! You have to leave. I can't deal with Kendall anymore. You are just a part of his stupid plan to make me feeling sick and twisted and wrong. So I need you to get up and him to get out."

"Wait, I'm still confused." Kendall raises his hand as a joke, which James doesn't find humorous. "So you want me to leave but you're yelling at Logan. I don't understand."

"I want you to go!"

"Me or Logan?"

"Stop asking questions and leave me alone!" James directs to him to the door, growling furiously.

Logan sees James' face boiling red and stands up, tapping James' arm.

"I want you gone too." James says, containing his burning anger.

"Please don't fight." Logan pleads, staring at James with his pouty eyes and pursed lip with a whipped cream mustache. "I don't want you and Kendall to fight."

"Well, we wouldn't if he stops being a jerk."

"Kendall isn't a jerk. He saved me from Jett. Kendall is a hero." Logan states proudly but James doesn't believe him about Jett or Kendall being a hero.

"Logan. This is-"

"I am not a kid!" Logan shouts, shocking both Kendall and James. "I know you love Kendall and Kendall loves you. Why can't you be Kendall's boyfriend?"

"Logan," James sighs, wiping his hair from his forehead. "Look. This is not about loving him or even if he loves me. This is different."

"Are you guys fighting over me?" Logan asks innocently. James and Kendall share a confused look at each other before Kendall jumps in.

"No, Logan." Kendall walks over to pat his shoulder. "Why would you say we are fighting because you?"

"Because I can hear you guys." Logan sniffles, wiping his tears and the cream on his bruised forearm. "You and James were fight about me being raped or something. I don't know what rape is but it sounds bad."

"See," Kendall directs his voice to James. "This is your fault."

"What? How is this my fault?" James fights the accusation.

"Because you couldn't stop complaining about your pathetic life. Maybe if you stop thinking about all the bad things in your life, you can realize how much you have."

"Stop making this about me. We are fighting about if Jett and Logan had sex."

"Rape is sex? No! I don't want sex!" Logan freaks out, jumping on the couch, covering his face with one of the cushions. He curls up in a ball, knees pressing to his chest. "No sex! I hate sex! No rape! Rape bad! No sex!" He chants.

"So you still think Logan and I are still lying about him getting raped?" Kendall asks, mocking James' disbelief. James shakes his head and sits next to Logan, patting his back.

"Logan, listen to me." He tries to grab his attention but Logan won't look, crying into the soft cotton filled pillow. "Logan, listen to me. No matter if Kendall and I are fighting, I still care about you. You're never the problem, ok?"

"What about Kendall?" Logan pokes an eye out of the corner at the blonde.

"I guess I will love you, too." Kendall groans loudly, sitting to Logan's other side. James continues to glare at him for that exhausted sigh but Kendall glares back. "What? I'm not good with kids."

"This isn't about you. This is about making Logan feel comfortable about what happened and letting him know we are here for him." James full-heartedly states. After believing that Logan was almost raped, James finally feels completely caring for him.

"Of course Logan knows we are here for him. Why do you think I am here? I'm here to protect him." Kendall answers his own question, rolling his eyes at the model.

"Then stop fighting me. It's bad enough that you can't even act like a good dad to him when he needs you but you have to roll your eyes at me like I'm crazy. Stop it!" James commands him but Kendall doesn't stop.

The athlete wraps an arm about Logan's shoulders, comforting the balled boy, pulling him out of both of James' smoldering arms. "And what about you? You're hugging him like you're his overprotective mommy. God! Give him some space. He can function without his sexy mommy." Kendall counters, blasting at James.

"At least I feel for other people. All you care about is how great and sexy I am or how special I am. You are obsessed. Can't you for once stop going on about me and think about Logan? He's obviously crying and you can't even pretend to love him."

"Because Kendall loves you." Logan quickly points out, chuckling at them comparing each other as Logan's parental figures. "You called Kendall dad and Kendall called you mommy."

"Stop it, Logan." James blushes, looking away, crossing his arms. "I'm not your mommy and Kendall isn't your dad. And if he is, I don't care. I don't want to be with him."

"Yes you do." Logan sings and pokes James' ribs. "Kendall makes you feel special."

"No, he doesn't."

"That's because you are special!" Kendall and Logan both yell at the same time, surprising the brunette.

"I think you are special, Jamie. You are perfect and Kendall loves you." Logan adds, nodding his head.

"He doesn't love me." James stutters, scratching his arm nervously. "No one loves me." James pauses, trying to change the subject. "And can we stop talking about me and talk about you and-"

"He does love you!" Logan interjects and hits him with the wet pillow. "Kendall-"

"I'll say it, Logan." Kendall cuts in, tapping his shoulder. James waits for Kendall to look at him, connecting eye contact. Having the bottle green eyes gazing at him paralyzes him. James wants to say something but the strong stare freezes him. "I love everything about you, the good and the bad, including all the things that would drive people away. You are crazy, dramatic and you talk too much. But you are a special guy. You make me feel like I have emotions. I hate feelings. They suck and make me weak but you made me share my life, my private stories of my dad with you yesterday night … And make me want to feel bad for this little brat. No offense, Logan."

"None taken. I make fun of your eyebrows when you're not looking." Logan jokes, copying Kendall's surprised expression, having his right eyebrow raised abnormally high. Kendall laughs, not really noticing his facial expressions before now.

"But there are a lot more to you that you don't know." Kendall continues, beaming a smile. "You are a model for god sake so you have to be good looking. We did it and I loved every second of doing you. You are a natural when it comes to feelings, emotions and stuff while I'm too rugged to care about what other think."

"Kendall's saying you're perfect for him!" Logan shrieks, over excited and feeling a rush of glee bursting through him.

"Logan, I got this. Can't you be a brat somewhere else?" Kendall pats his head, messing the spiky brunette hair.

"You said I can help you." Logan pouts and whines but Kendall roughs his head forcefully until the boy is quiet, crossing his arms in silence.

"I said you're almost perfect."

"What?" Logan screams, leaning into Kendall's face. "You're supposed to say James is perfect."

"Logan, can't you be a kid somewhere else? The grown-ups are talking." James groans, feeling annoyed that Logan keeps interrupting their moment. James is nice and does care but sometime Logan can be a handful. "Kendall is talking."

"Nobody loves Logan?"

"We won't if you won't let me love James." Kendall threatens, wagging a finger at the boy's face; and Logan nods, letting Kendall continue. The athlete returns to James, clearing his throat. "The only thing stopping you from being perfect is yourself. James, I just want you to believe in yourself like I do."

"So if I believe in myself, you'll stay? You won't leave me?" James hopes, scooting in, face closer to Kendall's.

"I never left. You have my number and I know where you live. I just want you to say it." The blonde leans in too, inching slowly.

"Say what?" James teases with a smile.

"Everything. Say what you see in yourself." Kendall continues with a small gap between their lips.

"I am good looking." He moves an inch closer, closing his eyes.

"What else?" Kendall follows, teasing an inch, his eyelids dropping.

"I'm special."

"Good, what else?"

"I'm the best you will ever have." James says, pressing his lips on the soft indent he feels. Same with Kendall, kissing back the baby soft skin. They both lean back, opening their eyes to only see that Logan jumped in front and they kissed the brat's cheeks.

"LOGAN!" Kendall and James yell in union, Kendall waving a fist and James gritting his teeth. Logan giggles, falling back against the couch, covering his face with the pillow.

"Sorry, sorry! I had too."

"Get out! Right now! James and I were having a moment and I finally got through. What the-"

"It's ok, Kendall." James grips on Kendall's bicep, caressing gently. He sweetly smiles at him, shrugging his shoulders as if he's telling Kendall to forgive Logan, as if Logan really is a five-year old kid. "We can continue it later."

"Grr..." Kendall growls as James reaches for a cushion and hits Logan playfully with it, making the brunette giggle profusely. And that got Kendall thinking of how to get back at Logan. Grabbing his own pillow, Kendall hammers it on Logan's head. "Take that! You don't do that again!"

"Kendall." James sternly yells at him, knowing Kendall's intention. "You can't hit him like that after you know what happened."

"Please." Kendall scoffs, puffing his chest. "This little brat deserves it. We were so close, so so close and then he jumps in and-"

"Sorry Kenny?" Logan sings, swaying his body. Kendall gives him the same eyebrow-raised look that puts a smile on Logan's dimpled face. "I promise to not bother you and Jamie again. I promise."

"Fine," Kendall sighs, throwing his pillow at Logan's face, knocking Logan back as he waits for James to do the same. The brunette tosses his pillow at Logan's body and leans forward with a dreamy twinkle in his eyes.

They close the gap, getting closer and closer. James closes his eyes first while Kendall keeps his open until the last second, making sure the little man-child won't interrupt them this time.

_Ding dong!_

"God dammit!" Kendall curses, pulling out his golden locks. If it's not Logan then it's something else. It's as if the world doesn't want them to kiss. "What the hell is wrong with people?"

"Kendall, it's only a kiss." James hops off the sofa, walking out the room. But before he leaves, he turns and gives Kendall a wink. "You owe me more than just one kiss."

"Then you better stop teasing me and get your ass back here!" James hears Kendall yelling and Logan saying that "ass" is a bad word as he walks to the front door with an exaggerated smile on his lips. Never has James felt this good about himself. True, Kendall makes him giddy and girly but Kendall did more than just that. He made James feel like he is worth something. It's an indescribable feeling, knowing that you are something valuable. As long as Kendall is around, no one can take this feeling from him.

James unlocks the door, seeing Carlos panting and out of breath. "Carlos?" James just realizes that while having Kendall and Logan over, he forgot to call his best friend.

Carlos nods, trying to get back all the air into his lung and crouching over with his hands on his bent knees. "He ran away! Can you help me find Logan?"

* * *

><p>Sorry if the chapter was not my normal quality. (I hope my grammar wasn't too bad in this chapter).<p>

Thank you for sticking with me and this story. This is my baby of a story and I plan to finish it. Next chapter is crazy (and long) and will have lots of cargan ;]. It's going to be 10000 words. I finished it but I have to edit. I hope it will be posted soon but I want to update my law story first. Thank you for reading this chapter and if you can, being the best people in the world, motivate me with your kind/helpful words …

Please Review =]


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